I Against I, Me Against You
by StotheR
Summary: Twilight is teleported to Blood Gulch Canyon after meddling with a ship that crash landed in Equestria. Now she must enlist the help of the local red and blue soldiers to get home while unraveling the mysteries of Project Freelancer and Equestria.
1. Act 1 Part 1 - Intro

Act 1 Part 1 - Intro

To many of the ponies in Equestria, Ponyville was nothing but a small, backwater town in the middle of nowhere. To the ponies who called the aptly named town home, Ponyville was nothing short of idyllic. The night sky was fully lit with a blanket of stars, courtesy of Princess Luna. While most ponies were unconcerned with the stars beyond their aesthetic appeal, one pony in particular was currently studying the celestial bodies with intense focus.

On the second floor balcony of a library carved into a great tree sat its two purple caretakers. The purple unicorn Twilight Sparkle was looking through her telescope at the stars above. Her purple assistant, Spike the baby dragon was standing to her right, looking across the town with an expression of boredom on his little scaly face.

"Hey…" Spike eventually said.

"Yeah?" Twilight removed her eye from her telescope's lens to look at her assistant

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"

Twilight turned to stare at the sky without the aid of her telescope as she contemplated the question, "It's one of our world's greatest mysteries, isn't it? Why are we here? Were we just created by some great accident of nature, or is there some higher power out there? Something even greater and more omnipresent than even Princess Celestia, watching over us and controlling our destinies…"

Twilight looked back down at the baby dragon. "I don't know Spike, but it makes you think…"

The purple librarian then returned to studying the sky through the lens of her telescope and a strange silence lingered between them for a moment.

"… What?" Spike finally exclaimed.

Twilight removed her eye from the lens again, "Hmm?"

"I meant, why are we _here?_ At the library staring at the sky, when we could be at Sugarcube Corner partying with the others?"

"… Oh." Twilight looked away, her slightly redder cheeks betraying her embarrassment.

"What was with all of that philosophical stuff?"

"Erm… nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing."

"I guess I'm just… in a really contemplative mood lately." In truth, Twilight had been spending a lot of time thinking about her own strange life. The seemingly simple, studious unicorn had spent the past few years saving Equestria from evil kings, queens and gods and was beginning to wonder if there was more to her existence than she once thought.

Spike however, was simply staring at her through suspicious lidded eyes, "Wanna talk about it?"

Twilight chuckled, "I'm fine Spike. Really."

Nodding once, Spike returned to their previous conversation. "Seriously though, why are we here? Pinkie Pie is throwing a huge party for the Cakes' anniversary right now and we're missing it!"

"I told you, Spike! Princess Luna is going to be adding a brand new constellation to the night sky!" Twilight suddenly returned her attention to her telescope as if she suddenly remembered herself why they were there. "I want to document it as soon as it appears!"

Twilight noticed the disappointed groan from her number one assistant and turned to address him. "Don't worry, there will still be plenty of time to go to Pinkie's party when I'm done!"

When Twilight next returned to looking through her telescope, she gave an excited gasp "There it is! There it is!" The purple mare then began frantically alternating between jotting down notes and staring through her telescope.

Sure enough, when Spike looked up at the clear night sky, he saw several stars that weren't there before. About nine stars arranged to look like a unicorn's head in profile. It was incredibly reminiscent of the mare in the moon. That pattern on the moon's face had been missing from the lunar body since Princess Luna's return.

Satisfied that they would soon be leaving for Sugarcube Corner, Spike took it upon himself to start cleaning up the various books Twilight had left on the balcony they were currently standing on, including one that she had been reading while waiting for tonight's celestial event to occur. When Spike went to retrieve it, he noticed that the book was one of the new additions to the library, having just arrived in a shipment that day. It was titled "_Spells and Enchantments of the First Millenium_" and was currently open on a chapter about something called "Magical Constructs."

With all of the books left on the balcony in claw, Spike turned and was about to make his way inside when he heard Twilight make a puzzled noise.

"What the…"

Spike turned back to see what was perplexing the unicorn and saw her still looking through her telescope. The look of joy and excitement on Twilight's face when she was documenting the new constellation was replaced by one of slight trepidation. Following her gaze skyward, Spike saw the source of her confusion. Streaking past the new constellation in the sky was a shooting star. At least, that's what he thought at first. Unlike normal shooting stars, which only ever appeared briefly to shoot across a portion of the sky before disappearing just as fast, this one continued across the dark expanse with consistent visibility.

"What's that? A meteor?" Spike asked.

"I guess…" Twilight muttered, not taking her eyes off of the strange celestial entity.

After lingering for a moment longer, Spike turned and went back into the library, deciding that putting those books away was a bigger priority. Twilight stayed on the balcony, oddly transfixed by the distant moving body as it continued traveling lower and lower in the sky. Only when the thing reached the horizon and disappeared did Twilight Sparkle finally turn to join her companion inside.

* * *

To many of the simulation troopers in the Freelancer program, Blood Gulch was nothing but a small, backwater canyon in the middle of nowhere. To the red and blue soldiers who called the aptly named canyon home, Blood Gulch was… a small backwater canyon in the middle of nowhere.

Absolutely nothing interesting ever seemed to happen in the tiny box canyon. This fact however, was not prevalent at the moment as all of the red and blue soldiers that occupied the gorge stood in its center. Each one of them watching as a man in cobalt armor faced a soldier in black.

"**You have no idea what kind of trouble you are in.**" The soldier in black laughed.

Church's heart sank when he heard Tex speak in a deep, distorted voice that wasn't her own. The woman in black turned away from the man in cobalt and headed for the ship a few feet away, only stopping briefly to pick up the white helmet of Agent Wyoming.

"Tex, wait! You don't want to do this!" Church desperately called after her.

"**Sheila, are you ready?**" The deep menacing voice only served to remind Church that he was not speaking to Tex anymore. The Omega A.I was behind the wheel now.

"All systems online." The ship's own A.I replied in her pleasant yet monotonous voice. "Ignition coil activated. Starting thrusters."

That was the last of the conversation Church could hear as the Pelican dropship engaged its engines and began to hover off the ground. Tex and Omega were on board with everything they needed to enact their plan to enslave a race of aliens.

"Tex! Don't. Do this!" Church's plea was in vain, as the ship began its ascent.

Church turned to Sarge. The red team's leader in standard-issue red armor had been a constant foil to Church throughout his time in Blood Gulch, and now he was relying on the sergeant to put a stop to Tex and the maniacal A.I controlling her.

"We have to stop her right now!" Church exclaimed.

"No problem-o blue!" Sarge replied in his gruff southern accent. Church then heard Sarge's voice inside his helmet as the sergeant began speaking over the radio. "Andy, you there?"

"I'm here coach!" Church heard the unmistakable obnoxious voice of Andy the Bomb reply over the radio. By this point in his life, the novelty of speaking with a literal talking bomb had worn off.

"What's going on?" Church asked the talking explosive, realizing with a growing sense of panic that he was on board the ship that was growing smaller in the sky.

"Tex is hookin' up Wyoming's helmet to the computer!"

Church immediately knew what she was planning. If Tex used Wyoming's temporal distortion armor ability on the ship's systems, she would have a makeshift slipspace drive, allowing her to reach the alien homeworld in no time at all! She even had Wyoming's A.I Gamma on board to use it!

"Ready for your job soldier?" Sarge asked the talking bomb.

"You bet!"

"Alright then son. Do what you were born to do: detonate!"

"Hey! Do you want me start from three or ten? C'mon! Let's build it up a little bit! Suspense! It'll kill 'em! Ten…"

Just when Church thought his levels of panic couldn't get any higher. The one thing that frightened him more than Tex getting away was losing her completely. Church rounded on Sarge.

"I told you to disable the ship-"

"Nine…"

"-Not destroy it!"

"Eight…"

"Oh well, score one for the red team I guess." Sarge said.

"Seven…"

Church ignored the bickering between Sarge and one of his own teammates as he tried to think of something. Anything.

"Six…"

"Five…"

"Four…"

Church desperately tried to reach out to Andy. "Andy! Do NOT detonate!"

"Three…"

The ship was a mere speck in the sky now.

"Can you see her heading?"

"Two…"

"Do you know where she's going?"

"One…"

The ship suddenly disappeared in a bright flash as it made the jump to slipspace.

"Tex…?"

"Boooo no explosion!" a soldier in orange armor whined, "That sucked!"

On cue, the spot in the sky where the ship disappeared was engulfed in a fiery explosion.

"Haha! Blam-o!" Sarge cheered.

"Wow! That explosion was awesome!" Church didn't so much as glance at the man in pink armor who just spoke. He simply turned and started walking away.

"What explosion? I didn't see it! Do it again!" Church ignored the orange soldier as he walked towards his teammates.

"Uh, Church? What should we do?" Asked Tucker, Church's subordinate in teal armor.

Normally when faced with a question from his teal comrade, Church would do one of two things. Either he would give him an order, or find a new creative way to call him an idiot. Oftentimes both. However, like everything else that was accepted as "normal" in Blood Gulch, this fact was not prevalent at the moment.

"Do whatever you want. I'm going home." Church tuned out the bickering that immediately followed between the rest of the red and blue soldiers as he walked solemnly towards Blue Base.

This wasn't the first time Tex had died while Church was helpless to do anything, and it hurt just as much now as it had each time before. It seemed as if his entire life was nothing but an endless cycle of failure where the people he loved suffered the consequences.

What bothered Church the most this time was that he didn't even get to say goodbye. This was strange, because as long as Church could remember, he hated goodbyes.

* * *

Twilight Sparkle wasted no time in stepping off the train as soon as it came to a complete stop in the station. It had been a long three-day ride from Ponyville with only one stop for fuel on the second day and she needed to stretch her legs. Stepping out onto the wooden platform, the desert air was oppressively hot and dry, but no less refreshing.

"Welcome to Dodge City!" A tiny enthusiastic filly with a sky-blue coat and blonde mane greeted.

Twilight smiled at the bright young foal as she continued to make her way off the platform. The filly simply continued to give the same greeting to every pony that stepped off the train, apparently having made it her mission to welcome every new arrival to her town.

"Couldn't wait to get off the train, could ya?" Twilight turned at the familiar southern twang and saw Applejack and the rest of her friends stepping off the train with their saddlebags… and hers.

"Oh, whoops." With a burst of telekinetic magic, Twilight levitated the saddlebag with her cutie mark on it out of Applejack's extended hoof and placed it securely across her back.

"Welcome to Dodge City!"

A certain energetic pink earth pony wasted no time in hopping up to the tiny blue filly. "Well aren't you just the most adorable-est thing ever!" Pinkie Pie giggled, ruffling the filly's mane, "I could just eat you up! OM-NOM-NOM-NOM!"

Twilight gave a good-natured sigh as her poofy, pink friend continued making goofy, exaggerated eating noises for the hysterically giggling filly. Pinkie had only barely gotten off the train and already she was making new friends. Though, Applejack had to step in and pry the pink pony's mouth open to release the filly's tail from its grip (the filly, for her part, seemed to be having fun regardless).

"It's about time we got here, I thought my wings were gonna fall off if I was cooped up in that train a second longer!" Rainbow Dash complained, stretching the aforementioned appendages out.

"I'm pretty sure no pegasus ever lost her wings from not flying for a couple of days." Spike deadpanned as he walked up to Twilight.

"Yeah, still think I'll stretch the girls out a bit." Rainbow Dash said nonchalantly, giving a few flaps of her wings "Maybe show the ponies of this town some awesome moves while I'm at it!"

Satisfied with her idea, the rainbow-maned Pegasus took off into the air and started lazily circling over the town, throwing in the occasional spin or loop-de-loop. The other five ponies and one baby dragon continued stepping off the train platform and took their first steps into Dodge City proper.

The name Dodge _City_ was a little misleading, as the small desert community consisted mostly of distant outlying farms, at the center of which was a small cluster of run down wooden buildings. Ponies that thought of Ponyville as rustic have clearly never seen Dodge City. A buck-toothed earth pony stallion sitting on a nearby veranda strumming on a banjo completed the image. The one thing that clashed with the town's bucolic image was a very out of place patrol of ponies in the golden armor of the Royal Guard that caught Twilight Sparkle's attention.

"Ooh! Ooh! I should start planning the welcome party right after we're done Twilight's thing!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she bounced merrily along with the rest of the group.

"Um… I don't really think you're supposed to… um, throw your own welcoming party…" Fluttershy said at barely audible levels. The shy Pegasus was currently walking behind the group and was doing her best to avoid eye contact with any other pony in town.

"I'm not throwing a 'Welcome to Dodge City, Pinkie Pie' party, silly! I'm throwing a 'Welcome to Pinkie Pie, Dodge City' party!" Pinkie explained as if it was obvious.

Twilight and the others simply decided to drop the issue, lest they fall deeper into the black hole that was Pinkie Pie's logic.

"Well, I fer one like it here. Reminds me a bit 'o Appleloosa, only a little more in need of a fixer-upper!" Applejack drawled, already studying the buildings in the vicinity, imagining how she would go about repairing them.

"Erm… yes. Not that I'm unhappy to be here to help you, Twilight darling…" Rarity carefully started, giving a particularly muddy spot in her path an offended glare as she maneuvered around it. "But, did Princess Celestia say what exactly she needed you here for?"

Twilight looked at Rarity with an amused grin, "Oh, Celestia isn't the one who sent for me."

"But… did you not say that you received a letter from her the day after the Cakes' tenth anniversary celebration?"

"I said I received a letter from the _Princess_. I didn't say it was Celestia."

On cue, the group of five mares and one baby dragon turned a corner and came face to face with a certain dark alicorn flanked by two of her purple armored Night Guards. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity and Spike all gaped at Princess Luna, wondering for a moment if the coincidental timing of her appearance had been planned.

The night alicorn gave no indication of such as she simply looked at Twilight and her friends expectantly, her starry ethereal mane flowing majestically. This regal image was abruptly ruined by Rainbow Dash colliding with the ground a few feet behind the Princess of the Night. Apparently she too had been surprised by Princess Luna's sudden appearance.

"I'm okay! My face cushioned my landing!" Rainbow's voice was slightly muffled by the ground that her face was buried in.

Despite Rainbow's assurance, Fluttershy bolted past Luna and her guards to make sure her friend wasn't hurt. Twilight meanwhile approached Luna and gave her a quick bow.

"Hello Princess Luna!"

"Well met indeed, Twilight Sparkle. We- _I_ am most pleased to see you again!" The night alicorn was still adjusting to modern language conventions since her attempted reintroduction to modern society on Nightmare Night about a year ago.

"I see you brought your friends along with you. Excellent. Come with me. There are great matters we must look into."

Luna turned and began walking through town, the six mares and baby dragon right behind her and her two guards taking up position behind the group. The group got plenty of curious looks from various local ponies as they walked. Twilight sped up a little so she was walking alongside the Princess. A couple of things about the whole situation were on her mind and she wanted to ask Luna about it. She decided to engage in a little small talk first.

"I really like your new constellation by the way."

Luna gave a solemn nod, "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. Your recent performance in the Crystal Empire was quite admirable."

Twilight didn't miss just how quick Luna was to change the topic. She couldn't help but wonder about the reason why Princess Luna had put the same image in the stars that was on the face of the moon during her banishment. She thought it best not to ask if the new constellation served to remind Luna of past mistakes.

After the two of them chatted about other small matters for a few minutes as they walked, Twilight decided to address what was really on her mind. The group of ponies (and dragon) had completely left the center of Dodge City and were now walking along a relatively secluded dirt road, a thick line of trees to their right.

"It's not unusual for Princess Celestia to call on me for a task of some sort. She is my mentor after all. But I have to ask: why have _you_ called upon me with… whatever this is?" Twilight then realized what she said could be misconstrued as ungrateful or indignant and quickly added, "Not that there's a problem, of course! I really like the night. And the moon! It makes late night studying very..."

"No no, I understand," Princess Luna jumped in, cutting off Twilight's anxiety induced rambling, "me calling upon you for some task rather than my sister is pretty unusual." Luna then paused. It was brief, but for some reason it stood out to Twilight. "Princess Celestia has been out of the country dealing with foreign affairs. Thus it was left to me to deal with this… situation."

And so, the second question on Twilight's mind came up. "And what exactly is the situation? Your letter didn't say anything about..."

The Princess of the Night raised a hoof, stopping the purple unicorn's frantic rambling before it could properly start. "Since this is a matter of national security, I couldn't risk disclosing the exact nature of what is going on in a letter…"

The group found themselves before a crossroad in the dirt path they were traveling. An even smaller path branched off into the forest to their right. It was so indiscreet that the ponies almost didn't notice it until Luna started walking down it into the shade of the trees.

"You say you saw my new constellation when it appeared did you not?" Luna asked. Twilight nodded, not sure where the night Princess was going with this. "Then you must also have noticed something else strange in the sky that night."

Twilight remembered the meteor she saw that night. Before she could give the matter any more thought though, the group came upon what appeared to be a guard checkpoint, with a pair of white-coated ponies in the telltale gold armor of Equestria's military. The two guards stood aside for Princess Luna and saluted. Twilight and the others followed closely behind.

The purple unicorn's head began to fill with even more questions. Why were there so many guards here? What did any of this have to do with the meteor she saw? Unless…

Twilight nearly tripped over her own hooves when she remembered exactly what direction she'd seen the meteor disappear over the horizon: Southeast. The direction from Ponyville Dodge City was located.

"What the Sam Hill's with all these guards?" Applejack asked as the group passed another guard patrol along the path.

Luna took a few more steps before answering. "Patience, my little ponies. For this type of thing, it's better to show rather than tell."

The group continued to walk through the woods for another minute before they came to a hill overlooking a large clearing. What the six ponies and dragon saw caused all seven of their jaws to hit the ground. The clearing below was filled with what appeared to be an entire contingent of Royal Guards. Several tents had been set up throughout the clearing and squadrons of pegasi circled in the skies above.

All of this though, was not what had caused the group's state of stupefaction. Nestled in a crater in the center of the clearing was… something. None of the ponies or the single dragon could tell exactly what it was, other than it was a rather large hunk of twisted metal. It appeared to be painted a dark green and had various markings on it, but the group couldn't see them clearly from that distance. Much of it was covered in black splotches where it looked like it was burned.

After a while, Rainbow Dash voiced the question that was on all of their minds. "So… what is it?"

"That… is the answer!" A stallion's voice answered. The baby dragon and six mares all took their eyes off the metal husk in the distance and looked to the foot of the hill they were standing on, where the source of the voice was making his way up towards them.

"The answer? To what? Today's crossword?" Pinkie asked, pulling a newspaper out of wherever she kept things.

The new arrival approached the group of ponies. He was a tan unicorn with a short dark blue mane and wore a pair of glasses. His cutie mark was obscured by the white lab coat he wore.

"The answer to: are we alone in the universe?"

Twilight's let out a small gasp, while Pinkie dove into her newspaper. "Are we al… nope! It's seven letters!"

"Lemme see…" Rainbow Dash grabbed Pinkie's newspaper and started studying it closely.

"Everypony, this is Arcane Star: head on-site researcher." Luna introduced.

The Princess then proceeded to introduce each of the mares, who each shook hooves with the unicorn (except Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, who gave Star the bare minimum of their attention before returning to poring over Pinkie's crossword with the intensity of two archeologists trying to decipher an ancient riddle).

"So are you saying that _that_ thing is… an alien spaceship?" Twilight asked once she was thinking clearly enough to form words again.

Arcane Star nodded and gave a wide sweeping gesture with his hoof in the direction of the crashed ship. "You're looking at Equestria's first contact with another world!"

This got the attention of everyone on the hilltop, as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie abandoned their crossword to stare at the distant crumpled metal with renewed wonder.

"Well I'll be dipped in applesauce…"

"Oh… my…"

"I can't say I care much for the color scheme…"

"Whoa… AWESOME!"

"Do you think the aliens like cupcakes?"

Luna raised a hoof, getting the attention the six excited mares and dragon. "Would you all like to see it up close?"

Seven wide-eyed nods answered Luna's question and Arcane Star turned and lead the group down through the clearing, all too enthusiastic to show off his findings. The seven of them ignored the small army of guards and scientists bustling to and fro through the campsite. They only had eyes for the mysterious metal form and soon enough they were right in front of the spacecraft.

Twilight immediately noticed that the ship looked much more damaged up close. What she imagined had once been a symmetrical piece of technological brilliance had been broken and twisted into an asymmetrical monstrosity. Twilight doubted it even came close to resembling what it looked like in peak condition. Now that they were close enough, she tried reading what was written on the surface. She saw the words "UNSC," "Marines," and "Pelic." Gibberish, though it looked like a large part of the latter word had been burned off.

She noticed a window covering a smaller part of the vehicle. Inside she saw what appeared to be large seats facing out, and guessed it must have been the cockpit, and that they were currently standing in front of the ship. Looking at the hulking vessel, Twilight couldn't help but be reminded of a beached whale.

After the group had been given a moment to take in the twisted metal husk, Arcane Star spoke up. "Anypony want to see the inside?"

"I don't know… is it… um… safe?" Fluttershy took a few steps back and crouched low behind her friends.

"Yeah, are there any aliens in there?" Spike asked, sounding a little worried himself.

"We'll get to the issue of the aliens themselves later." Star said, adjusting his glasses. "Don't worry though, there are no aliens currently on board."

The unicorn stallion lead the six mares, baby dragon and alicorn Princess around the derelict ship until they arrived at what Twilight theorized was the back. Looking down into the crater, Twilight saw a large opening in the ship underneath something that looked like a big metal tail, which once again made Twilight think of a large dead animal.

"Alright, who's going in?" Arcane Star asked.

Fluttershy's response was to "eep" and try her best to sink through the ground. Rarity moved beside the cowering yellow pegasus and put a hoof on her back.

"I should probably stay with Fluttershy."

"Yeah… 'S probably not much more interesting inside anyway…" Rainbow Dash moved beside the two of them. "I'd totally go in if I had to… cuz I'm not scared or anything… I just don't feel like it!"

"Hey! Wanna finish our crossword?" Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing up to Rainbow Dash and pulling out the newspaper from before (which was weird, because Twilight was sure Pinkie had left it back on the hilltop).

Twilight looked over to Applejack, who was staring at the entrance to the alien craft as if an orange had popped up in her apple orchard.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be honest. This thing right spooks me!" The apple farmer went to join the rest of the ponies who had opted out on the tour of the ship's interior.

Twilight looked at her five friends and then at the opening in the ship. She repeated this motion a couple more times before looking at Luna, who gave her an encouraging nod. Twilight turned to Arcane Star. "Alright. Lead the way."

The head researcher did just that, and the pair of unicorns made their way down into the crater towards the opening. Hearing another pair of footsteps behind her, Twilight glanced around and saw Spike rushing to catch up to them.

"Glad I can count on _you_ not to chicken out!" Twilight giggled once her assistant fell into step beside her.

The trio soon entered the ship. After ascending a small ramp they found themselves in an extremely dark corridor. Twilight wasn't sure if it was normally this dark or if whatever the aliens used as a light source had been damaged in the crash. Firefly lanterns were placed here and there, giving off enough light to see where they were going and making it apparent that research teams had already given the vessel a thorough search.

Moving deeper into the ship, the hairs on Twilight's back stood on end as she was overcome by a growing sense of unease. This wasn't just the natural fear of entering a dark, foreboding alien machine. There was something else to it. It was a feeling of being watched. Like some intangible entity was studying her with unseen eyes. Twilight pushed the feeling aside, choosing instead to focus on her curiosity of her new surroundings.

Looking around at the walls, Twilight noticed that many of them were covered in small blinking lights. Upon closer inspection, she realized that these were all buttons on computer consoles not unlike the gem-powered ones she kept in her basement lab. These machines however seemed way more technologically advanced than the ones she used.

"Amazing! Have you figured out what any of these are for?" Twilight asked.

"We've guessed at the function of some of the terminals, but we still have no idea how to use them." Star answered. "Most of them are damaged beyond use anyway."

The three of them soon reached the end of the corridor, where they saw another computer terminal and what looked like a door to the cockpit.

"Here is what we believe is the central control system." Arcane Star announced, gesturing to the wall of glowing buttons that honestly did not look much different than the others on the ship.

"What's that?" Spike asked, pointing at something on the floor just in front of the terminal.

Twilight looked at what her number one assistant was pointing at. It was a slightly rounded white metal object with what appeared to be a chrome window on the front. The thing was roughly the size of her head. Twilight had at first assumed it was just a discarded piece of equipment until she realized that it was connected to the central computer with a few wires.

"That is actually a helmet of some sort that the aliens wear." Star explained as Spike moved closer to get a better look. "_Don't touch it_!"

Spike froze, his arms extended towards the alien headgear. "Even though it looks like a simple piece of equipment by these aliens' standards, for some reason they've connected it to the computer. We don't know what will happen if we disconnect it, so we decided to just leave it."

Twilight nodded in understanding. Better safe then sorry. Especially when dealing with advanced technology you don't really understand. Still though, something about the helmet piqued Twilight's curiosity. She found herself wanting to grab it and study it from every angle right then and there, but decided it was ultimately not a good idea.

The purple mare took another look at the computer that the white helmet was connected to. Aside from the various buttons and charts, there was a screen with two different combinations of numbers on it. Twilight wasn't sure why the numbers drew her attention, but she couldn't figure out their function any more than she could the rest of the controls.

"And finally, we have the cockpit!" Arcane Star lead Twilight and Spike through the doorway into the cockpit that Twilight saw from outside. Sure enough, through the cockpit's windshield the Royal Guard infested clearing was fully visible.

For the next few minutes Arcane Star showed her the various points of interest in the cockpit. Twilight soon lost track of the time in the thrill of discovery as she and Star excitedly bounced ideas and theories off each other on the purpose of every piece of machinery in the cockpit.

"Not that this isn't super interesting and all, but can we go now?" Spike asked, interrupting the two unicorns' latest musings. Twilight felt bad that for a moment she'd nearly forgotten her dragon assistant was there. "This place kinda gives me the creeps!"

Twilight nodded, as that ominous presence she felt on board the ship returned to the forefront of her mind. "Okay, let's go."

As the trio left the cockpit and started walking back down the dark corridor towards the exit, Twilight couldn't help but glance back at the main control console with the mysterious white helmet plugged in. That little oddity was the biggest mystery yet, and Twilight kind of wished she had more time to study it. Regardless, the three of them made it out of the oppressively dark metal atmosphere of the ship and rejoined the others.

"C'mon! There's one more thing I want to show you!" Arcane Star ran ahead to a nearby tent with renewed excitement.

The five ponies took some time to talk to Twilight about what she found inside the ship before following their guide at a leisurely pace. Twilight however, lingered a bit to talk to Princess Luna. She still had more questions.

"This is all… really incredible, and I'm grateful to be here to see all of this…" Twilight hesitated as she tried to find the right words for what she wanted to say next. "But… I'm guessing you didn't summon me here just so you could show me all the neat stuff you found!"

"Yes. We were hoping that you would stay here for a while and take part in the research. As my sister's protégé, your skills would be invaluable."

"Of course, I would be honored!" Twilight then looked ahead at the group of five ponies entering the tent in front of them. "But, what about my friends?"

"To be perfectly honest, I was not expecting your friends to come along. However, they are all more than welcome to stay. Who knows? Having all of the element bearers around may prove useful!" Luna turned to face the tent the rest of the ponies and baby dragon disappeared into. "Now, as much as I'd like to stay, I have business to return to in Canterlot. Why don't you join Arcane Star and the others in the main research tent? You might want to see what he has in there!" Luna gave a playful smile.

After saying her farewell to the Princess of the Night, Twilight turned and made her way towards the research tent after her friends. Admittedly, part of the reason she loved astronomy so much was the idea of life existing beyond the stars. Now, with proof of such life in a crater ten feet behind her, Twilight found herself imagining what an alien world must have looked like. She could only imagine it was beautiful and full of wonders.

* * *

The scenery of Blood Gulch remained unchanged: bleak and lifeless. A few days after the incident with Tex, Omega and the ship, things in the box canyon were as quiet as if nothing had ever happened. But things _had_ happened; that was the reality Church had lived with for the past few days. The man in cobalt armor walked out of the front entrance to the round concrete slab that served as Blue Base, turning to face the large tank parked a few feet away.

The M808B Main Battle Tank, or "Scorpion" as it was more commonly known by was the most reliable in the admittedly small arsenal of weapons in Blue Team's arsenal. It was a large rusty metal box with four sets of treads and a single massive cannon capable of rotating 360 degrees on top. Church walked towards the large armored vehicle intending to get in. There was a time Church thought he could blow up the whole Goddamn world with that thing. Maybe it was time to put that to the test. He'd start with red base and then… who knows? At the very least, it was something to do to keep his mind off of recent events.

That was the plan anyway when Church climbed into the tank's pilot seat. A few seconds after starting the ignition, Church found himself climbing back out of the tank and taking a step closer to Blue Base.

"Tucker! Hey Tucker! TUCKER!" Church called, hoping that simply yelling his companion's name enough times would get him to answer.

Sure enough, the soldier in teal armor appeared on the roof of the base. "Ugh, dude: we have radios in our helmets. Why are you yelling like a fucking lunatic?"

"Oh yeah, good point," Both Church and Tucker heard the all too familiar beeps and static in their helmets as Church turned on his helmet radio. "TUCKER! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Ow! Goddammit!" Tucker shouted, putting his hands to the sides of his helmet where his ears were located, suffering the feedback that naturally came with Church yelling over the radio at top of his lungs. "Asshole…"

Soon, Tucker joined Church beside the tank. "Alright, I'm here. What do you want?"

Church sighed. "What the Hell's wrong with the tank?"

"I dunno, you tell me! You're the one who was out here fucking with it!"

"Well for starters, I can't drive it. The engine works, but I can't get it to move."

"Did you shift the gear?"

Church gave an exaggerated shrug of his arms "Oh of course! That's the issue! I had it in park! Thanks Tucker, what would I ever do without your fucking expertise?" Church then dropped his arms and with them his sarcastic tone "Of course I shifted the gear! Do I look like a Goddamn idiot?"

"I don't think you want me to answer that…"

"Whatever, do you know who the last person to use the tank was?" There were three other people currently stationed at Blue Base aside from Church and Tucker. Sister, Doc and…

"Caboose." Tucker answered, "He said he was trying to find Sheila or some dumb crap."

"Sheila?" Sheila was the A.I that once operated the tank. Church found this strange, namely because, "Sheila's not in the tank anymore, remember? We moved her to the ship!"

"I know that! But you know Caboose. He's kind of an idiot."

"You don't say…"

"He probably thinks some part of Sheila is still in the tank, or something!"

Church sighed again and put a hand to his forehead. "So, let me get this straight: Caboose told you that he was going to go mess around in the tank… and you _let him_?"

"The guy just really misses Sheila." Tucker shrugged, "It was either let him screw around in the tank, or listen to his sad and somewhat poetic rambling."

Deciding he'd heard enough, Church once again turned to face Blue Base. "Caboose! Hey Caboose! CABOOSE!"

Church then heard the sounds of someone turning on a helmet radio. "Hey Caboose. Church wants you. We're outside." Tucker said calmly over the radio.

Church remained silent as he and Tucker waited for Caboose, deciding not to mention that he had once again forgotten that he had a radio inside his helmet. Soon, a certain soldier in standard issue blue armor walked out of Blue Base and started making his way towards Tucker and Church.

"I am alone… My life is a lonely road… walking alone… into a dark darkness… that is dark… also lonely…" Caboose continued his odd musings until he reached the other two blues standing outside. "Hey Church. Tucker said you wanted to see me… He used the radio."

"Yes. Thank you Caboose." It was then that Church realized that the intellectually impaired man was taking Sheila's loss as hard as he was taking Tex's. Church didn't know what was more depressing; that Tex was gone, or that he had something in common with Caboose.

"I need to ask you about the tank." He continued.

"I didn't break the tank! I didn't even know it was broken!" Caboose then leaned in closer to Church and whispered conspiratorially, "I think Tucker…"

"…Already told me you were messing with the tank. Don't lie to me Caboose."

"Tucker did it!"

"No moron, we literally just established that you broke the tank! Nobody's debating that." Tucker groaned.

"I wasn't talking about the tank thing. I was talking about the 'ratted me out to Church' thing."

"Yeah that's true, but nobody's debating that, either."

"Caboose. What did you do to the tank?" Church made sure to speak very slowly and clearly so that Caboose would understand.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything to the tank…" Caboose paused when both Church and Tucker looked unconvinced, "...that didn't involve pulling out those wires under the pedals."

"Goddammit. Guess we'd better get to work fixing it then." Despite Church's words, none of the three blue soldiers standing around the tank made a move to fix it. "Nobody's moving. Why isn't anyone moving?"

"Uh, that would be because none of us knows how to fix a tank." Tucker stated.

"Right…"

The group of blue soldiers stood in silence for a few more awkward moments.

"The gun still works right?" Tucker asked.

"On the tank?" Church asked. "I guess. If all Caboose did was take out the wires for the pedals."

"Then there we go! We can still use it to fight the reds, we just can't move it. All Caboose really did was turn the tank into a stationary turret."

"That's good right? Because if so, that was my plan all along!" Caboose said.

Church meanwhile, was holding a hand to his chin. "It's good enough for me!"

With that settled, the three blues went their separate ways. Tucker and Caboose began to wonder around the perimeter of the base while Church lingered behind.

"Good job team! I knew we could fix the problem!" Caboose exclaimed.

"We didn't fix the problem! We just decided not to do anything about it!" Tucker pointed out.

Church on the other hand began a slow walk towards the top of Blue Base. He was just thinking about how they dealt with problems with the tank in the past when he remembered that Tex was always the one who fixed it. Church wasn't sure why he was so obsessed with her memory. There was not much love between the two of them, despite their history. It seemed like every time Church and Tex were together, there was nothing but the bitter exchange of insults, no different than the banter between he and his teammates.

And yet, for some inexplicable reason, whenever Tex was gone she was all he could think about. She was like some part of him he couldn't let go. Church soon found himself wondering whether her ship had survived, and if it had, where she had ended up.

* * *

The first thing Twilight noticed about the tent was that it was a _lot_ bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. She guessed that it had been enchanted with several spatial compression spells.

The next thing she noticed was that the whole room was set up much like her own basement lab, with several gem-powered machines working away at various tasks. What really caught her eye was the centerpiece of the room. On a fairly large operating table sealed off by airtight transparent plastic curtains was a large bipedal figure in black armor.

Twilight didn't even notice she was moving closer to the inert alien form until she was right outside of the protective curtain. It also took her a while to notice that the rest of her friends were standing right beside her, also staring with wonder at the black armored creature that Twilight gestured to.

"Is that…?"

"Eeyup…" Was Applejack's reply, not taking an eye off the motionless alien.

The black armor the thing was wearing looked incredibly advanced, and even had a few areas that seemed to light up like the computers on the ship. It was then that Twilight saw the helmet. Apart from the fact that it was black rather than white, it looked exactly the same as the one that was hooked up to the computer on board the ship.

"Well, what do you think?" Asked Arcane Star, standing next to the group. "Isn't she a beaut?"

Twilight nodded, then stopped as what Star said suddenly clicked, "Wait, _she_?"

Arcane Star nodded, "Actually, we don't know if the thing even _has_ a gender, seeing as it appears to be entirely mechanical. But Tome Keeper and I have a bet…"

The later half of the head researcher's words were drowned out by Twilight's thoughts. A race of mechanical beings? Or was this one just a robot built by the actual aliens?

"So is it… um… dead?" Fluttershy's small voice made its way to Twilight's ears, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"It was when we found it. At the very least, it isn't capable of moving now. Here, I'll show you!"

Twilight didn't miss the way Fluttershy shifted closer to her friends in spite of this information. The shy pegasus couldn't seem to be able to decide whether she was sad that alien being on the table was dead, or relieved that it wasn't alive to attack them.

Arcane Star wasted no time in moving along to another table. The tan unicorn beckoned the others to the table he was at.

"A mechanized body this advanced needs an equally advanced method of cognitive functioning!" Arcane Star received blank stares from all but Twilight.

"Uh… sorry, I don't speak egghead." Rainbow Dash bluntly stated.

"Essentially, he's saying that everything needs a brain." Twilight explained, well used to simplifying things for her athletic friend.

"Somethin' RD here'd do well to remember once 'n a while…" Applejack muttered. Though, it was just loud enough to receive an angry glare from the aforementioned pegasus.

"Exactly! So, I present to you: the creature's brain!" Arcane Star did a practiced dramatic gesture with his hoof to the table they were all standing around.

It was then that they all noticed what seemed like a relatively empty table in fact had a small square object sitting in the center. It looked like an incredibly small version of the computers on the ship. On closer inspection, Twilight noticed an odd symbol engraved on it. It looked like an irregularly shaped horseshoe.

"We pulled this sort of artificial brain out of a slot in the back of the alien robot's helmet." Star explained, "After much research, we've discovered that functionally, it is not that different from an M.I!"

"M.I…" Pinkie said, putting a contemplative hoof to her chin. "What's the M stand for?"

"Magical…" Twilight then saw Rainbow Dash open her mouth to say something, "Intelligence," Twilight answered before the blue pegasus could even ask.

"Pretty impressive, Miss Sparkle!" Star commented. "I heard you really know your stuff when it comes to magic, but Magical Intelligence constructs have all but been forgotten!"

"Would either of you mind elaborating for us what exactly a… 'Magical Intelligence' is?" Rarity asked.

"Sure! I just got a new book with a whole section on them!" Twilight took a breath, eager to share her knowledge, "Magical intelligence constructs, or 'M.I's' are incorporeal magical consciousness's that were used to operate and maintain a variety of high level spells and enchantments too great for any lone unicorn to manage!"

More blank stares from her friends made Twilight realize she'd have to slow down and simplify things some more.

"Think of them as like ghosts. They don't have physical forms and have really advanced, fast working brains. They're capable of performing more spells more efficiently than even the best unicorns!"

"Well that sounds incredibly useful!" Rarity exclaimed. Being a unicorn, she was the only one of the five ponies who didn't know about M.I's who could appreciate their potential. "Why doesn't anypony use these M.I things anymore?"

"They became forbidden about one thousand years ago. Just after Princess Luna's banishment."

"Yes, they were pretty controversial ethically speaking," Star explained.

"Why?" Spike asked.

"M.I's were created based on the minds of real, living ponies. Because of that, they were capable of experiencing the full range of pony emotions. As self-aware magical tools, many became emotionally unstable upon contemplating their existence. They became a danger to themselves and the ponies around them." Twilight explained, "Some of them even thought that they were _real ponies_."

The ponies in the room were silent. Each of them made uncomfortable by what they had just learned (though, an exaggerated yawn from Rainbow Dash indicated she was simply bored).

"Yes. In spite of this though, I have full clearance from the Princess to proceed with this experiment." Arcane Star said.

Twilight suddenly turned to face him, "W-wait wuh-what? What experiment?"

"Oh right, I forgot to tell you. I need your help with an experiment!" Star cheerfully announced. "That is why Princess Luna called you here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's just… it's been a long day of travel and I wasn't expecting to get started immediately…"

"Oh it won't be much, I just need you to transfer some magic to me while I convert this alien intelligence into an M.I!"

The tent was filled with perfect silence… for about a second. "WHAT? AFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID ABOUT M.I'S BEING FORBIDDEN AND POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS?" Twilight proceeded to hyperventilate.

"Relax Miss Sparkle. Breathe." Arcane Star waited for Twilight's breathing to reach a relatively normal pace before continuing. "My team has put all the necessary protective enchantments on this tent and everything in it. It will be a safe procedure."

Twilight looked at the head researcher skeptically, still unconvinced.

"Think of how much we could learn from a being of alien origins! The way this artificial intelligence was designed; it cannot communicate with us without a body its compatible with, and right now the only compatible body in Equestria is on that table, damaged beyond use."

Star gestured to the operating table where the black armor-clad alien lay motionless, "if we want it to talk to us, we need it to be able to do so without a body, and the only way to do that is to convert the digital data in _here_" Star pointed to the A.I unit on the table, "into magical energy."

The unicorn stallion leaned in closer to the skeptical Twilight, "The Princess herself asked me… asked _us_ to learn from this being, and this is only way to do that!"

Finally, Twilight let out a long sigh. "Fine. But only because its what the Princess wants."

Spike and the other five mares all stepped back from the table while Twilight Sparkle and Arcane Star prepared to cast their respective spells. Twilight closed her eyes and focused magic into her horn. She then focused on Arcane Star and began casting on him.

Transferring magical energy was a fairly common practice among unicorns. More often than not, a unicorn with relatively low-level magic would need to cast a spell requiring higher magical reserves than they have access to. It was often easier to just have a higher-level unicorn transfer a portion of their magical reserves to the caster rather than teaching them the spell. Teaching even a high level unicorn a new spell often took days for them to be able to perform decently.

After she felt enough of her magic reserves had been transferred to Arcane Star, Twilight opened her eyes and watched as the head researcher began to work his own magic. Twilight studied the way he worked his way through the data in the alien unit with his magic and changed it into magical energy. Twilight figured that she would probably be using the same spell herself in the coming days and decided she should start familiarizing herself with it.

After a few minutes, an ethereal mass of dark energy began to appear in the air above the table. A definite shape slowly began to form as Star continued casting the conversion spell. Twilight and the others looked on with a mix of intrigue and trepidation.

Soon the spell was complete, and floating above the table was a spectral image of a humanoid creature in armor very similar to that of the alien robot on the operating table. The ghostly thing floated silently, staring at Arcane Star and the six mares in the tent, an incredibly uncomfortable vibe filling the air. Looking at the specter, Twilight could feel something powerful emanating from it: **rage. Pure, concentrated anger.**

"Uh… greetings!" Arcane Star finally broke the ice, trying his best not to sound completely terrified. Twilight had to keep reminding herself that the incorporeal creature could not harm them. The **negative emotion** the thing was emitting with its mere presence was overpowering.

"We… f-found your ship. We mean you n-no harm." Star said slowly. The ponies all waited for the thing to give a response, but it continued to just float there, radiating **hate.** "Do you… understand us?"

Finally the creature gave a response. A deep, distorted voice gave a slow sinister chuckle, which seemed about to give way to a full-blown terrifying laugh… but the ghostly figure vanished before that happened. Very quickly and anticlimactically the **rage** that filled the air like a poison was completely gone, and the research tent was as normal as it was when the ponies first entered it.

"Huh. Is it… gone?" Applejack asked.

"I hope so… that was terrifying!" Fluttershy exclaimed, now huddled in the far corner across the tent.

"What? What happened? Where'd it go?" Arcane Star frantically began scanning the tent for any sign of the alien entity.

"It looks like it's gone." Twilight said, "I guess even as an M.I it couldn't survive on its own…"

"NO!" Star screamed, smashing a hoof down on the table.

"Don't be upset, Mr. Star. We gave it our all," Twilight put a reassuring hoof on the researcher's shoulder, "experiments don't always work out the way we'd like them to. That's just the nature of science."

Arcane Star gave a defeated sigh, "You're right Miss Sparkle. I'm sorry for getting upset." The unicorn stallion turned and made to leave the tent, "Let's call it a day. We can start taking a closer look at the ship tomorrow."

Arcane Star exited the tent and Twilight Sparkle made to do the same. Rarity went to coax Fluttershy out of her corner while Rainbow Dash started to follow Twilight.

"Anypony else hear that?" Pinkie asked.

"Hear what?" Rainbow asked, looking back at her pink friend.

"A very specific pattern of beeps and boops?"

Rainbow scrunched her face up in concentration as she listened for a moment. "Nope!" the rainbow-maned mare laughed and gave Pinkie a friendly nudge, "You're so random, Pinkie Pie!"

Rainbow Dash continued to chuckle as she made her way out of the research tent with Twilight Sparkle. Had she been paying more attention, the rainbow pegasus would have noticed that for once, Pinkie wasn't smiling at her when she said that.

As Twilight exited the tent and allowed herself a moment to relax after the admittedly tense few seconds inside, she found herself actually kind of disappointed that Arcane Star's spell hadn't worked. They could have learned so much from such an advanced race. She began to wonder if she'd ever get the chance to meet an alien.

She could only imagine how wise and noble they must be…

* * *

"ATTENTION TURD-BISCUITS! FRONT AND CENTER! DOUBLE-TIME!"

One would think that the loud, gruff southern voice of Red Team's Sarge yelling at the top of his lungs would be enough to mobilize an entire army. Instead, the only soldier to assemble before the sergeant in anything that resembled "double-time" was a man wearing maroon-red armor: Private Simmons: professional at brown-nosing.

The two reds were not waiting outside the round concrete slab that served as Red Base for very long, and were shortly joined by Private Donut. The flamboyant soldier in pink armor was late to assemble because he had decided to leisurely skip his way over rather than walk like a normal person. The last member of Red Team to arrive outside the small base was Private Grif. Red Team's resident slacker in orange armor was moving at a deliberately slow pace, stopping to stretch and groan loudly every few steps.

"Grif! Quit stalling! What part of 'double-time' don't you understand?" Sarge barked.

"Hey, it's not like I'm the only one who was late." Grif grumbled as he joined his teammates outside of Red Base at the end of the canyon. "Donut was late because he skipped all the way here. At least I was doing something productive, like stalling this no doubt stupid meeting."

"Ugh, I was not _skipping_ Grif. I was _frolicking_!" The appropriately pink soldier argued. "And yes: there's a difference! Frolicking requires more grace and tact. You have to know when to bound and when to leap!"

"Can it, Bambi!" Sarge ordered before clearing his throat. "Now, I'm sure you have all been wondering about the purpose of the special top-secret project that I've been working on…"

"I'm going to guess: it's something to kill the Blues." Grif stated in a deadpan voice.

"What? How did you know my super-secret plan?" Sarge then approached Grif and raised his shotgun to the snarky soldier's face. "Are you workin' with the Blues? WHAT ELSE DID YOU TELL THEM?"

"Nothing. I just know that everything you do is about killing the Blues!" Grif did not seem the slightest bit concerned about looking down the barrel of Sarge's shotgun. To say he was used to being on the receiving end of the sergeant's trademark weapon was an understatement.

"If Grif is a spy, I'd be more than happy to beat the information out of him, sir!" Simmons piped in, the maroon soldier jumping at the chance to both kiss up to Sarge and hurt Grif at the same time.

"It's okay Simmons, Grif probably doesn't even have the motivation to betray us… lazy bastard!" Sarge lowered his shotgun from Grif's face and stepped back to his position before the entire team. "Besides, killing the Blues is only half of my master plan."

"Really? What's the other half?" Grif asked.

"To kill you in the process."

"Oh. Of course."

"Well, I for one would never have thought that was your plan! You truly are a master of discretion, sir!" Coming from anyone else, those statements might have been rightfully construed as sarcastic, but there was nothing but sincerity in Simmons' words.

"Right as always, Simmons!" Sarge complimented before getting back to business. "Now, with the new vehicle that Lopez and I have been working on, we will most definitely have the upper hand on those no-good dirty Blues!"

"Wait, that's what you've been working on all this time? A new vehicle?" Simmons asked. "Correct me if I'm wrong sir, but didn't you just build a new vehicle a couple of days ago?"

The gathered red soldiers all looked to the side opposite the base, where a small, one man ATV sat alone and neglected.

"Ah yes, after some consideration I realized a crucial design flaw with the Mongoose: there's no massive gun turret like all normal vehicles have!" Sarge explained.

"I still can't believe you went with 'Mongoose.'" Grif grumbled, referring to the fact that he let Simmons name the new ATV.

"Fine, asshole. What would you have called it?" Simmons asked.

"I think it looks kinda like an ocelot."

"Uh… a what?"

"An ocelot! It's like a small cat!"

"Then why didn't you just fucking say 'cat' then? You don't always have to invent new animals you know!"

An exasperated sigh was the only response Grif gave.

"'The Cat' is a terrible name for a military vehicle!" Sarge stated, "A good vehicle name needs to inspire power! And fear of said power!"

"Which is why 'The Cat' would be the perfect name for that piece of junk!" Grif explained, "That ATV is about as useful in combat as an actual cat is as a pet!"

"Fine, if it's all the same to you, let's just stick with using fictional animals." Sarge patronized. "How about 'Unicorn?'"

"Ooh! I would be all for calling it 'the Unicorn'" Donut exclaimed.

"I know you would Donut. That's why I was bein' sarcastic!"

"So, what's this new vehicle you're working on sir?" Simmons asked, trying to bring the easily sidetracked team back on topic.

"I'm glad you asked that Simmons!" Sarge exclaimed as he turned to face a hill in the distance and turned on his radio. "Lopez! It's show an' tell time!"

On cue, the four Reds heard the sound of a car engine starting up and accelerating, and in a few short seconds, the vehicle in question crested the hill, drove down and skidded to a stop in front of the gathered red soldiers. The vehicle was an all-terrain jeep with no doors and a 360 degrees revolving gun turret on the back.

"Um… that's the Warthog." Grif stated.

"Nice work Lopez." Sarge said, ignoring Grif. "Though your entrance could've been more dramatic. You barely got any air comin' over that hill!"

What appeared to be a head wearing a brown helmet rolled out of the driver's seat of the jeep and landed upright on the ground in front of Sarge. This was Lopez: Red Team's very own robot head that spoke exclusively Spanish.

"No había suficiente momentum (There was not enough momentum)." Lopez stated. "Además, un monte no es un salto (Also, a hill is not a jump)."

"It's okay Lopez, jus' try harder next time!"

"Uh… how was Lopez driving the jeep?" Donut asked. For once, the pink-armored private had a point. Driving was typically pretty difficult without arms or legs.

"Estaba programado con una función que me permite controlar remotamente este vehículo (I was programed with a function that allows me to remotely control this vehicle)."

"I dunno. Robot magic?" Sarge shrugged.

"Puto."

"This is just the Warthog! We've had this jeep for years!" Grif exclaimed. Indeed, the M12-LRV or "Warthog" (alternatively, Puma) was Red Team's always-reliable vehicle of choice.

"While this is the very same jeep we've used over the years, allow me to direct your attention to one very special modification!" Sarge gestured with an arm to the Warthog's turret.

That's when the Reds all saw it: the chain gun that was the Warthog's primary weapon had been torn off and replaced by what appeared to be three rocket launchers held together by duct tape.

"You created a rocket gun?" Simmons asked, "Cool! But... does it really work?"

"Yeah, don't we need more… torque, or something?" Grif added.

"What are you talking about Grif? We have plenty of torque!" Donut exclaimed cheerfully, "Why just the other day I was torqueing my heart out!"

"No Donut. What you were doing is called _twerking_." Simmons groaned. "And for the love of God, don't ever do it again!"

"I've tested this bad girl out and everything works perfectly," Sarge said with plenty of pride in his tone, "I even set it to fire in bursts of three rockets!"

"What about reload time, sir?" Simmons asked.

"Well, each rocket launcher only holds two rockets, so you'd only be able to fire two bursts of three rockets before having to reload all of them!"

"You have to reload _all_ of the rocket launchers? As in, one at a time?" Grif asked.

"Is that a problem?" Sarge asked nonchalantly.

"Think of it this way Sarge: the old Warthog gun could fire hundreds of bullets without reloading… somehow. This new one can only fire two bursts of three shots for a total of six and then has to take at least a minute to reload." Simmons explained.

"I'm well aware that there's a slight difference in reload time, but I think the increased firepower's a good trade off!"

"_Slight_ difference? The person using the gun could be killed before even being halfway done reloading!" Grif exclaimed.

"That's exactly why I've decided when we attack the Blues that _you're_ going to operate the gun and Simmons here will drive the Warthog!"

"_What?_" Grif then sighed. And here he thought Sarge finally had a plan that _didn't_ involve him needlessly being put in danger of dying.

"Ooh! Sarge! Can I drive the Unicorn?" Donut asked.

"I don't see how it'll help, but sure!"

"Yes!"

"We attack the Blues at 1800 hours today!" Sarge declared, "Any final thoughts?"

"Just one: that changing the Warthog gun was a mistake!" Grif said. "Here's my policy: if something seems to be working just fine the way it is, _don't fuck with it!_"

* * *

The interior of the crashed ship was even darker and more menacing with the absence of daylight. Regardless, Twilight Sparkle bravely pressed on into the darkness. Again she felt the presence of something unseen watching her and with the added ominousness of the darkness of night and the fact that she was alone, it was almost enough to get her to run back to her tent and dive under her covers. Unfortunately, Twilight knew that once she got there, she would only continue to toss and turn in the absence of sleep.

Twilight had spent a good three hours in the comfortable bed in the tent that was made for her and Spike, but for the life of her she could not fall asleep. Twilight could not stop thinking about the events of the previous day: the experiment with the alien intelligence unit in the main research tent, but mostly the ship itself. For some inexplicable reason her thoughts kept going back to the main computer and the mysterious white helmet that was connected to it. Twilight couldn't be idle with the desire to know more about that enigma prevalent in her mind.

So she had gotten out of bed (careful not to wake Spike in his basket) and had made her way down to the ship. Reaching the main computer with the strange helmet attached, Twilight allowed herself to forget her discomfort in the alien environment as she once again immersed herself in the realm of scientific discovery. She started by picking up the helmet in question. After taking a few seconds to realize it wasn't going to explode in her hooves, Twilight studied it closely.

Her first once-over with the alien headgear proved fruitless. She remembered that Arcane Star had said that they had taken the alien intelligence chip out of a slot in the back of the black-armored alien's helmet. Checking the back of the white helmet currently in her hooves, Twilight got excited upon finding a slot where a similar chip would fit, but was disappointed when she realized it was empty. Running out of ideas, Twilight tried putting the helmet on her own head, but quickly gave up when she couldn't get it to fit past her snout.

Setting the white helmet down, Twilight turned her attention to the computer it was wired to. Once again her attention immediately went to the two sets of numbers on screen. This time however something clicked in the unicorn's brain and suddenly she realized what the numbers were.

"They're coordinates…" Twilight muttered out loud. Two sets of them: a destination and a point of origin. So this was the ship's navigational computer. Now she was getting somewhere!

Or so she thought. Upon further evaluation, Twilight realized this still didn't explain why it was connected to the helmet. The purple mare then thought of an idea. Thinking back to the conversion experiment with the A.I, Twilight carefully recalled the way Arcane Star used his magic on the alien robot's brain before charging up her own horn to perform the spell herself.

After a few moments, Twilight fired a burst of magical energy at the computer and was met with success when she felt her magic coursing through the alien machine.

"Yes!" She silently cheered. For reasons unknown to even her, Twilight was always adept at learning new spells more quickly than any other living unicorn she knew of. Most unicorns couldn't even learn more than a few spells at all. Recently, Twilight chalked it up to being the bearer of the Element of Magic. Regardless, Twilight still wasn't sure that she could convert any of this digital data to magical energy the way Arcane Star had done, but she didn't need to. She was just going to take a look around.

Twilight began making her way through the digital information of the ship's navigational computer. The feeling was kind of strange, like simultaneously existing in two places at once. She could actually feel her conscious mind moving through the streams of data as if swimming through a river while at the same time she could still feel the cold metal floor of the ship under her hooves.

After about a minute of exploring the digital world of the computer and finding nothing of note, Twilight came across a section of the digital data that was for lack of a better description: blocked off. It was as if the aliens had put up some digital equivalent to a barrier enchantment around something in this computer. After mulling over what this could mean for a moment, Twilight decided that whatever the aliens were trying to protect would be worth checking out.

She started dismantling the digital barrier that the various lines of data seemed to indicate was called a "firewall." After a few moments of taking apart the various lines of code making up the firewall, Twilight had made a decently sized hole. It was then that… _something_ came out. A complex set of data separate from the rest of the computer. Twilight quickly realized that whatever it was, it was alive: it moved through the streams of data with a purpose.

It was then that it occurred to Twilight just what it was: another alien intelligence like the one in the research tent. She then realized that this was the reason she could never shake this foreboding feeling like she was being watched whenever she was on the ship: the alien construct _was_ watching her!

The A.I for the most part ignored Twilight's presence in the computer, spreading its own code to the various systems. Twilight allowed herself to relax once she realized the thing probably didn't mean her any harm. Right now the A.I seemed to be checking the various systems in the computer to make sure it was all working. Twilight was just about to get back to what she was doing when she remembered that what she was doing was finding out what was behind that firewall.

Was that it? Was the A.I the only thing behind the digital barrier? Why would something that was apparently so crucial in maintaining the ship's systems be locked away like that?

That's when it hit her: the firewall wasn't there to keep nosy ponies like her out. It was to keep the alien entity _in_.

Twilight frantically searched the digital space to see what the A.I was doing. While the A.I's code was spread throughout the computer performing routine system maintenance, the digital entity itself was moving towards the wires connecting the computer to the white helmet!

Twilight panicked when she realized the A.I had deceived her. There was something about that helmet the A.I knew about. Twilight tried to chase it with her magic, but it was already too late. The A.I accessed something in the helmet. Whatever it was, it was an incredibly powerful piece of technology: something beyond standard even for an advanced race such as this. The A.I then targeted something outside the computer with it. Twilight investigated to see what it was targeting and her eyes widened.

It was targeting her.

Twilight severed her magical connection to the computer and turned in an attempt to get out of there, but the A.I activated the device in the helmet. Twilight suddenly felt disorientation begin to set in and a wave of nausea begin to wash over her. She recognized this sensation: it was how she felt the first time she ever used her teleportation spell.

Just before all of her senses shut down, Twilight saw that she wasn't alone in the ship. The last thing she saw before succumbing to the blackness were the two green serpentine eyes of her number one assistant wide with fear.

* * *

Wherever Twilight appeared next was incredibly windy. The nausea, dizziness and general disorientation that came with a poorly executed teleport spell were all there. Additionally, Twilight felt an intense tingling sensation in her stomach. That was new.

Opening her eyes and getting herself reoriented, Twilight discovered the reason for the wind and the sensation of butterflies in her stomach. She had appeared a fair distance up in the sky and was now falling towards the ground. Twilight tried not to panic as the ground rushed closer and closer. She remembered reading a section of a book once on how to survive falling from a great height. If she rolled right at the moment of impact…

She hit the ground dead on, sprawled out like a star. Adrenaline was still rushing through her aching body as she lay there, which caused her to perform a delayed, pathetic little roll. Twilight decided that the next time she fell from a great height she would roll a lot sooner.

"Oww…" Twilight groaned. Her legs and stomach in intense pain now that the adrenaline was wearing off and her breaths coming in pained gasps from having the wind knocked out of her.

With a painful grunt, the purple mare pulled herself to her hooves. All four of her legs were throbbing, but the moment she put weight on her right foreleg sharp pain shot through the entire appendage. Twilight winced and shifted her weight off of the troublesome leg. She could only hope that it wasn't broken.

Now that she had more or less pulled herself together, Twilight took a moment to observe her surroundings. She was in the center of a canyon that wasn't very big. There wasn't much to look at either. Some trees here, a rock there. Twilight saw a small, round, single story building on one end of the canyon and started limping in that direction, hoping there would be ponies there that could help her.

As she hobbled along for a few minutes, Twilight became suddenly aware that it was daytime. Or rather, she remembered that it was _not_ daytime when she was teleported here by… just what happened to her anyways? Regardless, the fact that it was daytime _now_ could only mean one of a few things.

A) There was a significant time delay between when Twilight disappeared and when she reappeared. B) Twilight had been transported to a part of the planet where the sun was still up. Or C) …

A loud bang and something whooshing by her right ear interrupted Twilight's train of thought. She didn't know what was going on, but a sound that loud was never a good sign, so with a yelp, Twilight dove for cover behind a nearby rock to her left. Her probably broken foreleg made its dislike for that action known.

Once she stopped panicking and her breathing returned to normal, Twilight tried to figure out what exactly had just happened. Looking at where she had been standing when the loud noise had occurred, Twilight could see a small, smoking hole in the ground a few feet away. It wasn't much bigger than the tip of her horn, but the fact there was small amounts of smoke coming out of it indicated that a heavily concentrated magical attack or high-powered projectile had barely missed her.

"Uh… All right! That was your one warning shot! Come any closer and the next one's going between your eyes!" A loud and somewhat nasally voice called out from the distance.

Realizing the source of the voice was at the building she had been approaching, Twilight carefully poked her head out from behind her boulder to take a look at who was yelling at her. Twilight gasped loudly at what she saw. Standing on top of the concrete structure a fair distance away was a bipedal creature wearing cobalt armor: the same kind of armor that the alien recovered from the ship had been wearing!

… Or C) She had been transported to another world entirely!

The cobalt alien stared at her through a scope mounted on some sort of long metal stick. This didn't last long, as he slowly lowered the long object in bewilderment, continuing to stare at the purple pony partially hiding behind a large rock.

"What. The fuck. _Is that?_"


	2. Act 1 Part 2 - Blood Gulch Blues

Arcane Star abruptly awoke in his tent as something or someone unceremoniously burst through the entrance and fell on him. After the initial disorientation of having been dead asleep mere seconds ago wore off, the unicorn scientist looked around. The darkness outside the open flap of his tent indicated it was still the middle of the night or very early in the morning, but his more immediate concern was the tent's intruder: a small, purple, scaly, lizard like creature. The presence of such a thing in the tent where he slept would have caused Arcane Star quite a bit of panic if said creature hadn't been frantically rambling at a mile a minute.

"QuickquickyougottahelpmeTwilightwasgoneandIwenttogoseewhereshewentandshewasattheshipandshewasmessingwiththecomputerandthehelmetandsuddenlysomethinghappenedandIdon'tknowwheresheisandshemightbehurtand…"

As the little guy continued in that fashion, Arcane Star remembered the small reptile as Ms. Twilight Sparkle's baby dragon assistant named… Sharp? Prick? He couldn't quite remember.

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down little guy. Take a breath." Arcane Star said gently. The baby dragon stopped his frantic rant and took a single slow breath. "Now, tell me what happened. Slowly."

Arcane Star noticed the poor kid had tears in his eyes as he answered. "Twilight's gone!"

"Okay… Define 'gone.'"

I Against I, Me Against You

Act 1 Part 2 - Blood Gulch Blues

The bleak box canyon remained still and silent as the cobalt soldier and purple pony stared at each other in bewilderment from their respective spots on top of the base and down on the ground. Once Twilight Sparkle had gotten over her initial shock at seeing a living humanoid alien in the flesh (assuming of course, that it even had flesh), she realized that she could understand the admittedly vulgar words it had just uttered. She wasn't sure how it was possible that an alien being from another planet spoke the same language commonly spoken across Equestria, but decided that it didn't matter. If she was able to understand it, then logic dictated that it should be able to understand her.

"Um… hello?" It took all of Twilight Sparkle's resolve to project her voice loud enough for it to reach the armored creature standing on top of the small concrete structure, "can you understand me?"

"What the fuck? It _talks_?" Was the thing's unelegant reply. This was certainly not how Twilight expected first contact with an alien race would go, but regardless the little unicorn pushed onward.

"Yes, and I need help!" Twilight took another step forward on her good leg, but this only caused the cobalt alien to raise the long metal pole in his hands at her again.

"Hey! Not another step closer! I mean it! I _will_ use this sniper rifle!"

"Yeah! You'd better do what Church says, or else he might shoot the air around you!" Another voice called out, as a second alien wearing teal armor (or was it cyan? Twilight couldn't really tell) appeared beside the cobalt one."

"Hey, shut up! Nobody asked for your input!" The cobalt soldier apparently called "Church" turned to face his companion.

The teal/cyan soldier however, looked right past Church at the small unicorn on the ground below. "Wait, what the Hell _is_ that?"

"How the fuck would I know, dude?"

"My name is Twilight Sparkle! I'm pretty sure I'm not on my planet anymore and I think my leg is broken! Can you lend me some assistance? Please?"

Church returned to pointing his weapon at Twilight. "An alien, huh? Well, guess what? This is a secure military facility and we're not exactly on good terms with the aliens right now, so BEAT IT!"

Twilight gave the cobalt alien a skeptical stare. The building sure looked small for a military facility, and the soldiers operating it definitely weren't displaying proper military decorum, at least as far as she knew from what her brother had told her about his time in the Royal Guard. Regardless, these people appeared to be the only ones in this box canyon that could help her.

"Please! If you help me now, I'll consider it an act of goodwill between our two societies!" Twilight gave her best diplomatic smile.

The teal and cobalt aliens turned to each other and silently (but not indiscriminately) discussed the various pros and cons of helping a small, purple alien horse. Eventually, Church turned back to face Twilight Sparkle.

"Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and interpret that as: 'you're going to give us cool alien shit if we help you.' So here's what's gonna happen: we're going to bring you into our base and have our medic take a look at your leg…"

"Wait, are you sure that's a good idea?" The cyan one asked.

"Are you sure that I _care_?" Was Church's reply before turning back to address Twilight. "After that... we'll see."

"Okay!" Twilight called out. It didn't sound particularly promising, but it was a start.

"Just wait there. We're sending a man to, uh… escort you!" With that, Church and his companion disappeared from view.

Twilight sat on the ground and waited, keeping weight off of her throbbing right foreleg. Despite the fact that she was lost and wounded in an unfamiliar world, a sense of excitement rose up inside her at the idea of talking to real, living aliens. She remembered spending countless nights as a filly staring up at the night sky through her father's telescope, absolutely enamored with the idea of life beyond the stars. Even well into adulthood, Twilight would dream of meeting and maybe even befriending an alien being.

She couldn't quite hide the giddy smile on her face as she watched the small concrete structure, waiting for the alien ambassador that… 'Church' person had said would be coming. A few minutes passed though, and Twilight's grin of anticipation began to disappear as no movement came from the small alien structure. Right when she was about to wonder if she should just walk up there herself, she heard footsteps behind her.

"Hello!" A pleasant, high-pitched and generally goofy voice greeted from directly behind her. Twilight yelped in surprise and whirled around. She found herself looking up at another armored biped. This one was wearing ordinary blue armor and was holding a smaller, yet similar weapon to the one Church had.

"I am Caboose!"

Twilight rapidly shook her head to clear it of the shock at being surprised by a large alien. "Wha… how did you get behind me?"

"The same way I go in front of people: I walked!" The blue soldier's funny, child-like voice and casual disregard for logic reminded Twilight of Pinkie Pie.

The thought of her hyperactive pink friend suddenly made Twilight forget about the excitement of meeting aliens as she thought of her friends back home. As she and the blue alien that introduced himself as Caboose began to make their way towards the base, Twilight hoped she would find a way back to Equestria soon. Twilight could only imagine how worried they'd all be when they found out she was gone.

* * *

Spike anxiously shifted his weight between each foot as he stood outside Dodge City's main Inn in the light of the early morning sun. The baby dragon kept glancing over to Rarity and the other four mares beside him, afraid if he took his eyes off of them for too long they would disappear too.

As soon as Spike told the head researcher at the crash site what had happened to Twilight, the unicorn stallion wasted no time in getting a message to Canterlot requesting a sky chariot be sent to take Spike and the rest of Twilight's friends to the capital posthaste. It was times like this that Spike was glad he had his own endless supply of dragonfire for instantaneous communication.

After sending out the message, Spike immediately ran into town to the Inn to rouse the rest of Twilight's friends and let them know what happened. Rarity and Fluttershy had both wasted no time in smothering the little dragon with sympathetic affection as soon as they learned of the situation. Even now, Spike didn't miss the occasional concerned glances the mares sent his way. He also didn't miss just how uneasy they all looked as well. Nopony had said a word since they lined up outside the Inn to await the sky chariot's arrival.

Even Pinkie Pie was acting more subdued than what was normal for her. On top of that, Spike noticed the pink mare's ears perk up on more than one occasion. Occasionally, she would look around in every direction. Spike wasn't sure what she was looking for, or who she was muttering to under her breath.

Soon, the central street of Dodge City began getting more active as ponies stepped out of their homes and shops started to open.

"Ah! There you are!" Twilight's friends all turned at the sound of the voice and saw Arcane Star briskly trotting towards them, "I was afraid for a moment that you'd already be gone!"

Without the white lab coat the tan stallion ordinarily wore, his cutie mark consisting of a constellation of stars partially obscured by a lens was visible. He gave a sympathetic look in Spike's direction as he finished his approach.

"Hello, Prick! How are you holding up?"

Spike gave Arcane Star a quizzical look, "fine, I guess. What did you just call me?"

"Any word on Twilight, Mr. Star?" Rarity asked. She either failed to notice Spike and Arcane Star's exchange or chose to ignore it.

The hopeful look on Rarity's face only caused Arcane Star to frown and look away, "No, but my ponies are working hard to find something, anything about the whereabouts of your friend."

The unicorn stallion returned his gaze to Rarity and the others to give them a sincere look, "I just wanted to come by and give you all my deepest sympathies. I… can't help but feel a little responsible for Ms. Sparkle's current predicament, and…"

"Oh, nonsense darling!"

Applejack stepped up beside Rarity, "Ain't no way you or the Princess coulda known what would happen. And blamin' yerself ain't helping Twilight none, either!"

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash both nodded their agreements.

"Besides, it was Twilight's own stupid decision to go poking around in that alien ship all by herself anyways," Spike said glumly.

Arcane Star gave a solemn nod, "Yes, I suppose Ms. Sparkle and I are kindred spirits in that regard. I've always been enamored with the idea of space and extraterrestrial life ever since I got my cutie mark…"

"HEY! It's you again!" A high pitched squeal interrupted the ponies' conversation. The group looked over to the source of the noise to see a small filly running up to them.

The light blue, blonde-maned foal immediately approached Pinkie Pie. The ponies all recognized her as the same filly that had so meticulously greeted each of them when they got off the train the other day.

"Can we play the 'gobble me up' game again?" The little filly asked Pinkie with an irresistible look on her face.

"Hey, Bright Side! What have I told you about bothering strangers?" A mare's voice scolded.

A mare with a white coat and a blonde mane adorned in the golden armor of the Royal Guard approached the gathered ponies after the tiny blue filly.

"Oh! Hello, Sunny Side!" Arcane Star greeted the guard mare.

"Hey, I didn't see you there Arcane Star!" Sunny smiled at the unicorn researcher before turning to address the rest of the group, "I'm sorry if my little sister's been bothering you!"

"She's not a bother at all! In fact we were just about to play our game!" Pinkie Pie happily exclaimed. Suddenly, something changed about the pink mare's demeanor. The happy, playful look on her face changed to a far more unsettling one. Her brows lowered to partially conceal her eyes and her formerly happy smile became far more sinister.

"Yes… 'gobble you up,' was it? I'll gobble you up **once I've chopped your body into a dozen pieces and baked those pieces into a whole new flavor of pie: OBLIVION FLAVOR! AAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"**

The silence that followed could very well have become a tangible object. All of the townsfolk within earshot seemed to stop what they were doing to stare in the direction of the pink pony and those in her company.

"Wow… that was weird even for you, Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash said, staring blankly at her friend as Fluttershy took a few nervous steps back.

For her part, Pinkie no longer had a maniacal look on her face. Instead, she looked around frantically with the expression of someone lost and confused.

"... Okay! I think it's time to get you to school!" Sunny put a hoof around her sister and swiftly pulled the deathly quiet filly away from Pinkie. "See you at the crash site, Arcane Star."

Arcane Star simply nodded as Sunny and her little sister passed. After a few more awkwardly silent moments passed before life entered the town again and an air of normalcy resumed. Arcane Star gave a quick shake of his head.

"Right… like I was saying, don't worry too much about Ms. Twilight Sparkle," Arcane Star said as Spike looked off into the distance. He could see the distant shape of the sky chariot from Canterlot growing bigger over the horizon.

"I'm sure that wherever she is, she's dealing with her situation in a manner befitting her intelligence…"

* * *

The box canyon was no more scenic from on top of Blue Base then it was anywhere else. From her slightly elevated position on top of the round concrete structure, Twilight Sparkle thought she could see an identical base way on the other side of the canyon. Apart from that, the canyon was nothing but grass, dirt, rocks and the occasional tree.

The base itself was not much to look at either. Gray concrete made up the roof Twilight and the armored bipeds stood on. A large square hole occupied the center of the roof where Twilight could see down into the base proper. The room below was nothing but more gray walls and a gray floor. She could only imagine what Rarity would say, were she here.

Twilight drew her attention away from her incredibly dull surroundings as Church walked up one of the ramps to the roof where she waited with the cyan armored alien and the one in blue armor that escorted her here (Caboose, if she remembered correctly). Twilight suppressed a squee: this was it! She was going to have her first official meeting with the aliens! Twilight then noticed another alien soldier was with Church. This one was wearing purple armor and had a red cross insignia on his shoulder pads. Instead of carrying a weapon similar to the ones the others always carried around, this one had a small, blue, metal object that slightly resembled a "C."

"Okay, Twilight... Sparkle was it?" Church asked with clear trepidation in his voice. Twilight nodded in affirmation.

"And I thought Caboose was a dumb name…" Twilight just pretended she hadn't heard what the cyan alien muttered, and apparently so did Caboose as the blue soldier gave no response.

"This is our medic: Doc." Church gestured to the purple armored soldier.

"Hi there!" Doc greeted in an incredibly friendly voice that greatly clashed with Church's harsh, unfriendly tone.

"While Doc's looking at your leg, I wanna ask you some questions."

Doc raised the small metal device at Twilight Sparkle and the end of it started to glow a bright green.

"What's that?" Twilight asked, averting her eyes from the bright green ball of light.

"This is my all-purpose medical scanner! I'm just taking an X-ray so I can see what the problem is." Doc explained.

"X-rays? Should I be worried about radiation?"

"Nah, don't worry! This thing hasn't given any of my patients cancer for almost a year!"

Twilight gave an uneasy blink.

"So I guess we should proceed with introductions." Church cleared his throat. "I am Commander Leonard Church. I'm the leader."

"What? Don't listen to him, Twilight. He's not a Commander. He's just the guy who decided he was the leader after our actual leader died!" The cyan soldier explained.

"Right, and our resident lady-killer over here is Tucker." Church introduced, moving his head in the cyan soldier's direction.

"Wassup?" Tucker cooly greeted.

Twilight missed the note of sarcasm in Church's voice and stared at Tucker uneasily. "You… kill ladies?"

"No, don't be stupid! I don't kill ladies..." Twilight sighed in relief, realizing with a bit of embarrassment that the term "lady-killer" wasn't literal. "Unless if by 'kill them' you mean give them screaming org…"

"AND you've already met Caboose, our resident team-killer." Twilight noticed Church was very quick to cut off whatever Tucker was going to say next.

"Well it's very nice to meet yo- HEY!" Caboose however was very quick to cut off himself, "that time with the tank was an accident!"

"Yeah, letting you drive the tank was the biggest accident of my career…" Church said before turning back to address Twilight. "Together we make up Blue Team. Okay, you've met us. Now who, or what are _you_?"

"Well, I'm a unicorn pony from the nation of Equestria, and…"

"Wait, did I just hear the word _unicorn_?" Tucker asked in disbelief. "As in the fairy tale creatures that chicks love? Twilight, you'd make an awesome wingman! I am _so_ taking you with me the next time I go to a club!"

"So, are we the first humans you've made contact with?" Church asked.

So they were called humans. "Yep! I'm pretty sure this is the first time our two species have even _met_!" Twilight exclaimed, almost swooning at the thought of being the first pony to make contact with an alien race. Even if the aliens themselves were turning out to be a little… blunt for her tastes.

"Great. Just great. So we just made contact with a new alien race and the first thing you did was shoot at it." Tucker said, shaking his head at Church. "Nice one Church. Way to represent humanity."

"Tucker as I recall, your method of first contact with the last alien we met was to _have sex_ with it!" Church pointed out.

"_WHAT_?" Twilight's tail instinctively hugged the space between her legs.

"That was _one time!_ And he came on to me okay!" Tucker said defensively. "Bastard left as soon as he found out I was pregnant! Hasn't even sent me one Goddamn support check!"

Now Twilight was just confused. She assumed that Tucker was a male based on his voice. Did the males of this species carry their young, like seaponies?

"Hey guys, I'm done my scan of Twilight's bones." Doc said, lowering his scanner. The bright green glow disappeared almost immediately. Twilight did her best to forget the confusing and disturbing conversation on the topic of xenophilia and focused her attention on Doc.

"I have the X-rays loaded up on my HUD now and good news: it looks like the bone isn't broken! It's just dislocated! All I have to do is pop it back into place!"

Twilight sighed in relief. She wasn't looking forward to having to find a way back to Equestria with a broken leg. Doc knelt down beside her and took her left foreleg in his hand, which was weird because…

"Okay, this is going to hurt a bit but don't worry: I'm a professional." Doc said.

"Uh, Doc? That's not…" Before Twilight could finish, a terrible snapping noise accompanied by sharp pain shooting through her left foreleg caused her to cry out in pain. "OW! THE RIGHT LEG! THE RIGHT LEG IS DISLOCATED NOT THE LEFT ONE!"

"Oh… whoops." Doc said sheepishly.

"_WHOOPS?_"

"Goddamn, dude. You're like the fucking angel of death!" Tucker said to Doc, "Maybe you should look into a new line of work."

"Hey! It's not my fault I don't know the biology of an alien species literally just discovered a few minutes ago!" Doc argued.

"It's not like you needed to measure my metabolism or something! YOU JUST HAD TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LEFT AND RIGHT!" Twilight bit her lip, forcing back the anger that came with her idiocy induced agony. Like it or not, Twilight was Equestria's sole ambassador to this new world. Even if she was in immense pain with _two_ dislocated limbs and her hosts have been less than hospitable so far, Twilight was determined to be the better mare.

"You know what? It's okay. If it's just dislocated I can probably fix it myself. I know a few basic healing spells." Twilight then closed her eyes and concentrated.

Focusing on the two dislocated limbs, Twilight poured magical energy into them and with another unnerving snap, popped her left foreleg back into place. She then did the same with the other leg. When she opened her eyes again, she found that the four humans were all staring at her.

"Oh. My. God. THAT WAS AWESOME! YOU'RE LIKE A LIGHT SHOW!" Caboose exclaimed louder than he needed to. "Oh! Now I know why Tucker wanted to take you to a club! Can you play music also? Can you play the one that goes 'bum bum-bop boop bip beep boop bum bop hip be-boop boop beep bebop bip…'"

"What the fuck did you just do?" Church asked, while Caboose continued singing a tuneless, wordless song.

"You mean my magic?" Twilight asked, realizing for the first time that they did not appear to have anything like it, "as a unicorn, I can manipulate the inherent magical energy in the air and transduce it into usable spells with my horn."

"Really? Neat!" Doc exclaimed, stepping closer to examine Twilight's horn. The purple armored medic tentatively reached out with a hand and touched the purple pony's horn.

Twilight recoiled and raised a hoof in front of her magic wielding appendage. "Hey! Don't touch my horn! It's sensitive!"

"Hey, I have a sensitive horn too! But you won't see me complaining if you touch it! Bow chicka bow wow!" Tucker completed his lewd statement with an equally lewd hand gesture to his crotch, making Twilight shift nervously again. Tucker definitely made her the most uncomfortable out of all of them.

"Really Tucker? Not even multicolored alien ponies are safe from your depravity?" Doc asked.

Tucker hesitated, "okay, I may be into a lot of kinky shit, but I _do_ draw the line at beastiality. That being said, you can't expect me to just ignore a setup like that!"

Twilight glared at Tucker. "Beastiality?" Did they think of her as an animal?

"_MAGIC? SERIOUSLY?_ You couldn't even come up with something like... I don't know, genetically developed telekinesis? Or the Force? _Magic?_" Church yelled. With a sigh, the cobalt soldier calmed down. "You know what? Fuck it. I've seen weirder things, I guess."

"Alright, what now?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, what now Church? Can we keep George? Pleeeeeease?" Caboose begged.

"George?" Of all the stupid pet names that Caboose could have come up with, Twilight thought something like "Sparky" or something would have made more sense.

"I promise I'll take good care of her! I'll feed her and take her on walks and let her outside and play fetch and give belly rubs…"

"I'm pretty sure she has a home planet she needs to get back to," Church said, "but I guess she can stay here for now…"

"Yes! This is going to be awesome!" Caboose exclaimed, lifting a very surprised Twilight Sparkle off the ground and giving her a tight hug. "Come on, George! I'm going to show you my room and the tank and the flag…"

Twilight heard Church give a drawn out sigh as Caboose carried her off toward one of the ramps leading down to the ground. Twilight made a similar sound. She found solace in the fact that nopony else from Equestria was around to see Princess Celestia's prized student being carried around like a big stuffed toy.

* * *

The shining, decadent halls of Canterlot Castle resonated with distant, shouting voices. Spike and the five mares followed an armored pony through the bright halls towards the throne room, trying to make out the words being shouted. They exchanged uneasy looks as they approached the large double doors to the throne room. Each of them recognized the sounds as that of the Royal Canterlot Voice, courtesy of Princess Luna.

"_PERHAPS IF YOU WEREN'T KEEPING INFORMATION FROM US WE WOULD NOT HAVE NEEDED…_"

_"THAT DOES NOT JUSTIFY YOU SENDING _MY_ STUDENT ON AN ASSIGNMENT BEHIND MY BACK, SISTER!_" The ponies were surprised when they recognized the second booming voice as Princess Celestia's.

The guard escorting dragon and five ponies threw open the doors and stepped into the throne room, bowing low before addressing the Princesses. Both Royal Pony Sisters were standing at the foot of the throne, inches apart. They were glaring daggers into each other's eyes.

"Your majesty, the element bearers as requested," the guard proclaimed.

Princess Celestia's gaze left her sister and nodded in the direction of the doors. The guard rose and stood aside for Twilight's friends to enter. They were so shocked at the sight of Equestria's rulers engaged in a shouting match that they almost forgot to bow… almost.

"How many times must I tell you all that is not necessary?" Celestia asked, approaching the five mares and Spike with a warm smile. The furious princess they had just seen completely gone.

"At least once more, your majesty," Rarity said, rising to her hooves with the others nevertheless.

Princess Luna chose this moment to show herself the doors, briskly walking past the five ponies without so much as a glance. She firmly slammed the doors behind her.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that. My sister and I are merely having a… disagreement," Celestia said.

"A pretty loud disagreement…" Rainbow Dash muttered, clearing one of her ears with a hoof.

"As glad as I am to see you princess, I'm a little confused. We all thought you were out of the country," Applejack said.

"Is that what _Luna_ told you?" Celestia's serene image faltered slightly, traces of a bitter edge entering her tone. Celestia must have noticed the uncertain looks her subjects were giving her, as she quickly rectified her regal composure.

"Do not worry about my sister and I. We'll be just fine," The pure white alicorn briefly looked away and spoke in a more somber tone, "It's not as if this is the worst fight we've had…"

The rest of the ponies in the room nodded. They didn't need the princess to elaborate anymore on _that_ particular point.

"Now, Spike. According to Arcane Star's message, you witnessed Twilight Sparkle disappear," Princess Celestia continued, "can you elaborate in as much detail as you can on what exactly happened?"

Spike looked up at Celestia with uncertainty filling his features. He had trouble finding his words when he opened his mouth, but a gentle smile from the princess urged him forwards.

"Well, um, I woke up in the middle of the night because Twilight got up and left the tent. I thought she was just going to the bathroom or something so I didn't think much of it, but after a while she didn't come back and… I was kinda getting nervous all by myself with that creepy ship so close by, so I got up and tried to find her. I checked every part of the camp she might've been at, but couldn't find her. That's when I thought to check the alien ship. When I peeked inside, I saw a faint purple glow coming from the other end and sure enough, when I went all the way in there she was casting some kind of spell on one of the computers in there…"

"Which one?" Celestia interrupted.

"The big central one that had the weird helmet plugged into it," Spike said. Celestia nodded, urging him to continue, "anyway, I tried talking to her and calling out to her but she didn't hear me. She just kept staring straight at the computer, casting whatever spell she was casting like she was in a trance. Then suddenly, she gasped and whirled around to run away from the computer. She looked at me and then she was just… gone." His voice broke significantly on that final word.

Celestia leaned her head back, "I see…"

"Any idea what it all means, Princess?" Applejack asked.

"It would appear that Twilight Sparkle found the device the alien ship uses to move through the stars as efficiently as it does. I'm not sure how she activated it or why it worked on her, but the most plausible scenario is that the ship's device teleported her… somewhere."

"Right, and it's the 'somewhere' part we need to know!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed flapping her wings so that she was hovering a bit above the floor, "If Twilight's been teleported, we just have to search all of Equestria until we find her! I'll start at the Crystal Empire and work my way down! I'll have Twilight back in no time at all!"

Rainbow Dash then made to fly out one of the windows to start her search, but a certain farm pony clamping down on her tail kept the pegasus from getting very far.

"I admire your enthusiasm Rainbow Dash, but even if you could search all of Equestria by yourself, I do not think it would help," Celestia sighed, "What you have to remember, is that that ship is _not from Equestria_."

The ponies were silent.

"Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, Princess. But, it almost sounds like you're implying that Twilight is no longer in Equestria!" Rarity wasn't quite able to keep her voice from trembling as she spoke.

"Yes, I fear that Twilight may have ended up at the ship's point of origin," Celestia said grimly, "In other words: another world entirely."

Again the ponies were at a loss for words. The silence was broken by the sound of a small, soft voice.

"So, um… is there anything we can do to help her?" Fluttershy asked quietly, but with the energy of a concerned friend.

Celestia sighed and shook her head, "I'm afraid there's nothing you can do but let the research team in Dodge City try to figure out how the alien device works. I'm sorry, I know how much you all want to help your friend, but I think the best thing for you all to do now is to return to Ponyville."

Celestia looked at the six pained faces before her with genuine sympathy. If there was one thing about her job that she hated, it was giving her beloved subjects bad news.

"I instructed Arcane Star to keep me updated on his progress and I promise to send you any relevant information but that's it. I don't want to risk losing any more of you."

With that, the five mares and baby dragon said their thanks and farewells to the Princess and began the silent trip out of the castle. It was then that Spike noticed the usually rambunctious Pinkie Pie hadn't said a word the entire time. However, Spike wasn't as concerned with Pinkie's odd behavior as he was with the fact that Twilight was lost on an alien planet. He wondered if she had met any aliens and more importantly, if they were friendly.

* * *

It only took Caboose a few minutes to give Twilight the full tour of Blue Base. He started by showing her the tank parked outside a few feet from the base. The admittedly large impressive metal contraption was apparently a vehicle equipped with a massive cannon on top. According to Caboose though, the tank wasn't in full working order. He seemed to go to great lengths to deny he had anything to do with the tank's current broken state.

It was after Caboose brought Twilight inside the base proper that she was saved by the timely appearance of Church and Tucker, who got Caboose to let her go with promises of chocolate. Twilight then asked about the blue flag with the emblem of a hawk and two crossed swords emblazoned across it, and Church struggled to explain why their army's victory depended on protecting that flag.

Next, Twilight asked about the high-powered projectile weapons they all carried. Each of these "guns" appeared to be designed for different tactical situations, such as Church's long range sniper rifle. Tucker then showed her his energy sword: a small device that emitted dual-pronged beams of plasma and light that Twilight admitted was actually a pretty impressive piece of technology. Though, she was confused about why Tucker said "bow chicka bow wow" when she complimented his sword, but had a feeling she probably didn't want to know.

It was then that another soldier came stumbling out of another room in the base. This one was wearing yellow armor and wasn't carrying a weapon.

"Oh man… I was asleep for like, fifteen hours. Must have been one killer party!" The yellow armored person said. She was definitely female and spoke in a way that reminded Twilight a lot of some of the ditzier ponies in Ponyville.

"Oh right. Twilight, this is Sister. Sister, Twilight." Church half-heartedly introduced.

Twilight was about to ask whose sister she was before the young woman in question bent down and started rubbing Twilight's head (which she had to admit felt kinda nice, but was an unwanted invasion of her personal space).

"Aw… what a cute dog!" Sister cooed.

"Ugh, I'm not a dog! I'm a pony!" Twilight groaned, batting away Sister's hand with her hoof. The more conversations she had with these aliens, the less appealing the idea of being the first pony to make contact with them was.

"Oh yeah? If you're not a dog then why are you being so defensive, huh?"

Twilight simply ground her teeth together, mentally chanting "love and tolerate" over and over. She needed to get back to Equestria and these people were the only ones who could help her. If she could just put a stop to these inane conversations, maybe they could actually do something to help.

"Sister, not every creature we find is a dog," Tucker said "I keep telling you that."

"Thank you, Tucker." Twilight said. "Now, I need to talk to you guys about…"

"Are you saying I wouldn't know a dog when I see one?" Sister indignantly asked Tucker.

"Considering you haven't correctly identified a dog before, no!"

"People, please I…" Twilight kept trying to get their attention, but it was like she wasn't even in the room anymore.

"Your face is a dog! How about that?" Sister retorted.

Caboose suddenly entered the room again, "Someone has a face that looks like a dog? Where?"

"Oh my God. This is the most I've ever seen anyone argue over something so trivial. And I would know: I've been to a Republican primary debate!" Tucker said.

"How can you tell who looks like a dog? We're wearing helmets!"

"Tucker, what were you doing at a primary? You don't know the first thing about politics!" Church said.

Twilight sighed, "Guys, seriously…"

"Hell, I asked you who you voted for last election and you said 'America!'" Church continued.

"Hey, those primaries are _filled_ with tons of lonely politician chicks… that _I_ could fill! Bow chicka bow..."

"EVERYONE! Stop bickering for a second and listen!" Satisfied that she finally had the group's attention, Twilight collected herself and continued. "Now, I'm a long way from home and I need to get back, but I can't do it alone! Like it or not, I'm in your world now and you all clearly understand it more than I do. Now, I know it may be hard…"

"Bow chicka bow wow!"

"... But if we all put our heads together and work this out, I know that we can figure out a way to send me back to Equestria!"

Twilight Sparkle looked to each of the armored humans before her, looking right into the visors of each of their helmets, encouraging them with her eyes instead of her words this time. Sister, then Tucker, then Caboose and finally Church met Twilight's gaze.

"... Pass."

"What?" Twilight took a step toward Church.

"I pass. I don't wanna help!" And with that, Church left the room.

Twilight turned to look at the three other blues that were left and saw that they didn't seem too inclined to help her either. With a frustrated groan, Twilight left the room and ran after Church.

The cobalt soldier was outside making his way around the building to one of the ramps that went up to the roof by the time Twilight caught him.

"Church, wait! Think about it" Twilight desperately grasped for something that would convince the man to help her, "This is a chance for two races who have only just met to help each other! Think of what we could accomplish for both of our kinds!"

"Yeah, I'm not much of an ambassador, so I don't really give a shit about any of that," Church said as he turned and started ascending the ramp to the top of Blue Base.

"Even so, as a soldier you must realize it's the right thing to do!"

"Hey, not only is my status as a soldier debatable, but I haven't done 'the right thing' in years! Why would I start now? I'm on a hot streak!" Church arrived on top of the base with Twilight trailing behind him. "If you're looking for the goodness of humanity, you're in the wrong fucking canyon!"

"It'll… be… an adventure?" Twilight was really grasping at straws by this point.

"_Adventure?_" Church suddenly whirled around and bent over so he was face to face (disregarding the helmet) with Twilight. His passive, uncaring words were suddenly laced with venom.

"The past five years of my life have been nothing but weird, crazy adventure after adventure where I'm either dying, or losing the one thing that's important to me over and over again! I am _done_ with adventure!"

As Church returned to his full height and turned away from her, Twilight heard something in the distance that sounded like a rhythm, but she ignored it. She thought of her friends, of Spike, of the Princess and started to lose her voice as the possible reality of never seeing them again kicked in.

"If you don't help me, I could be trapped here forever! My friends, my family will never know what happened to me! Don't you care?" Twilight could barely speak past the lump in her throat.

"Honestly? No, Twilight. I don't give a shit about what happens to you. You being here isn't my problem. It's yours."

Twilight Sparkle remained in place, trying to form words with what felt like broken vocal chords. Here she was talking to an alien like she'd always dreamed of doing, and he shut her down in the coldest way she could imagine. Twilight then began to wonder if part of what made her so enamored with the prospect of meeting aliens was the idea that they would be just as interested in meeting her. But she meant nothing to him. Finally, Twilight reached her breaking point and all of her bottled up emotions came seeping out.

"Well FINE! You don't want to help me? I'm just _fine_ with that!" Twilight exclaimed, stomping her hoof on the concrete and struggling to maintain an even voice. "It figures: I finally get the chance to meet intelligent alien life and they turn out to be the most stupid, self-centered bunch of… of _flankholes_ I've ever had the displeasure of meeting! I don't need your help! I'm going to find someone to help me who isn't a complete _jerk_!"

As Twilight turned to head back down the ramp, head held up indignantly, she heard the distant rhythm that she realized had been constantly in the background grow louder into distant music.

"Yeah, well good luck with that!" Church scoffed, "The only people in this damn canyon are us and the…"

"What's that?" Twilight asked. The music was definitely not in her head. Someone nearby was playing a very upbeat song, and it was getting louder.

"What?"

"That music…"

"What music…?" Church trailed off as the music got even louder. There was no way Church couldn't have heard it now. It was currently the most overbearing sound in the canyon, along with another droning sound.

"Oh, fuck…"

Church and Twilight looked out over the canyon just in time to see a vehicle carrying three soldiers in various shades of red armor clear a nearby hill and drive towards them.

"YEE-HAW!" One of them with a gruff southern accent cheered over the music and the vehicle's engines. "TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR BLUES TO DIE!"


	3. Act 1 Part 3 - Good Fight

Act 1 Part 3 - Good Fight

The only sound Twilight could hear as she lay on her side was a constant high pitched ringing. She heard some other noises that sounded like yelling, but they were muffled and distant as if she were trying to listen to a conversation underwater. Twilight tried to piece together what had just happened.

One second she had been in a heated argument with Church and the next, a group of human soldiers in red armor came rolling up in some sort of vehicle. They had fired a burst of three extremely volatile projectiles from a weapon mounted on their vehicle, which had exploded against the side of Blue Base… a little too close to where Twilight had been standing. As her senses started to return, she groggily crawled up to her hooves.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked, turning to face Church while rubbing the side of her head where it had impacted on the top of Blue Base. She noticed that Tucker, Caboose and Sister had assembled up top with them.

"The reds are attacking!" Church exclaimed, "and it looks like they have some kind of new rocket jeep!"

"That thing must have a lot of twerk…" Caboose stated.

"Pretty sure that's not the word you're looking for," Tucker said.

Twilight looked over at their attackers. Three red soldiers were riding in the vehicle that Church had described as a "rocket jeep." A soldier in maroon armor appeared to be operating the vehicle, while a man in red sat on top of the seat beside him (Twilight wasn't sure why he didn't just sit _in_ the seat the way it seemed to be designed). A soldier in orange armor was on the back, operating the mounted weapon.

"Yeah! Suck it blues! I mean reds! I mean… _fuck!_ I was right the first time!" the maroon one yelled as the jeep circled around.

"Damn dude, you really suck at this!" another one said.

Additionally, Twilight spotted a soldier in bright pink armor driving what appeared to be a one man vehicle. However, he didn't seem to be interested in doing anything apart from driving the small vehicle in little circles in one place, creating a donut shaped pattern on the ground with his wheels and cheering loudly.

"Who are these guys?" Twilight asked, "are they some kind of evil doers?"

"Depends on how loosely you define 'evil,'" Church said, before hastily turning to the man in regular blue armor, "Caboose, get in the tank!"

"Okay!" Caboose exclaimed before sprinting down the ramp leading down to the tank parked on the north side of the base. The reds drove down past the south side of the base.

"Everyone else: _stay away from the tank!_" Church ordered.

The reds drove their jeep around the back of the base.

"Simmons, stop moving! I can't get a clear shot with this thing!" The orange soldier on the back mounted gun yelled.

The reds' jeep slowed as it came around the north side of Blue Base, stopping several feet away from the rear of the blues' tank. The stationary vehicle began to swivel its massive cannon around in the direction of the reds.

"Aah! Simmons! _Don't _stop moving! Move very, very fast!"

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit!" Simmons chanted as he put the jeep in reverse, backing it up behind Blue Base in just enough time to narrowly avoid an explosive blast from the tank's main cannon.

Despite her initial fear for her safety, Twilight Sparkle studied the battle with immense fascination. She may not have had a liking for violence, but she was incredibly interested in learning how these "human" things waged war. For now, the little unicorn focused on taking mental notes of the strategies they employed in combat. She could always ask about the historical context of their conflict later. That is, assuming the rude creatures were willing to help her with even _that_ much. Twilight gave an angry little huff upon remembering her current predicament.

The reds meanwhile, had continued backing up their jeep until they had put a fair bit of distance between themselves and Blue Base, keeping the simple concrete structure between themselves and the blues' tank.

"Yeah… Church? I can't really get a shot at the reds anymore from this angle," Caboose told Church over the radio. The barrel of the tank's cannon then swiveled around to face the blues standing on top of the base, "I do have a pretty clear shot of you though, Church! In case you're interested!"

"No thanks," Church grumbled. He wasn't counting on the fact that the reds would be able to take advantage of the tank's immobility.

"Just saying: offer stands!"

Twilight was about to ask why they didn't simply move the tank to a position where it could reach the reds before she remembered what Caboose had told her about it being broken. Church pushed past Sister and Doc to approach the edge of the south side of the base.

"HEY REDS!" Church yelled, "YOU'D BETTER PACK UP AND GET LOST, OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END YOU! I HAVE A TANK AND I _WILL _USE IT!

"OH YEAH? WELL WHY DON'T YOU?" One of the reds replied in a gruff southern accent.

"Sarge, I may not be the brilliant tactician that you are, but I don't quite understand the logic behind your plan to get the blues to kill us with their tank," The maroon soldier in the driver's seat said.

"I WILL!" Church retaliated.

"THEN HURRY UP AND DO IT YA PANSY!"

"OKAY! FINE!" Church stood still for a very long time. Twilight held her breath as all of the soldiers on both sides of the conflict seemed to be looking at Church expectantly, "dammit. Look… uh, I don't really wanna use the tank on you guys if I don't have to. I mean, uh… have you seen how expensive gas is these days? I don't wanna waste perfectly good miles on you guys!"

"Dude, you'd just have to drive it a few feet to the right or left. It wouldn't do anything to hurt your mileage," the orange soldier pointed out.

"Seriously, why are we trying to get them to use their tank?" Simmons asked, "is that the real plan? Are we trying to kill ourselves? Because there are much better ways we could go about doing it!"

"Yeah well… every little bit counts… and I'm on a tight budget right now. Saving up for a… new batch of headlight fluid," Church stuttered.

Twilight was confused (this was becoming an increasingly common occurrence in her experiences with these people). She thought these two red and blue factions were mortal enemies. Why were they talking about their budgetary problems with each other? Human war customs were _weird_.

"Fine! If you don't wanna use yer tank, that's your loss! We'll just have to be the ones to kill _you_ instead!" Sarge exclaimed.

"Which wasn't the plan all along, apparently…" Simmons grumbled.

"Grif! Fire away!"

"Oh crap…" Church sighed.

Twilight's eyes widened when she heard the familiar sound of three consecutive blasts as the mounted gun on the reds' jeep opened fire, launching three of their extremely explosive projectiles straight at Church. Without even thinking, Twilight shut her eyes, gathered magic into her horn and projected it around her. She heard three loud explosions one after the other as each of the reds' projectiles detonated. This time however, she wasn't thrown off her hooves.

Cautiously opening her eyes, Twilight sighed with relief when she saw her own magical barrier successfully up around Church and herself. Church's arms were covering the front of his helmet as his whole body recoiled. He seemed oddly acceptant of his fate of being blown to smithereens, only starting to lower his hands from his face when he realized that hadn't happened. Church looked at the transparent purple dome around him.

"Hah! I'm not dead! Well, technically I am but…" Church turned to face Twilight, whose horn was glowing a bright purple, "Twilight? Are you doing this?"

Twilight simply nodded, struggling to maintain a grin as sweat dripped down her face. She was still focusing a lot of energy into the domed magical shield, and after all that she'd been through she didn't have much energy left.

"Sweet Saskatchewan! What in the Sam L. Jackson is that?" Sarge exclaimed.

"It's some kind of forcefield!" Grif said.

"It looks like it's centered around that weird animal they have up there!" Simmons noted.

"Hit it with more rockets Grif!" Sarge ordered.

"Hold on, I have to reload," Grif grumbled as he reached down into a compartment on the back of the jeep and pulled out a large brown case with "M41 SSR" inscribed on it in big white letters.

Seeing that they weren't ready to follow up with another attack, Twilight relaxed and severed her connection with the shield she created, allowing it to fade away.

"Hey! Now's our chance! Take out the gunner!" Tucker said.

"Oh yeah, good thinking!" Church exclaimed, raising his sniper rifle at the jeep full of red soldiers.

After taking a few moments to aim down the rifle's sights and line up his shot (he had plenty of time at the rate Grif was reloading the rockets), Church fired a shot. It flew over Grif's right shoulder.

"Dammit!" Church overcompensated on his next shot, shooting clear past Grif's left.

"Fuck!" Church fired two more shots. They sailed high over his target's head, "Fuck, _Fuck!_"

Twilight's hoof found her face. The other four blues just groaned.

"Shut up! The sun… reflected off his helmet," Church said, "Tucker, you shoot him!"

"Me? I left my gun downstairs! All I have with me are my two swords! And one of them isn't rated for combat! Bow chicka bow…"

"Doc, I'm going to guess you're sticking with the pacifist card,"

"Yeah, the thought of even looking at them aggressively is making me uncomfortable," The purple medic replied.

"Sister? You have a gun," the desperation in Church's voice was noticeable.

"Yeah, but this thing completely discharged after I pulled it out. Barely lasted five minutes!" Sister replied.

Twilight nodded, "yeah… _wait what?_"

"Twilight? Can't you blow them up or something with your freaky unicorn magic?" Church pleaded.

Twilight winced and sucked in air through her teeth, "yeah, I don't really feel comfortable getting involved in foreign conflicts without official support from the government of Equestria. Heck, just protecting you with that shield was probably breaking all kinds of foreign policy laws!"

Church looked in the direction of Caboose. The gun barrel of the tank was angled up and spinning in circles over and over again.

"Hey Church! If I keep doing this fast enough I can turn the tank into a helicopter! Won't that be awesome?"

Church looked away from Caboose, the tank, Twilight and the rest of the blues. Twilight followed his gaze over to the jeep filled with red soldiers. The orange one who the others referred to as Grif was huffing and puffing loudly as his efforts to reload the turret one rocket at a time slowed significantly.

Church sighed, "this is going to be a long fucking battle…"

* * *

Rainbow Dash gave a frustrated growl as she completed another lap in the cloudless skies above Ponyville. Cloudless, they had been cleared by Rainbow Dash herself. Usually after a job well done, Rainbow would find a spot to relax and take a long nap but she had soon found herself unable to sit still. Bucking clouds all day had been a good distraction while it lasted, but as soon as she had a moment to herself her thoughts went back to Twilight.

Her friend was stranded on some alien planet somewhere and the Princess really expected her to just sit around and do nothing? It was enough to make her want to scream, shout and break things, and now she didn't have any clouds to vent her frustration on. Rainbow couldn't stand thinking about it, so she had promptly vacated her napping cloud and started flying laps above Ponyville. For hours she did just that: rolling, looping and performing every trick in her book over and over again until she could perform each one as mechanically as walking.

Her wings were beginning to tire and thoughts began creeping back into Rainbow Dash's head accompanied by feelings of helplessness. She had to find something else to do. Some way to stop thinking. The rainbow-maned pegasus turned in the air and set a new course for downtown Ponyville. She decided it might be a good idea to see her friends. They were all likely going through the same thing as she was, but Rainbow knew at least one pony who never failed to put a smile on her face.

Soon, Rainbow Dash touched down in front of Sugarcube Corner and promptly entered the giant gingerbread establishment. Sure enough, the first thing that Rainbow Dash saw inside the bright, multicoloured building was Pinkie Pie standing behind the counter serving a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark.

"Here you go, one super-duper-deluxe peanut butter and chocolate cupcake with frosting and sprinkles!" Pinkie exclaimed, happily depositing the pastry in front of the brown stallion.

The stallion merely looked down at the cupcake before him, "but I ordered a muffin…"

"Yeah, but a super-duper-deluxe peanut butter and chocolate cupcake with frosting and sprinkles is like, ten times better than a muffin!" Said Pinkie, holding up ten hooves to demonstrate.

"But, Ditzy's allergic to peanuts."

Pinkie then leapt over the counter and grabbed the stallion by the face, glaring hatefully into his eyes, "**You will take the cupcake or I will force feed it to you… and it ****_won't_**** be through your mouth!**"

Staring with terrified wide eyes, the stallion promptly reached over to the counter, grabbed his cupcake and bolted past Rainbow Dash and out the door.

"Well that wasn't very nice," Pinkie Pie pouted, glaring up at the ceiling as if it had been the one to snap at that poor pony.

Rainbow Dash just gave her head a few shakes. She was looking for a distraction and she found one sooner than she expected.

"Hey Pinks, what's up?"

Pinkie Pie whirled around and gave Rainbow Dash an excited wave, "Oh hi Dashie! Want to help me make cupcakes?" Pinkie then got incredibly close to Rainbow Dash, glaring intensely into her eyes, "**I need a special ingredient that only you can provide me!**"

"Uh… no thanks," Something inside Rainbow Dash told her that it was in her best interest not to take Pinkie up on her offer, "so, when do you get off work?"

"Oh, I'm actually off work now! The Cakes just told me to take the whole day off after the third time my new friend tried to make customers taste something called 'oblivion!' I don't really know what that is, but it must be super yucky since ponies kept running away screaming!"

"Uh huh…" Rainbow Dash muttered. At least one thing hasn't changed: Pinkie Pie was making about as much sense as she usually did, "So, do you wanna hang out? Maybe prank some ponies or something?"

"That sounds like an awesomazing idea Dashie!" Pinkie Pie's happy smile suddenly changed. Rainbow Dash couldn't figure out what was different, but something seemed decidedly more malicious about the pink mare's expression.

"**I have some pretty ****_killer_**** new ideas for pranks! Hmm hmm ha ha ha ha ha!**"

* * *

"Ugh, reloading is hard!" Grif complained as he loaded more rockets into the warthog's turret.

Church just sat with his legs dangling over the side of Blue Base. The pony alien creature that called itself Twilight was lying down beside him. Church had to admit, the posture did kind of remind him of a dog. Behind him, the rest of the blues were either sitting around twiddling their thumbs or off doing their own thing. He also had to admit that the little purple alien had turned out to be pretty handy, what with all of those weird powers it had. Still, that didn't mean he was about to help her find her way back to Planet Horse or wherever she said she was from.

Just then Donut, who had managed to fill the entire area in front of Blue Base with circular designs on the ground with his ATV drove over to the other reds.

"Hey guys! How's the battle going?" the flamboyant pink soldier asked.

Sarge's reply was an aggravated grunt.

"I reloaded two of the rocket launchers, I'm taking a break!" Grif said, leaning forward over the makeshift rocket turret.

"Hmm… maybe we should try negotiating with the blues. This battle really doesn't seem to be going anywhere," Simmons said.

"Hmm… I don't like the idea of talking to a blue unless it leads up to a pre-murder one-liner, but I see your point!" Sarge then hopped out of the jeep's passenger seat and called out to Church, "HEY BLUE! SEEING AS WE'VE REACHED A BIT OF A STALEMATE, THE MIGHTY AND SUPERIOR RED ARMY IS WILLING TO COME TO AN AGREEMENT!"

Church sighed and got to his feet, "Alright reds, what do you want?"

The four reds huddled together and murmured amongst themselves.

"Well, we don't want yer flag because… that's just bad news for everyone involved!" Sarge exclaimed, "we also don't want yer tank, because something's clearly wrong with it if you weren't willing to use it on us like you always do!"

Church swore under his breath. He was hoping he could convince the reds to accept ownership of the broken tank, only for them to find out that they wouldn't be able to take it back to their base with them. Now he had to think of something else to give them.

"Hey, instead of listing off all of things you _don't _want, how about you start telling me what you _do_ want?" Church snarked.

The reds all looked at each other, "Well… ya don't exactly have anything worthwhile!" Sarge said.

Church was ready to retort when he realized Sarge had a very valid point, "yeah… this place sucks."

"How about a hostage?" Simmons suggested.

"Yeah, because that worked out so well the other times," Grif deadpanned.

"Sure, we can give you a hostage!" Church said.

"And not the medic!"

"Damn!" Church turned around to look at his team. Each one of them that wasn't Doc at the very least knew how to fire a weapon, and as such were too valuable a commodity in this canyon.

"Wait, what the heck is that thing?" Church turned back around when he heard Donut's voice and saw the pink soldier pointing at Twilight Sparkle.

Grif shrugged, "I dunno, looks like some new pet the blues have."

The pony in question groaned and took a step forward, "I'm not a pet! My name is Twilight Sparkle! I'm a unicorn pony from Equestria!"

Donut gave a loud, drawn out gasp.

"Oh boy…" Grif mumbled.

"Sarge! Can we take the unicorn? Pleeeease?" Donut begged, trying to give the red sergeant puppy dog eyes from behind his helmet.

"Well…"

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Ya didn't even let me…"

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE?"

"Actually Sarge, if I recall that strange animal seemed to be the source of the domed shield that appeared earlier in the battle," Simmons said.

"Sufferin' cylons, you're right! Having that kind of power in our hands could give us a tactical edge _and _a morale boost, considering Donut won't be bugging me about it in that annoying way that he does!" Sarge then turned to face the blues, "we have come to a decision! We want to take your little unicorn critter Twilight Flufflesnugglepuss as our hostage!"

"What?" Twilight exclaimed.

Church then had a devious idea, "done!"

"Yes!" Donut cheered.

"_What?_"

"Sorry Twilight, but you're probably not going to get off my case about me not helping you get home. So, this seems like a pretty convenient way to get you out of my hair!"

Church relished the look of pure, seething hatred on the unicorn's face as she glared at him through squinting eyes.

"Fine! This might actually work out for me! If someone as thoroughly unpleasant as you has enemies like these," Twilight gestured with her head in the direction of the reds, "maybe they could end up being friends! I'm sure either way they'll be more helpful than _you_!"

With that, Twilight marched down the ramp leading to the side of the base where the reds' jeep was parked. Church couldn't stop himself from briefly following her to get one final word in.

"Clearly you don't know these guys like I do!"

Twilight's response was to sigh, which quickly turned into a groan, "I should never have messed with that stupid ship and that stupid helmet…"

The little purple alien's bitter rambling became inaudible as she walked further away from Blue Base. Church watched with smug satisfaction as she hopped onto the back of the ATV with an absolutely ecstatic Donut and was driven back in the direction of Red Base, followed closely by the other three reds in the jeep.

Finally, the troublesome little thing was gone and Church could get back to life as normal at Blue Base. No more arguing with a self important little alien that thought she was better than him. Now it was back to just arguing with a bunch of other assholes that Church knew _he_ was better than.

As the reds disappeared over to the other side of the canyon, Church turned around to head inside. It was then that something the unicorn had said before leaving suddenly clicked in Church's brain. He stopped in his tracks.

"Wait… _SHIP?_"

* * *

Rarity sat at her workstation in Carousel Boutique, humming a little tune as she operated the sewing machine, a cup of nearly finished tea on the table beside it. Truthfully, she had been quite tired after the journey from Dodge City to Canterlot to Ponyville that day and had originally intended to take a day to relax in light of… recent events. However, Rarity had found herself quite restless and before she knew it, she was brewing a pot of tea and getting to work on some of the dress commissions she had lined up.

Hearing a soft snore, Rarity glanced off to the side and looked warmly at Spike, sleeping in his basket with a small horde of gems. She had taken it upon herself to look after the baby dragon in Twilight's absence and the love-struck reptile was overjoyed. The little guy was understandably shaken about the whole… situation with Twilight, so Rarity had treated him to a little outing (that against her wishes, he kept referring to as a date) and bought a ton of gems for him to snack on. Sure she had spoiled him, but she accomplished her goal: in short time Spike had forgotten just how worried about Twilight he was. Now, he was sleeping off the effects of a gem crash.

Rarity returned her attention to her work table only to find that she had already completed another section of blue lace for the dress she was currently working on. Rarity went to finish off her cup of tea when she heard the sound of the bell above her front door ringing downstairs. Sure, she had put up her "closed" sign, but some ponies just didn't pay attention to such details. Slowly, she got up out of her seat and headed downstairs.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Rarity promptly stopped when she noticed her purple rug squelched under her hooves. Looking down, Rarity noticed that her entire carpet appeared to be stained with… something. Whatever it was, she couldn't smell it. Was it water? Did she have a leak? With a shrug, Rarity continued towards the front hall. She could get somepony to come look at her plumbing later.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed. You'll have to…" Rarity stopped when she noticed the front hall was empty, the front door already on its way shut. Whoever it was must have figured she was closed on their own.

Deciding to brew more tea as long as she was downstairs, Rarity entered the kitchen and promptly slipped on the wet, smooth floor. She landed chin first on the hard surface and let out a frustrated groan. Where had all this water come from? Her question was answered when she heard the sound of a pony snickering. Looking up, Rarity spotted the top of a rainbow mane outside her kitchen window, shaking with mirth.

"Of course. Who else was I expecting?" Rarity huffed as she pulled herself to her hooves and briskly (but careful not to slip again) made her way to the front door of her home and place of work.

Stepping out into the cool Fall air of Ponyville, Rarity promptly turned and headed to the side of Carousel Boutique the kitchen was on. She failed to notice the pink pony enter the boutique through the front door behind her.

Sure enough, when Rarity rounded the corner of her boutique, she found Rainbow Dash hiding beneath her kitchen window, both front hooves planted firmly in her own mouth to keep herself from laughing too loudly. Suffice to say, it wasn't very effective.

"Very funny, Rainbow Dash. Soaking my house in water? You truly are a master of wit!" Rarity deadpanned.

Infuriatingly, Rainbow Dash didn't whirl around and start apologizing profusely now that she had been caught. Instead, she looked over at Rarity, biting her lip to keep any more laughter from coming out.

"Oh, it's not water, Rarity!" She said between snickers, "it's some kinda 'odorless pranking liquid!' Pinkie bought the stuff in bulk!"

Rarity glanced behind Rainbow Dash. Sure enough, there was a cart and a small pile of empty barrels with the logo of "Jumping Jack's Joke Shop" on them. Rarity was about to sigh and return her attention to the immature pegasus in front of her when something else on the barrels caught her eyes. Below the logo and the words "Odorless Pranking Liquid" was what appeared to be a warning label: an octagonal red symbol with a simplistic image of fire in the center. Rarity's eyes widened as she did a double take between Rainbow Dash and the barrels.

"Rainbow Dash? Is that stuff flammable?"

"Pfft! Of course not!" Rainbow Dash shook her head, "Uh… what does 'flammable' mean again?"

It was then that the two mares heard the sound of a prepubescent male sneeze from inside Carousel Boutique.

"AAAH-CHOO!"

The sound was immediately followed by one that made Rarity's hairs stand on end: flames. After exchanging a nervous look, Rainbow Dash and Rarity raced around to the front of the boutique as the sounds of sneezing and crackling flames increased. They opened the front door and were greeted to the sight of the entire front hall consumed in orange flames. Spike sat in the center, sneezing uncontrollably, a burst of fire flying from his snout with every sneeze.

Without stopping to think, Rainbow Dash zoomed in to the burning boutique. She weaved around the flames covering the floor and walls and scooped up Spike, avoiding the little dragon's dangerous sneezes.

"I'm sorry, I can't… Pinkie, she… ah…" Spike sneezed again, lighting a mannequin on fire in the process.

Rainbow Dash promptly zoomed out the closest window, shattering the glass. After setting Spike down outside somewhere his volatile sneezes would do no damage, Rainbow Dash returned to Rarity's side at the front of the boutique. Rainbow's ears folded back when she looked at Rarity, who stared blankly ahead at her burning home.

"Rarity… I'm sorry! I didn't know this would happen!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, her raspy voice cracking.

Rarity's lower lip quivered and tears began welling up in her eyes, "of all the things that could happen…"

Rarity's horn started to glow a vivid blue. A red velvet couch with gold finish burst through one of the second floor windows surrounded in a blue-ish glow and landed beside Rarity. The fashionista stood up on her hind legs and raised a foreleg to her head in a dramatic fashion.

"This is _literally_ the WORST! POSSIBLE! _THING_!" With that, Rarity dove face first onto the couch, sobbing hysterically.

Rainbow Dash was ready to fly away and get the fireponies when someone came merrily hopping out of the burning building. Pinkie Pie did a happy little dance in front of the inferno.

"**EEEE HEE HEE HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA! That's right you foolish fools! BURN IN THE FIERY INFERNO OF OBLIVION!**" As Pinkie continued to laugh maniacally, Rainbow noticed she was holding something in one of her hooves: a pepper shaker.

A pepper shaker that could be used to give a baby dragon a sneezing fit. Rainbow Dash's wings flared open as she angrily rounded on her.

"_What the hay is wrong with you, Pinkie_? Was this your plan all along? Are you trying to get Rarity to hate us? Because there are much better ways to go about doing it than _burning down her freaking house_!"

Pinkie Pie's insane laughter had immediately stopped after Rainbow Dash's angry rant. The pink mare's eyes widened as she looked at the pyre as if seeing it for the first time. She looked back over at Rainbow Dash with wide, terrified eyes that were partially obscured by her suddenly perfectly straight mane. Rainbow Dash just continued giving Pinkie a glare that could raze the rest of Ponyville along with Carousel Boutique.

"I-I'm sorry! I… I didn't mean… I-I didn't want to…" Pinkie turned and ran, not slowing down and not looking back.

Rainbow Dash just gave an annoyed flick of her tail before turning back to check on Rarity. She was still crying her eyes out into the big red couch, her boutique burning behind her. Spike, who had since gotten over his sneezing fit was on the couch beside Rarity, gently comforting her. Rainbow Dash turned away from the scene and promptly took off in the direction of the fire house. If one good thing had come out of this, she was no longer thinking about a certain missing friend.

* * *

Twilight Sparkle sat on top of the disappointingly identical round concrete structure that served as Red Team's base of operations. Aside from the prevalence of the color red as opposed to blue, Twilight could have imagined this was the exact spot where she had argued with Church. She tried desperately to hold onto the hope that if Church and his team wasn't willing to help her, this Red Team could. Said hopes became harder and harder to hold onto as she was introduced to each of the members of Red Team.

"So Twilight, are you like, the last of your kind and on a journey to find the other unicorns?" Donut asked. Out of all of them, the man wearing armor as pink as Pinkie Pie was the most enthusiastic to talk to her. He was also the one who cared the least about her personal space.

"Nope. Plenty of unicorns back in Equestria," Twilight said, taking a few steps backwards to reclaim a bit of her personal space from the excitable pink soldier.

"Oh my God, that's even better!" Donut exclaimed, once again crawling forward to take away the personal space that Twilight reclaimed, "Man, it would be so totally cool if you took me with you! We could sing songs and dance, and I would totally be best friends with everyone as soon as I arrived for no real reason!"

"Sounds pretty fuckin' stupid to me," Grif said lazily. The orange soldier was probably the one that got on Twilight's nerves the most. How could anyone be so unmotivated and even worse, unorganized?

"Seriously, aliens are supposed to be big badass lizardmen who are all like 'death to humans! All your base are belong to us!'" Grif continued, "what's so special about a tiny horse alien?"

Twilight had given up on trying to come up with a dignified response and settled for silent protest.

"Well, I for one think that meeting a new sapient species is always an enlightening experience," Simmons said. Twilight wasn't really sure how to feel about him yet. He seemed smart, she supposed, "I'm sure you have so many questions and I'd be happy to answer them. For starters, we're all part of the human race, but technically we're called 'Homo sapiens sapiens.'"

Twilight raised her eyebrows and gave an intrigued grunt. More information for her mental database on the alien species.

"Well, _technically_ no one cares," Grif said.

"_I _care!" Simmons argued.

"Correction: no one important cares."

"My mom says I'm important…"

"Can it, dirtbags! I can't hear myself think!" Sarge exclaimed. Of all of the red soldiers, Sarge was the one that unnerved her the most. On the all of ten minutes that she spent in red team's company, the man had come up with a dozen ideas that would put Pinkie Pie's schemes to shame and what was more, _someone_ thought it was a good idea to make him a military leader! Was insanity a standard prerequisite for one to become an officer in the human military?

The red sergeant in question then returned to his conversation with… himself? "Sorry about that, self! Please continue! Mmm-hmm. Yep. I like that! Good thinking, me! I'll tell them right away!" Sarge then turned to face Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the reds, "Alright, listen up! Me, Myself and I have come to a decision on what to do with Twi… Twilightliciousjagglecallit…"

"Twilight Sparkle..." Twilight corrected, struggling to maintain an even voice.

"Yeah, that! I have decided that the best way to make use of our new hostage- I mean ally would be to use her Godlike unicorn powers to power my time machine that I will use to go back in time and assassinate George Washington: the inventor of the color blue!"

Stunned silence from unicorn and red soldiers alike was all that met Sarge's proclamation. There was no way that any of them could possibly think that idea was…

"Excellent idea, sir!" Simmons dutifully said.

"Now rest up, Twibright! We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow!" With that, Sarge turned around and made his way down one of the ramps on the side of the structure. Twilight's mouth hung open as she watched him go.

"Well, I'm off to make family dinner! I'll call you guys when it's ready," Donut said, who turned to start making his way down another of the ramps.

"You're off to make _what_?" Grif asked.

Donut turned back around and addressed grif through gritted teeth, "family dinner. We _always_ have family dinner."

"Since when?"

Donut then violated Grif's personal space just as he had done with Twilight's and whispered loudly, "since a unicorn started living with us who some of us want to make a good impression on, _Grif_!"

Donut turned and started happily frolicking down the ramp and out of sight.

"Right, I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me when there's food," Grif stated, turning to leave as well.

Twilight's left eye began to twitch uncontrollably. The red sergeant's plan was both impossible and insane. Did he really have a time machine? Was he really willing to use it to change history? How could any of these people just go about their lives as normally as they were, knowing they were being lead by a madman? How was that even possible? _How was any of this even possible_?

"Sueño. Despierta. Consumir. Los seres humanos son tan ineficientes."

Twilight whirled around at the sound of the deep, monotone voice behind her speaking with words she did not understand. She gasped and tilted her head back when she came face to face with a brown helmet that looked just like the ones every other of these soldiers wore. Who had spoken just now? It couldn't have been…

"Oh yeah, that's Lopez," Simmons stepped up beside Twilight, "He's our _head_ mechanic. Ha ha… get it? He's… he's just a head..."

Twilight looked back and forth from Simmons and the brown helmet on the ground. Her other eye started to twitch. And to think, there was a time when she thought that _her_ friends were insane. Finally, the dam burst. Twilight groaned and stared up at the heavens above.

"All the people in this canyon are _CRAZY_!"

* * *

Today had not been a good day for Fluttershy. The first thing she heard when she was woken up in her room at the Dodge City Inn was that one of her closest friends had mysteriously disappeared. Her anxiety only increased when she and the others had arrived in Canterlot to learn that the Royal Sisters were fighting and that they had no idea where Twilight was.

When she finally got back to her cottage in Ponyville, her fear and anxiety caused her to have a major panic attack which in turn caused her to assault the furniture in her house more viciously than she ever had before (a lamp almost fell over. It didn't, but...). Afterwards she had cried while hugging Angel tightly. The little white bunny resisted at first, but soon gave up on escaping the hysterical pegasus' iron grip and settled for patiently patting her on the head.

She thought that leaving the house to go talk to her friends might make her briefly forget about her fear. Instead, she had bumped into Applejack and learned that not only had Rarity's house burnt down, but the arsonist responsible was none other than Pinkie Pie. Now, the two of them were walking down one of Ponyville's central streets, headed in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.

Fluttershy couldn't help but wonder if any of her friends were taking all of this as hard as she was. Fluttershy had thought she was just being an anxious, nervous wreck over nothing like always, but then she got a good look at Applejack's hind legs. They were bruised all over; the marks of a pony who had spent more time bucking apple trees than was probably necessary.

Finally reaching the large candy shop, the two mares stepped in through the front door. Evening was approaching and the only pony inside was Mr. Carrot Cake. The yellow stallion was in the process of wiping down one of the tables, likely preparing for closing time.

"Howdy, Mr. Cake!" Applejack tipped her hat to the stallion.

Fluttershy tried to say hello too, but as was usually the case with ponies she wasn't particularly close to, her voice died in her throat. She settled for an awkward wave. Mr. Cake tossed the cloth he was cleaning with across his back and turned to face the mares, giving them a friendly smile.

"Hello, girls!" He greeted. The look on his face then turned significantly less cheerful, "I take it you're here to see Pinkie Pie."

Applejack frowned, "reckon ya heard what happened?"

Mr. Cake nodded, "she's been acting… differently ever since you all arrived back from… wherever it was you all went. She's been talking to herself, giving customers death threats, s-she even… threatened to _eat_ Pound and Pumpkin!"

"Well that's mighty peculiar…"

"We're really, really sorry," Fluttershy apologized before flinching. She hoped he wasn't mad at her.

"It's okay," Mr. Cake said. He then turned away and muttered something under his breath. Fluttershy thought she heard the words "not mine anyway." She decided to pretend not to have heard anything at all.

"Anyway, if you want to see her, she's upstairs in her room," Mr. Cake continued, "Hasn't come out since she got home after… you know..."

"Thank you kindly," Applejack said with a nod. She then motioned for Fluttershy to follow her and together, the two of them ascended the stairs and walked down the hall until they reached the door to Pinkie Pie's room.

Applejack gave the door a few raps with her hoof, "Pinkie Pie? It's Fluttershy and Applejack! We'd like to have a few words with you!"

They waited a few seconds for Pinkie to give a response, but didn't get one.

"Pinkie, we know yer in there! Open the door or I'll buck it down myself!"

Fluttershy flinched at Applejack's harsh tone, "Um, Pinkie? We're not mad at you, okay? We just want to talk… if that's okay with you…"

Just when the pair of them thought they were going to continue to get the silent treatment, they heard a tiny, neutered voice come from the other side of the door.

"Please go away," Pinkie whimpered, "I don't want my new friend to hurt you guys."

Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged a panicked glance. New friend? Did she have somepony else in there with her? Applejack turned back to face the door.

"That's it, Pinkie! We're comin' in!" Applejack then grabbed the door handle with her hoof and with surprisingly little effort, turned it. Pinkie must not have even had any locks on it. Applejack slowly but deliberately pushed the door to Pinkie Pie's room open.

She and Fluttershy almost couldn't see Pinkie right away as they entered. The curtains were drawn over the window and the room was dark. From what they were able to see, the room was a mess. Random junk was strewn across the floor as if Rainbow Dash had performed the sonic rainboom right there in the middle of it. Several of Pinkie's commemorative photos of the six of them together at her various parties were on the floor, the glass frames shattered.

Their initial fears of there being someone or something else in the room with Pinkie proved to be wrong. Pinkie sat alone on the edge of her bed, facing away from them. The only other breathing body in the room was Gummy. The toothless baby alligator sat in the corner opposite to Pinkie, looking terrified (at least, they were pretty sure he was terrified. His blank face didn't really look any different from normal, but the fact he was as far away from Pinkie as physically possible was telling).

"Pinkie, you have some serious explaining to do!" Applejack declared.

"That's not my name…" Pinkie muttered.

Applejack made to take a step forward, an angry look on her face, but Fluttershy blocked her advance with an outstretched hoof. She had a hunch about what was going on with their friend, and getting mad at her wasn't going to help matters at all.

"Pinkie Pie… look, is this because you're worried about Twilight?" Fluttershy asked gently, slowly moving towards Pinkie, "it's okay, we all are. But, this isn't the way to go about dealing with it. Whatever you're feeling, you should come talk to us about it. We're your friends, and friends help each other!"

Fluttershy reached to put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder, but was stopped when the pink mare spoke.

"I said, my name isn't Pinkie Pie…" Pinkie finally turned to face her two friends, half of her face obscured by her straight mane.

Fluttershy gave a nervous squeak and recoiled in fear at the look Pinkie gave her. It was a look of fury and pure hatred unlike any Fluttershy had ever seen on her friend's face.

"**My name… is… O'Malley!**"


	4. Act 1 Part 4 - Contact

Applejack looked around at the three other mares gathered in the library before her. Rarity was staying in Twilight's carved out tree home while a team of ponies worked on repairing her boutique. It was late and Spike was already asleep upstairs.

Applejack had initially considered having this meeting at Sweet Apple Acres, but Twilight's library seemed like a more fitting location. She swallowed hard when she noticed her three other friends looking at her expectantly.

"Right… well, I reckon y'all know why we're here…" Applejack started.

"Yeah, Pinkie Pie's acting weird!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, jumping up and hovering in the air, "and not the normal Pinkie Pie weird, but creepy, psycho weird!"

"When Applejack and I went to see her, she kept calling herself… O'Malley," Fluttershy shivered when she spoke the name.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity both looked at Fluttershy with interest. This was the first either of them had heard this. Applejack shifted uncomfortably when the group returned their attention to her. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why her friends' lost stares in her direction made her so uneasy.

"Right, so… anypony got any ideas?" Applejack asked.

"Let's just go up to her and tell her to stop being so weird, or else!" Rainbow Dash suggested.

"I'm not sure it's that simple, dear…" Rarity said.

"Um… I think I have an idea," Fluttershy said, "Tomorrow, I booked an appointment with a pony I often go to when I'm feeling… stressed."

The other ponies all looked at Fluttershy with intrigue as she continued, "I was hoping to get some things off my chest, but clearly Pinkie needs it more than I do! So… how does that sound?"

Applejack waited for somepony to reply, only to find that once again all eyes in the room were on her. It was with a growing sense of dread that Applejack came to a realization: Twilight Sparkle had always been their rock. Their fearless leader. Whenever something like this would happen, it seemed like she always knew what to do. Now that she was gone, who was left for them to turn to?

"Yeah," Applejack answered without much enthusiasm, "I think that sounds like a mighty good idea."

Act 1 Part 4 - Contact

The "dinner table" that Donut had insistently gathered everyone around was nothing more than a couple of crates pushed together with a camouflage tarp draped over them. Although the sun outside was going down, the interior of Red Base was well lit, both by electrically powered lights and by candles that had been placed on the center of the "table." In place of actual meals were various identical packages labelled "Meal Ready to Eat." Twilight Sparkle had to admit: considering the general lack of anything to work with in this place, Donut had managed to make a pretty nice spread.

The rest of the Reds didn't seem to think so. They all simply sat around the table, staring back and forth between Donut's set up and Twilight as she ate her "MRE." Aside from Grif, who was sipping some canned drink through a straw he inserted through the front of his helmet, none of them seemed hungry enough to eat. Twilight was a bit disappointed, simply because she was hoping she'd get the chance to see what they looked like underneath those helmets.

However, she couldn't fault the human soldiers for not wanting to eat their MREs quite yet. They weren't exactly good eating, though at least Donut had been considerate enough to give her a vegetarian package. Still, Twilight tried not to show any indication that she wasn't enjoying her meal, so as not to offend her hosts. Too bad they weren't as considerate.

"Y'know Twilight, I think I finally figured out one cool thing about you," Grif said, gesturing at the little unicorn with his orange helmeted head, "you've got a pretty sweet tattoo on your ass!"

Twilight made a puzzled noise and looked back at her own flank, immediately realizing what Grif was talking about.

"You mean my cutie mark? All ponies get one once we've discovered our special talent," Twilight helpfully explained. She then frowned when her explanation was met with snickering from the entire Red Team (with the exception of Donut).

"_Cutie mark_? Ugh, I don't know how you did it, but you managed to make having a tattoo sound _uncool_," Grif said, "way to ruin the one thing you had going for yourself!"

Twilight couldn't keep the frustrated growl from escaping her throat. She'd had just about enough of these people talking down to her. She brought her hoof down on the table/crates hard, startling the red soldiers around it.

"OKAY! _I get it_! You all think I'm weird and different. How do you think I feel about all of_ you_? Maybe you can enlighten me on some the things about you that _I_ think is strange? Like… I don't know: why are you fighting with an identical team in all but the color of your armor over a box canyon in the middle of nowhere?"

Sarge grunted and folded his arms, "now look here, missy: the Red versus Blue war is massive! The fate of the galaxy depends on us wiping the blues from existence!"

"Why?"

"Because! They're _blue_! The most evil color in existence! They have plans to drive the galaxy into a new dark age… of dark _blue_!"

Twilight squinted at the man in red skeptically, "and the box canyon is important because…"

"With all due respect Brightlight, you're a little girly alien horse! I wouldn't expect you to understand the nuances of military strategy!"

Twilight leaned forward and gave Sarge a challenging glare, "try me!"

Sarge froze like a deer in the headlights for a second, "Well… it's got the… the underground caves and uh… I'm pretty sure I struck oil when I was out digging a grave for Grif!"

"Uh… I'm not dead," Grif said.

"Yeah, yeah I'm working on it," Sarge then turned to Twilight, "there, ya happy?

"Well, you've pretty much confirmed what I'd already been thinking," Twilight grumbled, returning her attention to her MRE.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I think your cutie mark is totally awesome!" Donut said happily, "I wonder what my cutie mark would look like."

"I believe she said you have to be talented in order to get one," Grif pointed out, "That pretty much rules out everyone on this team!"

Twilight let out a tired sigh. She'd been meaning to talk to them about her situation, but knew better than to hope for very much, "okay, look. I need to get back to my home of Equestria and I really need…"

"Hello?" Sarge suddenly said, looking away and putting a hand on the side of his helmet.

"Uh… hi…" Twilight said uneasily. She realized they hadn't properly said hello to her when they first met, but it seemed kind of ridiculous to randomly say it now.

Sarge continued, "This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. We read you, Command."

Simmons looked over to Twilight, then back at Sarge, "Uh, sir? Twilight doesn't have a radio,"

"Oh, right! Just a second, Command! I'm going to put you on speaker phone real quick!" Sarge announced, making his way over to a green metal box on a stand in the corner of the room.

Twilight finally realized that Sarge was communicating with his army's higher-ups and grinned as a glimmer of hope appeared. This could finally be her chance to speak to someone who _isn't_ a complete lunatic! She could explain her situation to this "Command" and everything would be okay!

"Hello! Hello! Can you hear me, dudes and dudettes?" A high-pitched, nasally voice that kind of reminded Twilight of Church for some reason came in over the radio that Sarge turned on.

"Yup, everyone can hear you now, Vic!" Sarge said.

"Hey there, my favorite red home-boys! Pop some caps in any black asses lately?"

"Uh… that's a negative, Vic."

Twilight's ears fell along with her posture. She should have known the people in charge of the Reds would be just as insane as they are.

Vic continued, "Uh-huh, cool alright listen! I gots to talk to all you dudes about some of the shit that went down a couple of days ago! Y'know, the stuff about the aliens…"

"Oh yeah, we totally stopped Tex and Omega from doing their 'conquer the aliens' plan! Are we getting some sweet rewards? Like time off?" Grif asked.

"Not at all! You fellas blew that plan harder than my ex was blowing Jenkins right before I dumped her ass! You could've cost us the war with the aliens! Not very cool, dudes!"

"Oh…" Grif looked down and twiddled his thumbs nervously.

Twilight's curiosity was now piqued. There were other aliens aside from herself? What was more, these humans were at war with them? If that was the case, why were these red and blue armies fighting each other? Just more questions to add to her ever growing list.

"Hey, don't sweat it bros! Vic don't hold grudges! Turns out, we'd already won the war anyway! One of those Spartan dudes took all the credit, too!" Vic exclaimed.

"Huh… that's disappointing…" Sarge grumbled.

"Yeah well, apparently the dude died saving everyone, so… joke's on him!" Vic paused, waiting for the laughter he expected but didn't receive before continuing, "now, even though you guys aren't in trouble _per se_, Blood Gulch has become a big point of interest for the UNSC. That's why the higher-higher-ups have decided that you all are gonna get relocated!"

Grif, who was looking away uninterested suddenly whirled around to face the rest of the team, "wait, did I hear that right? We're finally getting shipped out of this fucking canyon?"

"Hell yeah, hombre! As a matter of fact, we're sending guys to pick you dudes up first thing tomorrow morning! So pack all your things and make sure you have one of those tiny tubes of toothpaste! You're goin' on a road trip! That'll be fun, right?"

"Wait a minute, Vic. What about the Blues?" Sarge asked, "if we pull out tomorrow, they could come to take our base unopposed!"

"Thus, having _two_ bases in the middle of a box canyon…" Twilight dryly pointed out.

"Whoop-dee-fuckin' do, right?" Grif said.

"You dudes ain't got nothing to worry about, the Blues will be getting the same relocation orders as you!" Vic said.

"Hmm… if that's the case, I'd better get Lopez to monitor their call so we know where they're going," Sarge mused, "I never leave a fight unfinished, nor a blue unmilled!"

"So… where exactly are we being relocated to?" Simmons asked.

"Well, let's see… according to the notes that I'm pretending to have in front of me, you dudes are going to… uh-duh-duh… Outpost 28-B: Rat's Nest," Vic explained.

"Well that sounds about as fun as Blood Gulch," Grif deadpanned.

"Okay, you all have your orders, I'm gonna bail," Vic said with a certain tone of finality, "It's been nice talking to you dudes and I can't wait to do it again… never! Peace out, bitches!"

With that, the radio signal cut out and all anyone could hear was static, before Sarge pressed a button on the radio and Red Base returned to silence.

"Well, I'm going to start packing immediately!" Donut exclaimed, standing up, "that's the best part of any trip!"

With that, the pink soldier merrily made his exit.

"Well, I like to keep all of my things packed in the event that we have to move in short notice, but I made detailed checklists for everyone to refer to when packing," Simmons said.

At this, Twilight whirled around, looking at the man in maroon armor with a new sense of appreciation, "wait, you… _like_ making checklists?"

"Of course! You may think it's stupid, but they're a great way to keep organised!"

Twilight smiled, "I don't think it's stupid at all! I even have checklists for my checklists!"

Simmons took an excited step toward the unicorn, "that's a great idea! I can't believe I didn't think of that!"

"Wow, sounds like you two were made for each other!" Grif snickered.

"Since you've already packed, Simmons, you can take the first watch!" Sarge said, before turning to leave the room with Grif.

"Sounds good, sir!" Simmons said. He then looked down at the only other being left in the room, "I guess you can stick with me for now, Twilight."

Twilight nodded, giving the man a genuine smile. She had a feeling that she may have finally found someone in this Celestia-forsaken canyon that she could get along with! Simmons then looked from Twilight Sparkle to the radio on the stand off to the side.

"Hmm… if you're going to be staying with us for a while, you should probably have your own radio headset," Simmons said, turning back to face Twilight, "being able to communicate is the most important ability to have around here…"

* * *

"Listen, Miss Pie. I can't help you if you won't talk to me," Dr. Minuette adjusted her glasses and looked up from her notes at the pink mare lying on the couch across from her.

The light blue psychologist with the blue and white mane was _supposed_ to have another session with the meek yellow pegasus that morning. Instead, Fluttershy had come in with this pink pony explaining that she was in desperate need of help.

"I really like your couch! It's super soft and couchy!" Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing up and down as she lay on her back. The movement made Minuette think of a poofy pink worm.

"No, I mean… you have to talk to me about what's going on with you emotionally," Minuette found herself speaking slowly, as if to a foal, "for instance, your friend Fluttershy told me you'd started calling yourself O'Malley…"

Pinkie stopped worming and looked over at Minuette with an unsettled expression, "Oh… I'm not O'Malley. O'Malley is my new friend!"

Minuette raised an eyebrow, "is this… O'Malley with us right now?"

Pinkie nodded, "O'Malley is _always_ with me." The formerly energetic pink pony was now speaking completely in monotone.

"I'd like to talk to O'Malley for a moment."

Pinkie's eyes went wide and the party pony sat up, "Oh, that's not a good idea! O'Malley is… a meanie. He's really angry all the time and he wants to hurt a lot of ponies!"

Suddenly the look on Pinkie Pie's face changed. Her pupils shrunk and an insane grin appeared on her face, "**Come on, Pinkie! You say that like it's a bad thing!**"

Minuette put down her clipboard and leaned forward, "so, you're O'Malley…"

"**No, I'm Carolina… OF COURSE I'M O'MALLEY YOU FOOL!**"

"Your friend Pinkie tells me that you're a very angry pony, Mr. O'Malley."

"**That stupid pink creature isn't my friend! I'm just using her body while I come up with a plan to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE! Ha ha ha ha! … and I don't like being called 'Mr.' Makes me sound like some foolish English professor or something.**"

Minuette just nodded without batting an eye, "'Take over the universe, huh?' Do you feel you want to do that because of your anger?"

O'Malley placed Pinkie's hoof on her chin, "**Hmm… I'm angry and I want to take over the universe, but I don't think the two are related. They're like a pair of roommates sharing an apartment… OF EVIL! HA HA HA HA! And soon, this world will taste the oblivion of my rent checks as I become the landlord!**

"See? He's cree-vil! That's crazy _and_ evil!" Pinkie exclaimed, leaning forward to whisper loudly, "and he makes cree-vil metaphors!"

**"Shut up, you fool! All you care about is friendship and parties! At least **_**I**_** have a goal with my life! Where do **_**you**_** see yourself in the next five to ten years?**"

"An astronaut!" Pinkie answered immediately.

**"You're a fool! And soon, every foolish fool like you will foolishly realize the foolishness of their foolish folly!**" O'Malley stood up and moved Pinkie's body towards Minuette, giving her an intimidating glare, "**miserable creatures such as yourself will be trampled under my hooves as I reign in a new era of oblivion and parties!**" Pinkie's face winced, "**I mean… just oblivion! The only parties that will be are the ones I will have in celebration of killing everyone! Ah ha ha haaa!**"

Minuette remained steadfast in the face of O'Malley's glare, "You don't scare me, O'Malley. Now, you're demonstrating a lot of feelings of anger. Is there any particular reason you think you're feeling this way?"

Pinkie's mouth curved into a sinister smile, "**Trying to psychoanalyze me, huh? Tell me, do you think of yourself as powerful, Ms. Minuette? Getting inside ponies' minds day after day and reshaping them as you see fit?**"

Minuette's carefully neutral face began to slip. Her ears folded back and her mouth began to slowly drift open as Pinkie's snout scrunched against hers.

"**I know what that feels like! You and I actually have a lot in common in that regard. The main difference is, I can do it more efficiently! Even after I'm gone, those that I've been in still have a piece of me left! You can't get inside **_**my**_** head, you fool! I am the very concept of what you do!**"

Minuette just sat back in her chair. She noticed she was trembling slightly. Pinkie Pie backed away and quietly sat back down on the couch.

"I-I'm sorry!" Pinkie said, "to be fair, you were the one who wanted us to talk!"

* * *

Twilight looked out across Blood Gulch from atop Red Base. The canyon was covered in the darkness of night, lit only by the stars above. Simmons sat beside her, a standard issue red helmet in his lap. He was pulling out and rearranging wires. The two of them had been sitting there for nearly an hour now, making small talk every once in a while. She had asked him many questions about aspects of his world that still confused her and Simmons answered them as best as he could. Of course, Twilight had told Simmons about her situation and that she needed help getting home, but he was in no more position to help her than the others. Still, he had at least let her down more gently than… him.

Twilight let out a yawn. Now that all of the action of the day had died down, the lack of sleep she had the night before was finally catching up with her. She decided she would go to sleep soon, but there was one thing she wanted to do before that.

"Hey, Simmons?" Twilight's voice sounded hoarse. She blinked away some of the tiredness clouding her eyes.

Simmons looked up from what he was working on, "What's up?"

Twilight took some time to mull over how to speak what was on her mind before answering, "How do you do it?"

Simmons shrugged, "it's not that hard really. It's just a simple matter of pulling out all of the parts for the helmet radio and reassembling them as a headset…"

"No I mean, you actually seem like a pretty sensible guy. Or at the very least you have a better head on your shoulders than the rest of them. How can you keep living with these people?"

"Eh. They're not so bad once you get to know them."

Twilight rolled her eyes, "even if that's true, you have to admit that your Sergeant is insane and dangerous. How can you willingly follow someone like that?"

"Okay I'll admit: Sarge is an asshole just like the rest of them, but he's not as dangerous as you seem to think."

Twilight just gave Simmons a skeptical stare as he returned to his work, "look, Twilight. I learned pretty early in my life that no matter where you go, you're going to have to deal with assholes. I'm not saying you have to be friends with them or even like them! But if you want to make it anywhere, you have to be willing to at least communicate with them."

Twilight returned her gaze to the canyon as she considered Simmons' words. For some reason, she found her gaze settling on the light coming from Blue Base all the way on the other side.

"Here, try this on," Before Twilight knew it, a metal headset had been placed over her head, an earbud in one of her ears and a microphone extending alongside her snout.

Simmons then turned around and walked over to the other side of the base. Twilight heard a series of different beeps in her ear before it was filled with static.

"Just press the button on the side of the microphone to talk," Simmons' voice accompanied the static, "do you copy, Twilight?"

Twilight reached up with a hoof and did as Simmons instructed, "yeah, I copy Simmons."

"See? It's not that hard!"

A third voice added itself to the radio conversation, "Twilight and Simmons sitting in a tree…"

"_Shut up, Grif!_" Answering simultaneously did not do much to stop Grif's laughing.

* * *

Fluttershy looked up as the door to Minuette's office opened and the unicorn stepped out. Right away, she noticed that the therapist looked relatively shaken. A few stray hairs hung in front of her face, and she appeared to be shaking slightly. Minuette had always been a good listener and retained a stoic demeanor throughout all of their sessions together, even when Fluttershy let slip some of the… darker parts of herself. Fluttershy found that she wasn't able to meet her therapist's eyes at that particular moment.

"So what's wrong with Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow Dash nearly knocked the mare over in her eagerness.

Minuette removed her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her snout with a hoof, "do you want the short list or the long?"

The other four ponies exchanged looks.

"Uh… we'll settle for whatever's makin' her a boutique burnin' maniac!" Applejack said.

Minuette put her glasses back on, "well, if you want to know why she's acting more aggressive and occasionally referring to herself by another name, I think it's clear that she's suffering from DID. That's dissociative identity disorder."

The rest of the ponies all stared at Minuette with uncomprehending expressions.

"Most ponies know it as 'multiple personality disorder,'" Minuette explained, receiving nods of understanding from Fluttershy and her friends.

"So is this 'O'Malley' a separate personality from Pinkie Pie?" Rarity asked.

Minuette nodded, "It's strange… I've only seen a few cases of DID in my career, but O'Malley is unlike any of them! He's the most fully realized personality I've ever seen in a patient! Yet at the same time… he's not. It's hard to explain."

Minuette then cautiously looked behind her into her own office before continuing in a much quieter voice, "what's important is that O'Malley is an incredibly… destructive personality. I've never seen so much senseless rage in a pony, let alone a fragment of one's personality! If what you said happened at Carousel Boutique is true, Pinkie could become a danger to herself and everypony around her!"

The therapist unicorn adjusted her glasses "the development of DID is usually brought on by some sort of trauma. Has anything happened recently that would have a severe negative impact on her mental status?"

It took Fluttershy a moment to realize that Minuette was addressing her. Of course, Fluttershy was her patient under normal circumstances and the one who organised this session with Pinkie.

"Oh! Um, one of our friends recently went missing mysteriously and... we've all been struggling to deal with it," Fluttershy explained, trying to keep her little voice from breaking. She was intentionally vague on the details. They weren't exactly supposed to talk about the alien spaceship.

"Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure the first time Pinkie started acting weird was the morning we all learned Twilight was missing!" Rarity interjected.

Minuette nodded. Rainbow Dash however, put a hoof to her chin.

"Actually, I think I remember Pinks start to act different even before then. Right around after we saw that… uh… really cool thing!" Rainbow Dash had to stop herself from mentioning the spectral alien figure that had been summoned by Arcane Star.

"So, how do we help her?" Applejack asked.

"That's just the thing: DID is such an unusual disorder that there isn't any surefire way to treat it," Minuette explained, "my advice is to get her committed. I can recommend a few facilities in Canterlot and Manehatten that specialize in cases like this."

Applejack gave Minuette a scrutinizing stare, "you sayin' we oughta put Pinkie in a crazy house? T'ain't happenin'!"

"The only other option would be for me to prescribe Ms. Pie medication immediately and begin regular therapy sessions with her. It may pacify the O'Malley personality, but… I can't guarantee results. I'm sorry. The best thing you all can do for her right now is be there for her."

The ponies all nodded, "right, I think I'll have Spike send a letter to the Princess as well. I hate to bother her, but with any luck she'll have some idea of what to do!" Rarity declared.

At that moment, a very unfamiliar pink pony stepped out of Minuette's office behind the therapist pony. Pinkie Pie stared at the floor in a disturbingly melancholic way, her straight mane hanging limply in front of her face. Rainbow Dash flew up to her and tried her best to put on a confident smile.

"Hey, Pinks! Do you, uh… do you and O'Malley wanna hang out? I was going to go pick up the latest Daring Do comic! We can read it together in silly voices if you want!"

When Pinkie didn't respond to Rainbow Dash's offer, Rarity stepped up to the plate, "perhaps you'd like to go on a little spa date with me? It may be just the thing to get you _and _your friend to… cool down a bit!"

Seeing Pinkie Pie acting so… _un_Pinkie-like activated every maternal instinct in Fluttershy's body. The little yellow pegasus immediately moved to wrap her friend up in an embrace, regardless of whether or not she was somepony completely different now. Pinkie however, backed away like one of Fluttershy's nervous critters.

"I-I'd love to stay and hang out with you girls, but…" Pinkie looked at her empty wrist and feigned a surprised gasp, "oh no! I left Gummy on! And I have to feed my oven!"

Pinkie Pie bolted past the five ponies and disappeared out the front door. Minuette turned to head back into her office.

"Of course, if you want to help her, she has to be willing to receive help first!"

* * *

"Twilight, wake up!"

Twilight Sparkle's eyes weakly fluttered open, the remnants of sleep still filling them. The dream she was having was already fading from memory. She remembered being a little filly again, listening in on her parents as they had a late night discussion. She couldn't remember what they had said, only that it had caused her to run back to her room in tears. She rubbed at her sleep ridden eyes with a hoof and drew it back to find it slightly wet.

She rolled over and looked up through the large square hole in the roof of Red Base. It was still dark, and the stars were still out. By all rights she should still have been asleep, so why was she awake? Twilight then heard the same familiarly annoying voice speak to her again.

"Jeez, Twilight. You sleep harder than Tucker after he's done his… private shit."

Twilight slowly sat up and looked through half open eyes at the soldier in maroon armor standing in the room with her.

"Simmons? Is that you?" Twilight's voice was hoarse and quiet.

"No, Twilight it's _me_!" the armored figure that looked like Simmons but sounded like someone else she knew suddenly began to convulse uncontrollably.

Twilight's sleep-deprived eyes widened as something else emerged from the violently twitching body that looked like Simmons. Suddenly, a spectral entity resembling another human soldier wearing white armor was standing before Twilight, holding a familiar sniper rifle. Somehow, Twilight's eyes went wider than they already were as she tilted her head back, now recognizing the figure's voice.

"_Church?_" Twilight gasped, "But… how?"

"Do you believe in ghosts, Twilight?" The ethereal entity that was definitely Church asked, "because if you didn't before, I'm betting you feel pretty fuckin' foolish right about now!"

Twilight looked back over at the figure in maroon armor. Simmons groaned and put a hand to his head.

"Ugh, the inside of my head…" before Simmons could say anything else, he collapsed to the floor in a maroon heap.

Twilight looked back over at the ghostly image of Church, who was looking fairly amused at her reaction.

"Buh… But… there's no such thing as ghosts! They're not scientifically possible!" Twilight pointed an accusatory hoof at Church, "_you_ are not scientifically possible!"

Church just stared at Twilight with what she could only imagine was a deadpan expression.

"You're a talking magic unicorn."

Twilight made a series of confounded grunts before finally sighing. Her voice returned to the bitter tone she used the last time she spoke to the impossible man.

"Whatever. What do you want?"

"You found a ship before coming here, right?" Church asked, "I want you to tell me everything you know about it!"

Twilight wanted to tell him off. She wanted to ask him why she should share any of her knowledge with him when he'd been nothing but horrible to her, but she suddenly became acutely aware of the radio headset still on her head. After taking a breath to collect herself, Twilight spoke.

"A few days ago, this ship crash landed in Equestria and I was called in to help investigate it."

"What did it look like? Was there anyone on it?" Church asked his questions quickly like a starving man trying to consume everything on his plate at once.

"It was, I don't know… big, green and metal. The only person we found on board it was a single dead soldier in black armor that looked just like everyone here. Why?"

"Tex…"

Twilight tilted her head inquisitively. It hadn't even occurred to her before that moment that the people in this canyon might have been familiar with the ship that brought her here. In hindsight, it should have been the first thing she told them about.

"Listen, Twilight… I think we got off on the wrong foot," Church started, "Tell you what, I'll help you get back to your home planet on one condition: I want you to take me with you. I want you to show me Tex's ship!"

Church outstretched one of his hands, "deal?"

Twilight thought for a moment. Sure, she still wasn't sure that she liked Church very much, but he was finally doing what she wanted. Even if it was for selfish reasons. Twilight raised one of her own hooves.

"Deal!" Twilight and Church reached to shake… and passed right through each other.

"Oh yeah… this tends to work better when I have a body."


	5. Act 1 Part 5 - Keep Moving

Princess Luna's chambers were much more modest than many ponies seemed to believe. Yes, her bed was big and soft and she had shelves adorned with various trinkets of sentimental value to her, but other than that the only other significant aspect of the night alicorn's room was the view. Still, it was peaceful and offered respite from the stress that came with royalty. And the past few days had been especially stressful for Luna.

She had come back to her chambers immediately after raising the moon in the night sky. Normally, Luna would spend time with Celestia for a while before her sister retired for the night, but this night Luna had elected to avoid her. She still loved her sister dearly, but the wounds from their most recent argument were still fresh. Besides, Luna wasn't sure that she could so much as share simple pleasantries with Celestia without bringing up her issues with the way her sister was handling the current situation.

Avoiding Celestia wasn't the only reason Luna had returned to her chambers before beginning her duties as Night Princess. She often liked visiting her subjects in their dreams using her unique abilities, offering them wisdom and encouragement as she saw fit. That wasn't why she lay down on her bed, closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift into the dream world.

Luna's consciousness traveled the intangible space where Equestria's dreams resided, passing between seemingly infinite bubbles of light that allowed her glimpses into her ponies' subconscious. She passed all of them by as her consciousness pushed beyond the dream world of Equestria and traveled beyond the stars. Luna had never traveled this far beyond Equestria in the dream world before, but this time she had a reason. This time she was looking for something.

Luna was connected to all ponies in Equestria by their dreams. There wasn't a pony whose sleeping mind she couldn't see. She would always be able to find them so long as they were asleep and dreaming... no matter where in the universe they were located.

Act 1 Part 5 - Keep Moving

Twilight followed Church inside Simmons' body as they made their way through Red Base towards the rear entrance. After agreeing to help her get back to Equestria, Church wasted no time in trying to sneak Twilight out of Red Base. Truth be told, Twilight very likely didn't need his help to do this. As a unicorn of exceptional magical ability, she'd gotten herself out of much tighter situations, and these red soldiers hadn't displayed much competence. The only thing keeping her in their custody was the fact that she had nowhere else to go.

As if to reassure herself of this fact, Twilight chanced a peek in one of the reds' quarters where she heard a certain red sergeant.

"That makes a thousand dead blues…" Sarge mumbled between snores.

Twilight simply carried on with Church to the back entrance. She decided to play along with Church's attempt to break her out. He had finally agreed to help her, and she didn't want to repay him by making his efforts to "rescue" her seem redundant. Even if they kind of were.

After whispering for Twilight to wait, Church walked out the back entrance and disappeared. She still wasn't sure how to feel about the idea that Church was a ghost. How could even the most rudimentary unicorn magic be completely alien to him while he talked about getting killed by Caboose and returning as a spirit like he was describing a trip to the grocery store? Twilight also wasn't sure about the fact that he was currently possessing the only person on Red Team that she considered a friend (or at the very least liked better than the others).

"Okay, here's the plan," Church said, reappearing in the base's rear entrance, "Tucker's waiting outside with one of the Reds' vehicles. While I go up top to distract the lookout, you rond… rendez… uh… regroup with Tucker and he'll drive you back to our base!"

Twilight nodded in affirmation, which caused her to once again notice the presence of the headset on her head, "okay. Turn on your radio so I know when you're talking to whichever one of them's on lookout!" Twilight was honest with herself: she did kind of like the idea of being a part of the team. Wanting to belong was a basic equine (and maybe also a basic human) trait, and having a radio headset now made that possible. More or less.

Church nodded with Simmons' head and the two of them left the threshold of Red Base into the dark canyon. Twilight saw Church head up the ramp to the top of the base in her peripherals as she briskly trotted straight towards Tucker. The cyan soldier was sitting on the small vehicle that one of the reds had called the "Mongoose." Seeing Twilight coming, Tucker motioned for her to get on the back.

"Y'know, it fucking figures. Finally I get the chance to rescue an alien chick on a badass motorcycle and that alien chick turns out to be closer to a horse than to a human," Tucker sighed, "I mean really? You couldn't just be a _little _human looking? Maybe just a chick with purple skin?"

"I'm sorry the way I was biologically designed isn't satisfactory to you. I'll have to try harder next time!" Twilight's tone could not have been more sarcastic if she tried.

She hopped up onto the back of the Mongoose and reluctantly wrapped her hooves around Tucker's waist, "keep your hands and your comments to yourself!" Though Tucker had said he wasn't… interested in her that way, Twilight still felt like she had to be cautious around him.

Tucker started up the engine to the Mongoose and the two of them took off at a pace that alarmed Twilight. This was both due to the speed at which they accelerated into the darkness of the canyon and the fact that it was deviating from her plan with Church.

"Hey! We were supposed to wait until Church signaled us over the radio!" Twilight shouted over the vehicle's engine.

"He did!" Tucker replied, "didn't you hear him?"

Twilight reached up to her head to feel for her headset. It was still there. So why hadn't she heard anything. Regardless, they were well across the canyon by that point, and the inviting lights of Blue Base awaited.

* * *

Church made sure his radio was turned on and transmitting as he ascended the ramp to the top of Red Base. In truth, he was slightly annoyed that he had to go through all of this trouble to rescue Twilight from the reds. Didn't she have some kind of crazy unicorn magic she could use to escape herself? Regardless, Church made it to the top of Red Base, where he spotted Donut tapping his foot and singing quietly to himself.

"_Let me blow you… away…_"

Church walked up behind Donut and awkwardly cleared Simmons' throat, trying his best to sound like the man in maroon armor he was possessing.

"Uh… hey, Donut! What's… what's kicking?" Church made sure he spoke loud enough so that he'd both get Donut's attention and signal Twilight and Tucker over the radio.

Donut whirled around and greeted the man he thought to be his comrade with a friendly wave, "oh hey, Simmons! I thought I felt someone come behind me!"

Whatever Church was about to say next was cut off by a coughing fit.

"Are you okay Simmons? I hope my meat didn't make you choke!" Donut said with concern, "I know we ate dinner a while ago, but those MREs always get stuck in my teeth for hours!"

Church was so busy dying of awkwardness that he hadn't heard Tucker start up the engine to the Mongoose. Donut however, was not so distracted.

"Hey, what was that?"

"Probably me, choking on my discomfort!" Church stuttered.

Donut was not convinced. He turned around in the direction of the noise just in time to see Tucker and Twilight speed away on the ATV. Church cursed inwardly as Donut let out a drawn out gasp.

"Fuck it…" Church muttered, releasing Simmons from his control and returning to being a transparent white ghost.

"Whuh… what? What's going on?" Simmons asked, wobbling a bit and placing a hand to his forehead.

At this, Donut whirled around and grabbed Simmons by the shoulders, "the blues are taking the unicorn _and_ the Unicorn!"

Simmons remained stiff as a board in Donut's grasp, "Wha…?"

"Twilight Sparkle! I still had so much I wanted to talk to her about! Like whether or not Equestria is a matriarchal society free of male oppression!"

Simmons looked out across the canyon and just caught a glimpse of the taillights of the Mongoose disappear over an incline.

"Okay… what I got from that is Twilight was taken by the blues…" Simmons said.

"I have to tell Sarge about the unicorns!" Donut exclaimed, releasing Simmons and hopping down the large square hole in the top of red Base.

"Okay… I still don't know what the fuck is happening…" Simmons said.

Church was long gone by this point. He figured that by the time anyone else on Red Team learned that Twilight had escaped, she and Tucker would already be safe back at Blue Base. He highly doubted anyone but Donut would be interested in launching a recovery operation this late at night when they were about to be relocated the next morning.

Church simply made his way across the canyon back to the cave where he had hidden his robot body, hoping nothing had fucked with it while he was gone...

* * *

Arcane Star's eyes squinted as he concentrated on the set of wires inside the black robot. Progress on the ship had already been slow going before Twilight Sparkle's disappearance. She must have activated something before vanishing because now the rear entrance to the alien vessel was tightly sealed. With the rest of his team's efforts now focusing on finding a way back inside the ship, Arcane Star found himself returning to the main research tent where the inert alien android was kept.

Day after day he'd spent hours studying the mechanical being, using a variety of spells to study it inside and out. Over time, he began to have an idea of how some of it worked. Currently, he had a small panel in the back of the "neck" open and was carefully replacing fried wires with enchanted copper wires.

"Excuse me, Arcane Star," at the sound of the young mare's voice, Arcane Star looked up from his work and saw a blonde, white coated pony in guard's armor standing in the entrance to the tent.

He recognized her right away as Sunny Side, the young recruit whose family owned a farm in this very town. Her Commanding Officer often assigned her to escort him whenever he'd have to venture into the ship. Her presence was mostly unnecessary, but the two of them had gotten to know each other well and had become fast friends.

"How can I help you, Sunny?"

"Tome Keeper sent me to get you. Said they found something on the hull of the ship."

Arcane Star arched an eyebrow. Tome Keeper was overseeing the team's efforts to cut their way back into the ship. She wasn't supposed to send for him until either they breached the hull or… something else came up. Arcane Star hastily closed the panel on the back of the black robot's neck and moved to join Sunny Side.

"Alright, lead the way!"

As the two ponies left, Arcane Star thought he heard something mechanical whirring in the tent. He chanced a look back only to see the synthetic alien on the operating table where he'd left it.

He followed Sunny Side across the clearing to where the spaceship continued to lie. The two of them passed Javelin Spear, the Commanding Officer of this regiment of the guard. The grizzled stallion acknowledged them with a nod as they approached Tome Keeper and the team of mages tasked with breaking back into the ship. Arcane Star closed the distance between himself and Tome Keeper.

The unicorn mare's once white coat had long since given way to a faded gray, the blue and green hairs that made up her mane not faring much better. The fact that Arcane Star remembered what she looked like in her youth made him realize he was getting pretty old himself.

"What's the situation out here, Tomey?" Arcane Star asked his old friend.

Tome Reader lowered the clipboard she held in her telekinetic grip and looked at Arcane Star, "I think we figured out why the ship suddenly locked us out," she gestured to the side of the ship with a hoof, "you see that computer terminal there?"

Arcane Star followed her hoof and found what she was pointing at. A small screen with several lit up buttons and displays was embedded into a small part of the ship's hull close to the cockpit.

"Our mages found that under a panel when they were trying to cut their way through the hull, but here's the good part: something tried to communicate with us through that terminal. I think one of those alien constructs is inside the ship itself!"

Both of Arcane Star's eyebrows found his forehead, "Incredible! Have you tried communicating back?"

Tome Reader shook her head, "you're the head researcher here, not me!"

Arcane Star turned away from his old friend and gave the exterior terminal another once-over. drawing his breath, the unicorn stallion carefully approached the terminal. When he got closer, he could make out words on the screen.

_Diagnostics:_

_ Engines 1-3 critical meltdown. 98% damage. Offline_

_ Ignition coil 82% damage. Offline._

_ Life support systems 60% damage. Oxygen Depleted._

"Uh… hello? Can you understand me?" Arcane Star tried, not really sure how to proceed with the communication. More words continued to appear on the screen.

_ Emergency thrusters 2-4 91% damage. Offline._

_ Rear stabilizer 79% damage. Offline._

"Hello?" Arcane Star tried tapping the side of the hull next to the terminal, but received nothing for his troubles but more neutral statements declaring the status of the ship's systems. He was just thinking that the alien construct couldn't communicate by oral means when he took another look at the most recent words to appear on screen.

_ Knock knock._

Arcane Star squinted, "Wait… what?"

_ Knock knock._

Arcane Star moved his head back, "Uh… who's there?"

_ Targeting._

Arcane Star took a step back, "targeting who?"

_ A dirty, dirty shisno. Ha ha ha._

His eyes widened at what he saw next.

_ Weapon systems 10% damage. Online._

_ Command: primary weapons activate._

Arcane Star turned and frantically ran toward Tome Keeper and the others, "EVERYPONY! GET DOW-"

A bright flash accompanied by a loud boom shook the entire clearing, sending Arcane Star and everypony else either falling or scrambling to the ground. One of the tents directly in front of the ship was sent flying straight up into the sky by a bright, fiery explosion.

_ Command: thruster 1 activate._

The ponies suddenly heard the high pitched whine of an engine and the ship began to move. Arcane Star struggled to his hooves to get a better look at the alien vessel. At first, he thought it was trying to take off, but then he realized that it only had one engine running. All it was doing was rotating in place on the ground. His jaw dropped open when he realized: it was rotating so that the front was facing him.

Before he could react, Arcane Star was tackled to the ground. At the same moment, a series of loud pops rang in his ears and he heard several whooshing sounds as significantly less explosive but nonetheless just as lethal projectiles whized past. Another loud blast and distant screams indicated that another of the more explosive projectiles had been launched shortly after.

Arcane Star looked up at the pony who had pushed him out of harm's way and saw Sunny Side looking down at him. The young guard recruit suddenly looked over to where the alien ship was still rotating along the ground and saw that the forward facing weapons were once again lined up with the both of them. Sunny shut her eyes and tried to cover Arcane Star with her body, but they both knew it would do no good. They once again heard the sound of several loud pops echo through the clearing, but this time they were suddenly muffled.

Arcane Star and Sunny Side simply lay there for a while, one on top of the other until they were certain they weren't actually dead. Slowly they looked up at the ship to find a large, transparent, blue domed shield was covering the entire spacecraft.

"As much as the head researcher likely enjoys having you on top of him there, Private Side, I think he'll live if you get off of him now!" Tome Keeper's voice rang out.

The pair of them looked over to their side opposite to the ship and saw a grinning Tome Keeper standing beside Commander Javelin Spear. The unicorn CO was channeling power into his horn matching the hue of the domed magical shield now surrounding the ship.

Sunny Side hastily climbed off of Arcane Star, her face suddenly very red. She offered him a hoof to help him up, after which the head researcher dusted himself off. Sunny Side wasted no time in stiffening up her posture to stand at attention before Javelin Spear. Tome Keeper walked up to Arcane Star with a jovial smile.

"You sure have a way with these aliens, Star!"

Arcane Star returned the smile, "indeed. If I have to talk to another it'll be too soon!"

* * *

"Shit, it sounds like you unlocked Gamma," Church said.

Twilight was sitting in the center of Blue Base with Church, Tucker and Caboose. According to Church, Doc had already left due to the fact he wasn't technically part of their squad to begin with. Sister was… no one really seemed to know where Sister was.

Twilight had just finished telling the three blues everything that had happened before she was teleported to Blood Gulch. She told them about the ship, the dead soldier in black armor, the white helmet and the mysterious A.I she found sealed away in the ship's systems.

"Who's Gamma?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, he was this A.I who was kind of a huge jerk that belonged to this guy who was also a huge jerk," Tucker helpfully explained, "we locked him away behind a firewall on board the ship."

"Is there anyone around here who _isn't_ a huge jerk?" Twilight asked.

"I'm nice!" Caboose said.

"Yeah, but you're also an idiot, so it balances out," Tucker said.

"Niceness fading..."

"Okay, so it sounds like after you released Gamma, he activated the time distortion armor ability in the helmet to… transport you here somehow. According to Tex, the time distortion ability functions on the same principles as slipspace technology..." Church mused.

Church immediately noticed the inquisitive look Twilight gave him, "slipspace drives are what ships use for faster-than-light travel. They're translight engines that can transport matter to a series of dimensions called slipstream space. It pretty much lets us take shortcuts through space by bending physics."

"Wait, since when were you an expert on this shit, Church?" Tucker asked.

"Tucker, we learned this shit in basic! Anyone who travels through space has to know this!"

Twilight had completely abandoned thinking about how she arrived in Blood Gulch in favor of this amazing technology. The ability to travel between dimensions? All she wanted at that moment was to learn more about it.

"So, it's like a pocket dimension…" Twilight said to herself. This didn't stop the blues from hearing her, though.

"What's a pocket dimension?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Twilight took an eager breath, "many unicorns with sufficient magic levels make their own pocket dimensions to store and access objects from anywhere. I made mine as my final exam for second year of Celestia's School!"

Of course, Twilight still knew how to access her pocket dimension. She could probably even access whatever she still had in there all the way from where she was in Blood Gulch, but she didn't think she kept anything inside apart from a few books and extra quills. Using her pocket dimension to try to communicate with somepony back in Equestria was out of the question, as she was the only one who knew how to access it. Princess Celestia had been present when she first created her pocket dimension, but it seemed highly unlikely that she would know how to access it after all these years, or for that matter even think to access it.

"Oh yeah, I have one of those!" Caboose said.

"Caboose, I don't think your pocket really qualifies as another dimension," Tucker said.

"I don't know… there's a lot of weird things in there… like gum."

"_Anyway_, Tex hooked up the helmet with the time distortion ability to give the ship the means to travel through slipstream space," Church said, trying desperately to remain on topic, "the only thing that doesn't make sense is how Gamma got it to work on _you_. As an armor ability, it should only have worked on whoever's wearing the armor. It only worked on the ship because it was hooked up directly to the ship's computer…"

"Right… and _I _was connected to the computer with my magic!" Twilight thought carefully about the night she'd been messing with the ship, "there's still one thing that I'd like to know: why would this 'Gamma' program send me here in the first place?"

At the presentation of this question, the blues fell silent. Church scratched the chin of his cobalt helmet, "hmm… Good question. Gamma may have been a lying dick, but as an A.I he'd never do anything without a logical reason…"

Church and the others remained silent as they continued to ponder this mystery.

"I guess why he teleported me doesn't matter for now," Twilight finally said, "what matters is finding a way back…" Twilight was suddenly overcome by a yawn.

"Yeah… it's really late and we're being relocated tomorrow," Tucker sounded like he was suppressing a yawn himself. He didn't quite succeed, "I think we should figure the rest of this out once we're settled in our new base."

As much as Twilight wanted to figure out a solid plan to get home, she couldn't deny she was really tired. She remembered it had been a while since she'd gotten a proper night's sleep, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she was feeling the effects.

"Mmm… now that you mention it, sleep sounds like a pretty good idea…" Twilight yawned again.

When she opened her eyes, Tucker and Caboose were already heading to their quarters. Twilight decided she would find a place to sleep as well. She decided to ask one more question before retiring.

"So, are you guys being relocated to Rat's Nest too?"

Church looked back down at Twilight, looking lost in his thoughts until that moment, "Hmm? Yeah. Wait, actually no. I got different relocation orders from the other guys for some reason. I'm supposed to go to some place called 'High Ground.' I guess you'll come with me so we can work out how to get to your homeworld. I don't think Tucker and Caboose really need to come along."

Twilight put a hoof to her chin, "I wonder why they would separate you from the rest of your squad…"

Church shrugged, "I know, that was really considerate of them. I'll have to send them a thank you card!" Church then reached into a compartment in the side of his armor and produced a small black rectangular object, "here, you can take a look at this datapad if you want. It has all of the information you'd need on where we're going. Exact coordinates, GPS, etcetera."

Twilight took the object in her glowing magic and brought it closer to herself to take a look. The screen was like a tiny computer currently displaying a map. Two locations were marked down: one she was guessing was their current location and the other seemed to be High Ground. Her vision blurred as another yawn activated her tear ducts. She decided that she would study the datapad more closely tomorrow.

Remembering their earlier conversation about pocket dimensions, she decided to access hers for the first time in what felt like ages. The little black datapad disappeared in a flash of light.

"Not gonna lie, that shit still kinda freaks me out," Church said, referring to her magic "I hope you're planning on giving that back!"

"Of course! I just wanted to hold onto it for a little while for further study," Twilight said.

Yes, she realized that putting away one of Church's things someplace where he couldn't reach it was a little rude, but she had no intentions of keeping it. Besides, a part of her felt that she was entitled to be a little bit rude to him back. That same part of her immediately felt guilty for that thought. Since when was she so passive aggressive? Were these people rubbing off on her?

"Yeah, that's fine. You can hold onto it for a bit, I guess," Church said as he turned to leave, "I'm gonna go keep watch up top. Make sure the Reds don't try anything while you're all sleeping."

"Aren't you going to sleep at all?"

Church shrugged, "Nah, I never really get tired. Must be part of the whole 'being a ghost' thing."

"Okay. Uh… goodnight," Twilight said awkwardly.

"Hmm? Yeah, see ya…" Church said noncommittally.

Twilight still had more questions. Specifically, she was curious about Church's interest in the ship. She decided that she'd put her curiosity in check for now. After all, Church was helping her now, and Twilight didn't want to risk making him reconsider. Still, she couldn't help but wonder both about Church's relation with the ship and whether it had anything to do with the name he kept mentioning: Tex.

* * *

Arcane Star gave an anxious sigh as he made his way back to the main research tent. He was still a little shaken up from nearly being blasted by an alien ship. Of course, he had made sure to track down Sunny Side after the whole ordeal was finished to thank her for saving his life.

"Don't mention it! I'm sure a charming guy like you has got a special somepony back home counting on you not to die!" She had said with a shrug.

"Yeah… sure," Arcane Star had decided not to mention that his wife divorced him shortly before he was sent to investigate the troublesome ship.

The very same ship that was quite effectively making Arcane Star forget his personal troubles in favor of entirely new ones. When Tome Reader had called him out to the ship earlier, he thought they were finally making progress. Instead, they'd taken a huge step backwards.

The alien vessel was now constantly under a domed shield that mages in the Royal Guard were taking turns keeping up. The ship, or rather the A.I controlling it hadn't made anymore attempts to attack since the shield first went up, but they weren't sure it would be so well behaved if they decided to lower the shield. In truth, all Arcane Star wanted was another chance to communicate with the alien construct. Despite what the A.I had said (e wasn't sure he really wanted to know the meaning of the word it had used, he did not think its attempt on his life was out of malice. No, the behavior was more reminiscent of a wounded animal, cornered and out of options.

Entering the main research tent, Arcane Star tried pushing all thoughts of the recent events from his mind. No use dwelling on them if there was nothing to be done for now. Might as well just return to work on the… the…

Where did it go? Arcane Star's eyes widened and his heart stopped in his chest as he stared at the large operating table that formerly held the mechanized alien in black armor. Eyes wide and pupils tiny, he looked all around the tent, trembling.

"Oh Celestia, I've seen movies about this…"

He turned around to leave the tent as quickly as he could and came face to face with the black armored alien: alive and fully functioning. His first instinct was to call out for help but the thing moved towards him and grabbed him by the throat at lightning speed.

Arcane Star couldn't struggle nor even move. Fear had shut down all of his primary motor functions as the tall bipedal creature slowly and deliberately pulled him closer toward itself, until its helmeted face was inches from his, staring into him. Instinctively, Arcane Star fired up his horn, but the creature moved to grab it in its other hand faster than he could blink. Then, very much to Arcane Star's surprise, it spoke.

"Where is it?" The alien spoke in a harsh, female voice, "where's Omega?"

"W-what?" Arcane Star squeaked forth. Oddly enough, the main thought running through his head at the moment wasn't how badly he hoped this thing wouldn't kill him. Instead, it was the fact that it not only could talk, but appeared to be female. _I guess Tome Reader owes me twenty bits_.

"My A.I! The one you pulled out of the back of my helmet! _Where is it?_"

"G-gone! It's gone! I tried converting it to an M.I but the conversion failed!"

"You did _what?_" The synthetic creature scrutinized him intensely. It was as if it, or rather she was looking for something in him. Finally, the creature dropped him and stood up to its full height again, "you have no Goddamn idea what you just did, do you? You just made him more dangerous than ever!"

Arcane Star should have screamed for help right there but the way the alien looked down at him, he had the feeling if he did he wouldn't live very long afterwards, "I don't know what you're talking about! The conversion failed… didn't it?"

"Was there anyone else present when you tried converting him? Any other ponies?"

Arcane Star opened his mouth to answer, when what the creature had just said hit him. How did she know they were called ponies? More importantly, how was it she seemed to know about M.I's?

"W-well, yes. There were six mares from Ponyville!"

Arcane Star saw the way the black armored alien clenched its fists and he immediately recoiled, whimpering in anticipation of a blow that never came. He looked up to see the terrifying entity still standing over him.

"If you wanna live, then you have to tell me everything you know about them. What they all look like, and how I can find them!"

* * *

With a content sigh, Twilight Sparkle stretched out on the picnic blanket, taking in the warm Ponyville sun. She smiled happily at all of her friends as they sat around her. To her left, Rarity was working on a crochet with Spike fawning over her. Beside them, Applejack and Rainbow Dash appeared to be in a competition to see who could eat the most picnic food the fastest. To their left, Pinkie Pie was trying her best to start a confetti fight with either one of them. Beside Twilight on her right, Fluttershy sat quietly brewing tea with her pet bunny nestled between her hooves.

Twilight had a book in front of her, but she didn't really feel like reading it. She was simply content to sit in the grassy clearing in the company of her friends. They talked amongst themselves about nothing in particular and occasionally Twilight would speak up, but mostly she just listened to their voices. At the moment, she had nothing to worry about. No monster was threatening Equestria and she didn't have any reports to do. Everything was perfect.

Twilight's ears twitched as she heard a noise a fair distance behind her. Turning to investigate, Twilight was surprised to see Princess Luna standing just outside a line of trees a few feet away, looking at her with a guarded expression.

"Hey, girls! Princess Luna is…" Twilight turned back around and trailed off upon realizing she was talking to an empty clearing. The picnic and all of her friends were gone as if they had never been there at all.

A lump formed in her throat and Twilight's heart sank when she realized what was going on and where she really was. Twilight half expected Luna to be gone when she turned around again, but the night alicorn was instead standing right in front of her, having closed the distance between them without making a sound.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your picnic, Twilight Sparkle. You seemed like you were enjoying yourself," Luna said sincerely

Twilight looked down steadily, expecting to wake up in Blood Gulch any moment. Instead, a dark blue hoof lifted her chin up and she found herself looking into the comforting eyes of Princess Luna. It was then that Twilight remembered a certain ability of Luna's and her face lit up as a little bit of hope returned.

"Are you… really here?" She asked.

Luna nodded, "I'll be sure to let the others know you're alright. I'm certain it will ease their minds greatly."

"How are they all doing?"

Luna hesitated. It looked to Twilight that there was something she wanted to tell her, "they'll be just fine. They've faced worse things before. What of your predicament? I may be able to talk to you here, but there is nothing I can do to bring you back to Equestria."

"All things considered, I'm doing okay!" Twilight said with cautious optimism, "I made contact with the aliens here and I've gotten some of them to agree to help me find a way back home!"

Luna's stoic but concerned expression abruptly broke into a giddy smile, "that is pleasing news, Twilight Sparkle! You've actually talked to the aliens? That's amazing! You must be learning so much!"

"Yeah, I'm learning stuff alright..." Twilight said with a roll of her eyes.

Princess Luna smiled a bit longer before giving way to a more serious look. This one was different from the concerned look she had before. Twilight thought it almost looked… guilty.

"Twilight… I have another reason for contacting you like this. You see… I owe you an apology."

Twilight tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.

"I lied when I told you Celestia was out of the country. When I sent you to investigate that ship, I did so without Celestia's knowledge. In fact, she preferred that you not get involved at all."

Twilight's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water a few times before, "why…?"

"That's what I had hoped to discover in sending you to investigate. Instead, all I did was place you in danger…" Luna was suddenly unable to meet Twilight's eyes.

"I don't blame you for what happened, Luna. Neither should you," Twilight furrowed her brow, "that being said, I don't know why you couldn't just be honest with me!"

Luna returned her gaze to Twilight, "you must understand, when word of the ship first reached Celestia and myself, she started to act… strangely. She and I had faced the forces of darkness and chaos for millennia, but when we were told of that ship..."

Luna closed her eyes and shook her head, "I've only ever seen my sister so frightened one other time..."

Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth, puzzling over what it could all mean as Luna continued.

"I'm worried, Twilight. I've been having dark premonitions. That ship is just the beginning of something far bigger. Celestia knows _something_ about what's coming, but for reasons I can't comprehend she won't tell anyone. Not even those of us who are closest to her."

Twilight suddenly heard a distant voice she recognized as Church, "hey Twilight… Twilight! Wake up!"

"I'm sorry I deceived you, Twilight. But I have to know what Celestia is hiding."

The green plain outside Ponyville began to vanish and Princess Luna with it. As Twilight started to become aware of her surroundings in Blue Base, Luna's words lingered.

"The fate of Equestria could be at stake..."

* * *

Church stood outside of Blue Base, the early morning sun just coming up over the canyon walls. Beside him was a small pile of duffel bags and crates full of the team's things. Gripping his sniper rifle firmly in hand, Church tapped his foot anxiously as he waited for the vehicle from Command to arrive.

"Hey, Church? Can we talk real quick?" Church turned around to see Tucker walking out of the base's front entrance with some sort of case in his hand, "since Twilight's an undiscovered species of alien, what do you think the guys from Command are gonna do once they find out about her?"

Church sighed, "I know, I've been trying to figure out what to do all night! I don't want to lose my chance to find Tex because the people at Command want to take Twilight to some lab for research or something!"

"Well, I was looking through a bunch of my stuff, and I found something I ordered back when I had Junior," Tucker explained, holding up the case in his hand. It was an empty beige box with a grated door on the front.

Church immediately knew what Tucker had in mind, "Huh, that might actually work!"

"Yeah, Twilight's gonna be pissed though!"

* * *

Twilight stood alone outside the rear entrance to Blue Base, her dream conversation with Luna still repeating in her mind. The things that Luna told her unsettled Twilight more than words could describe. She knew lingering on them would do her no good though. She instead opted to focus on her current problem: finding a way back home.

For what felt like the dozenth time, Twilight reached up to her headset and pushed the button to transmit.

"Hello, Church? Can you hear me?" Twilight waited for a response yet again, and yet again received none. At least, not from the person she expected.

"Hey! Twilight!"

Twilight recognized the slightly deeper voice immediately, "Simmons? Why does the radio only work with you?"

"I'm not talking to you on the radio. I'm behind you!"

Twilight turned around and sure enough, she spotted the soldier in maroon armor step out from behind a rock.

"Oh…" Twilight lowered her hoof from her headset and walked over to where Simmons was hiding, "what are you doing here?"

"Sarge sent me to do some last minute spying on the Blues before we moved to our new bases," Simmons said, "I also realized that since you're using the radio from Donut's old helmet, no one's probably changed the batteries in a really long time!"

Simmons pulled out a pair of small cylindrical metal objects and showed Twilight how to change the batteries in her headset.

"There! Those should last you for a while!"

"Thanks, Simmons!" Twilight gave him a friendly smile, "I'm sorry for running away from you guys, but Church's agreed to help me find a way back home!"

"Oh, that's cool!" Simmons exclaimed. His gaze shifted downwards steadily, "actually, I also thought I'd take this opportunity to say goodbye. I gotta say, it was kinda nice having someone to talk to for awhile who doesn't think I'm a total nerd!"

"Oh, I definitely think you're a total nerd!" Twilight giggled, giving Simmons a playful jab with her hoof, "but I guess I'm not really one to talk!"

Both of them then heard the sound of a Warthog's engine over at the front of Blue Base.

"Well, sounds like I need to get going," Twilight said.

Simmons nodded, "yeah, I should probably get back to Red Base."

With that, Twilight Sparkle turned to make her way to the front of Blue Base.

"Good luck with the whole... finding a way home thing!" Simmons called out as he began making his way around the other side of the base.

"Thanks, Simmons! Maybe I'll send you an interplanetary postcard!"

As she walked around the outside of Blue base, Twilight couldn't keep the happy grin off her face. Her radio was working again and she was on her way to getting back to Equestria. Things were finally working out for her! She saw Church and Tucker heading around to meet her halfway. However, not even they could ruin her good mood.

"Hey guys! I got my radio working! I can officially be part of the team now!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's great, Twilight!" Church hastily said, depositing some kind of beige crate with holes in the sides and an open metal grate on the front, "listen, I need you to do us a huge solid and get inside this dog crate for the trip!"

Twilight looked from the dog crate to Church and Tucker, "what did I ever do to you guys?"

Before Twilight knew it, she was lying down inside a cramped dog crate being loaded onto the back of a jeep along with the rest of Blue Team's stuff. Church, Tucker and Caboose all hopped into the seats in the back of the jeep and soon they were driving away from the small concrete structure in Blood Gulch that served as Blue Base.

As they did, Twilight couldn't help but get this feeling that they were forgetting something…

* * *

"Helloooo? I'm ready for our road trip! Where the fuck is everybody?"

Simmons was walking along a cliff high up on the side of one of the canyon walls when he heard a familiarly ditzy female voice echo throughout Blood Gulch. He turned around and looked back in the direction of Blue Base. Standing alone outside the small building was a single soldier in yellow armor wondering around aimlessly. Had the Blues left without her?

"Interesting…" Simmons muttered as he turned around and headed back towards Red Base double time.

Soon, he was walking up to Grif and Sarge, who were helping the man in gray armor from Command load their bags into the back of an M831 Troop Transport Warthog variant. The vehicle looked just like a regular warthog jeep, only instead of a gun turret on the back it had four seats along the sides. Grif was only loading in all of the light bags. One at a time. Very, very slowly. Simmons walked up to him.

"Hey, Grif. Working hard to contribute as usual, I see!" Simmons said. He then took a look around. Someone was missing, "hey, where's Donut?"

"He left with some guys from Command while you were out reconning," Grif explained. Simmons ignored his made up word, "they said something about his experience with the aliens and getting him debriefed. Suffice to say, Donut was more thrilled about the prospect than he probably should have been."

"Yeah…" Simmons nodded, "wait, by alien did they mean Twilight?"

"Nah, I think they were talking about the aliens we were at war with. You know, the ones that _aren't_ totally lame?"

"But, that doesn't make sense! Donut doesn't have any experience with those aliens!" Simmons pointed out, "if anyone in this canyon needs to be debriefed on them, it would probably be Tucker…"

"Ah, Simmons!" Sarge exclaimed, marching over to Grif and him, "Get any good last minute intel on those dirty Blues?"

"Well, I've confirmed that they definitely have Twilight again," Simmons started.

"Wait, the Blues took back our baby horse alien?" Sarge asked, "When did that happen?"

"Last night! I thought Donut woke you up to tell you as soon as it happened! I was wondering why you weren't ordering an immediate counterattack."

"Simmons, if I declared a Red Alert every time Donut came into my room at night talking about unicorns, we'd never get any sleep!"

It was then that the driver of the troop transport, a soldier in light gray armor with a different looking helmet from the assembled reds approached them, "alright guys, hop in. it's time to move out!"

Sarge turned and walked towards the transport jeep, "Right! Now, if you haven't got anything else to report, let's saddle up and hit the road!"

It was then that Simmons remembered the strange thing that he saw on the way back from Blue Base, "oh, that's right! It looks like the Blues have left one of their soldiers behind!"

Sarge froze in the middle of climbing into the back of the jeep. He slowly turned his helmeted head to look at Simmons, the rest of his body in suspended animation.

"... What?"

"The Blues have already left for their new base, but one of them is still over there!"

Sarge hopped off the side of the jeep and pulled out his shotgun, cocking the barrel dramatically, "I knew it! It was a trap all along!"

"Sir…?"

"If we leave now while one single Blue remains in this canyon, it means they've won! I should've known that's what they were planning!"

"It honestly looks like they just forgot her…"

"Who cares if the Blues won this fucking canyon, I just want to get the fuck out of it!" Grif exclaimed, hopping into the back of the troop transport.

"Hmph! I expected as much from you, Grif!" Sarge turned to face Simmons, "c'mon, Simmons! We have a battle to finish here!"

Simmons looked from Grif to Sarge uneasily, "normally I would agree with you, sir. But we have orders from Command and I think we should follow them!"

Simmons turned around and climbed into the back of the jeep. The driver from Command walked around and approached Sarge.

"We're running late now. Get in or I'm leaving you!" the soldier in light gray armor said firmly.

Sarge looked up at Grif and Simmons, while he fidgeted with his shotgun, "I told you: I never leave a fight unfinished, or a blue unkilled!"

The driver turned around, "suit yourself. Guess we'll have to find this squad a new sergeant..."

Simmons didn't take his eyes off Sarge as the man in red stood defiantly in front of Red Base. Not even as the jeep pulled away and Sarge and their home for five years got smaller and smaller with distance.

* * *

Church looked up as the Troop Transport they were riding in pulled to a stop in the underground garage where the Command Checkpoint was. The drive had taken them all morning but they were finally at their first stop.

The facility was built into a cave, with natural rock making up the walls and ceiling alongside metal and concrete. Looking off to the side, Church could see a landing pad outside the cave with a Pelican dropship resting on it. Behind it, nestled into the rock of a tall cliff was the concrete facade of their first destination: Rat's Nest.

Three more soldiers from Command approached their jeep for inspection. Church tried not to let just how on edge he was show. This plan had better work.

"Hey, what's with the armor you guys are all wearing?" Tucker asked as he and Caboose got up to disembark.

Church had actually been wondering that himself. The gray armor that all of the Command troops wore looked different from himself and the rest of his squad. Mostly it was the helmets. The visors were more angular than the ones on the Blues' helmets and seemed to protrude slightly. Additionally, the helmets themselves were more rounded. There seemed to be minor variations in the armor itself as well, but they were less noticeable.

"_Our_ armor? This is the standard for everyone in the program. _You're_ the ones wearing outdated equipment!" The Command soldier who appeared to be in charge stated.

"Shit, guess we need to upgrade," Church muttered. He then looked over at Caboose, who was standing behind the jeep with Tucker, "hey, Caboose! I need you to remember something very important: upgrade your armor as soon as you get to your new base!"

"Okay!" Caboose said.

"I'm serious: you have Mark Six armor right now. Make sure you get whichever model is higher than six!" Church spoke slowly and carefully so as not to confuse him.

"Don't worry Church! I'll be so high above six I'll be able to see my house!"

Church heard a certain snarky female voice, "Wow, Church. You're worse than my mom on my first day at Celestia's School!"

Church didn't even look at her as he hopped off the back of the vehicle and forcefully whispered, "hey! Quiet! You'll blow everything!"

At that moment another of the soldiers from Command approached Church and the Blues as they all stood around behind the vehicle they arrived in, "okay, Private Church?"

"That's me."

"You can board the ship outside just as soon as we've checked your bags."

"Wait, you're taking me there with a ship? Isn't that a bit overkill for one guy?" Church asked.

The Command soldier shrugged, "the guys in charge really wanna make sure you make it to your new base safely for some reason," the gray soldier then began looking through Church's bags and immediately noticed a certain beige dog crate, "uh… is that an animal?"

"Yes. This is my dog: George."

The "dog" in question gave a tired, annoyed sigh, "bark bark. Bark," it was the least enthusiastic barking ever uttered.

The Command soldier studied Twilight Sparkle intensely for what felt like a whole minute before turning around to address his superior. The two gray soldiers conversed for a few seconds before the one inspecting Church's stuff returned.

"Yeah, it's against regulations for you to keep a pet on frontline military facilities."

"What? Says who?" Church demanded.

"Says the regulations!"

Church exchanged an uneasy glance with Twilight. The purple pony seemed just as aware of the severity of the situation as he, "but… I need her! She's my… seeing eye dog!"

"Wait, you're blind?"

"Uh, yes! Blind as a bat!" Church desperately exclaimed.

"If you need proof, watch him try to hit something with his sniper rifle!" Tucker said, receiving a glare from Church.

"So... how does a dog help you aim?" The Command soldier asked.

Church hesitated, "two barks means I'm on target. One bark I'm not. Watch!"

After nudging Twilight's crate a couple of times, Church raised his sniper rifle in the general direction of Caboose, but intentionally aimed far to his left.

"Uh, bark…" Twilight stated, putting zero effort into her dog imitation. Church moved his sniper rifle horizontally in Caboose's direction.

"Bark…"

Church adjusted his aim until he was pointing straight at Caboose.

"Bark-bark… bark-bark," Twilight sighed.

Church lowered his sniper rifle and turned back around to face the Command soldier, "yes, I realize it's not a perfect system, but it's _our system_!"

The Command soldier just put a hand on his chin and after a few seconds consideration, shook his head, "I'm sorry, but there are proper UNSC approved methods to assist handicapped soldiers. The dog has to go!"

"_Dammit!_" Church swore as the Command soldiers offloaded the rest of his bags, leaving a very distressed looking Twilight sitting in the dog crate on the back of the transport jeep.

With Church's bags offloaded, one of the gray Command soldiers tapped the side of the jeep a few times and it began driving away with Twilight.

"NO! GEORGE!" Caboose yelled, "Don't take George away! We have a special friendship! Not as special as my friendship with Church but still! You can't separate a boy from his dog! The power of our love will bring us together again!"

Church suddenly realized that he was being lead away. One of the Command soldiers had him by the arm and was gently leading him outside to the dropship.

"I just want to say: you're very brave for joining the army in spite of your disability," the gray soldier said. "you know, my friend's sister is blind!"

Church growled, "I hate all of existence."


	6. Act 1 Part 6 - Land of Enemies

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_How is everything going? Have you made any progress on figuring out where Twilight is? The girls and I are all really worried about her, but we're managing. Mostly._

_This actually brings me to the reason why I'm writing you: something's wrong with Pinkie Pie. Like,_really_ seriously wrong. The therapist said that she is suffering from dise disa that thing where she thinks she's two different people. The therapist said that it was brought on by a traumatic experience or something._

_The others think it's because she's worried about Twilight, but I'm not so sure. Pinkie's faith in her friends - especially Twilight - is so strong that she _never_ worries, even when they're in trouble. Rainbow Dash seems to think Pinkie was acting strange before Twilight went missing. Like, around the time Arcane Star did his experiment on the alien M.I._

_If there is anything you can do, please let us know. We're all just as worried about Pinkie now as we are about Twilight._

_Your faithful dragon,_

_Spike_

Act 1 Part 6 - Land of Enemies

It took all of Twilight Sparkle's resolve to maintain steady breathing and _not_ panic as she was transported to this "Freelancer Command" she kept hearing about in the back of the transport jeep. The vehicle had made a brief stop early on to pick up a couple more gray armored Command troops before continuing on its way.

She had been reluctant at first to go along with Church's plan to pretend to be a simple animal, but he knew more about how the human military worked than she did. He had told her that Command would likely try to acquire her for research purposes, keeping her under lock and key and never letting her return home. She'd thought he may have been exaggerating or paranoid, but something about these Command soldiers deeply unsettled her.

Twilight couldn't really describe it, but she had this... feeling. Like there was something more to these soldiers than the cold efficiency that she had been privy to for the admittedly short time. Being around them was surreal. The juxtaposition between these gray soldiers and the red and blue ones she spent the last day with was huge. It was as if the Reds and the Blues she'd met were merely a parody of real soldiers. Twilight would have thought that being around troops displaying actual military decorum would be a relief after the Blood Gulch men. Instead, she was just unnerved for reasons she couldn't even explain.

It was for this reason that Twilight remained silent, keeping up her admittedly thin canine ruse. She figured it would be much easier for her to escape if they thought she was a dog than if they knew she was an intelligent life form with magical capabilities. So Twilight stayed silent, however she did not stay idle.

As they drove, Twilight watched the driver and carefully studied everything he did. Over the hours they spent driving, she figured out that the wheel in front of the driver was what steered the vehicle. Additionally, the driver's legs seemed to be operating pedals that controlled the acceleration on the floor. Her plan was simple: wait for them to lock her up, escape, steal one of these vehicles and make her way back to Church.

Twilight's hopes for a relatively simple escape were dashed when the vehicle passed another security checkpoint, drove through a gate and entered the Command facility proper. Her eyes widened and her ears drooped as she looked upon the hot, dusty expanse full of fortified concrete bunkers as far as the eye could see. Patrols of infantry and armored vehicles criss crossed every path in the facility and in the distance, Twilight could see several massive dish shaped objects pointing at the sky.

Twilight was so busy taking in her intimidating but admittedly impressive surroundings, that she hadn't even noticed they had arrived in front of one of the structures until she was being unloaded by the men in gray armor. In short order, she was brought through an open doorway into the simple but well kept building.

"Sir, we have several confiscated belongings here, the most prominent of which being… some kind of animal," one of the men carrying her crate reported to a soldier behind a desk, putting the container she was in down on the floor beside him. She was facing away from the desk in the general direction of the entrance to the building.

"An animal, huh?" The one behind the desk asked.

"Yeah, the sim trooper in possession of it claimed it's a dog, but I've never seen anything like it."

Twilight prayed to whichever Princess controlled the sun here that they wouldn't figure out she wasn't a dog. She then reflected on the fact that just the other day she had continually insisted that she wasn't anything but a pony.

As the soldier continued conversing with the man behind the desk, Twilight heard more footsteps as announcing the entrance of another soldier. A pair of white armored legs appeared before her.

"...Well, we don't exactly have a kennel here, buddy," the man behind the desk said.

"There must be someplace we can keep it, this was some guy's seeing eye dog!"

It was then that a third voice entered the conversation. One that Twilight realized came from the soldier that just entered the room.

"Ugh, can you chaps move this along? I'd like to check in sometime this decade, if you please," The soldier said in a dry, sarcastic tone. He spoke in a stuffy accent that greatly reminded Twilight of the more pompous nobles of Canterlot.

"Oh, Agent Wyoming! Welcome back, sir!" The man behind the desk greeted, "may I ask how your latest mission went?"

"Well, if success can be measured by the amount of time travel copies of oneself slaughtered; I daresay it went swimmingly!"

Time travel? What was he talking about? Twilight remembered her talk with Church the other night about such technology, but the only thing that made it possible was the device inside the white…

Twilight looked up at the man the others referred to as Wyoming and gasped loudly when she found herself looking at the exact same white helmet she found on the ship that had been responsible for bringing her here. Unfortunately, her shocked gasp did not go unnoticed by the soldiers in the room.

"Huh… never heard a dog make that noise before. Maybe it's hungry..." the man who carried her in said.

Twilight's ears fell and her head lowered as all eyes on the room were on her. It was dawning on her just how many options she was running out of. In hindsight, she should have tried to escape while they were still on the road.

Wyoming crouched down to Twilight's level to study her more closely. Something was off about the way he looked at her. He didn't seem shocked or surprised. Instead he just appeared… intrigued.

"Well, well, this is certainly interesting. And just what are you doing all the way out in our neck of the woods, eh?" Wyoming leaned forward and Twilight's skin began to crawl, "come now, don't be shy. _I know you can talk_!"

"Uh, sir? Why are you talking to that dog?"

Wyoming stood back up to address the other men in the room, "you have no idea what this is, do you?" He then looked back at Twilight. She didn't need to see his face to know he was grinning, "no matter. If that's the case, I'll be quite happy to take this off your hands and deliver it to the right people!"

Wyoming gave a sinister chuckle that sent a wave of chills washing over Twilight, "and here I was thinking I'd be returning to Project Freelancer empty handed!"

Despite entire millennia of evolution, gut instinct has a funny way of completely taking over in stressful situations. No matter how smart someone may be, when adrenaline is pumping through their veins and fear for their life is kicking in, it always comes down to two basic instincts: fight or flight.

Flight was currently out of the question for Twilight, being inside a small cage. Naturally, that left fight. An exceptionally powerful unicorn consumed by a "fight" instinct can be quite a force to be reckoned with, as Wyoming and the two Command troops learned when Twilight's horn started glowing. A blast of magical energy shattered the crate that contained her into several pieces and knocked the three soldiers in the room off of their feet.

Twilight's horn powered down and now that she was freed from the confines of the crate, flight replaced fight. Twilight Sparkle saw the late afternoon light outside the front entrance and ran for it, eyes wide with panic. Wyoming slowly pulled himself to his feet.

"Get up you bloody buffoons! Don't let her escape!"

* * *

Pinkie Pie felt nothing as she stepped into her bedroom. The special talking doctor had said that she was sick and that her new friend O'Malley wasn't even a real pony. That had been what frightened Pinkie Pie the most: that all of those angry, horrible thoughts that she had about doing… bad things to her friends weren't placed there by some other entity. They were all _her own_ thoughts. That was why Pinkie had been so eager to get away from her friends. She had been afraid of what she might do to them.

It was also why Pinkie didn't protest when the doctor pony gave her the tasteless candy that she said would help Pinkie get rid of those thoughts. Pinkie hated the little multicolored capsules. They didn't make her feel bad or anything, but that was just the problem: they didn't make her feel anything. Not scared, not angry and most importantly: not happy. She wanted to smile, but she couldn't even do _that_ right anymore. It always looked wrong whenever she tried it. Pinkie always thought that not being able to smile would be the worst thing ever, but because of those pills she took, she couldn't even feel sad.

Pinkie sighed, considering just climbing into bed and sleeping the rest of the day away.

"**Come on, Pinkie Pie! There is far too much evil to be done to go to sleep now!**"

With a start, Pinkie whirled around. She found herself looking in the full-body mirror she always used when trying on silly costumes. To her surprise, the pony looking back at her was smiling. It still looked wrong though, but different. It looked like a pony who was happy for the wrong reasons.

"O'Malley? But… how?"

"**I can't believe those foolish fools think that I'm just a part of you! I all but told that therapist fool what I really am!**"

"What you really are?" Pinkie tilted her head in confusion. Her reflection repeated the motion, but kept giving her that wrong smile.

"**Remember that fool Arcane Star's 'failed' experiment with the A.I?**" Pinkie's reflection asked, adding air quotes to the word "failed."

Pinkie gave a loud gasp, "you mean that scary thing was _you_?"

The other Pinkie let out a maniacal laugh, "**I suppose I should thank him. Now there is nowhere I can't go! No one I can't possess to further my plans to take over the universe! Ha ha ha haaaa!**"

Pinkie looked on with growing unease as her reflection continued to laugh, filling her mind with more thoughts of what it wanted to do. Despite the drugs in her system, Pinkie's heart beat faster and she felt an unpleasant sensation in her stomach. At least at first.

It came to Pinkie Pie with sudden clarity: if this thing in her head really was an alien and not a product of her own mind, then these terrible thoughts she kept having about hurting her friends weren't her own after all. Her brow furrowed with determination as she messed up her straight mane until a little bit of its gravity defying nature returned.

"Now you listen here: you may be the meanest meanie-pants to ever not wear pants, but I won't let that stop me from being your friend!" Pinkie proclaimed, glaring right back at her laughing reflection. She knew everything would be okay when she felt a smile form on her own face. This one didn't feel wrong anymore, "you'll see! You, me and everypony else will all be super best friends and we'll have a party together complete with cake! Preferably chocolate! But maybe strawberry!"

O'Malley put Pinkie's hoof to her chin in mock contemplation, "**A party you say? Ooh, I have an idea that's to ****_die for_****! Let's throw a party! Yes… and we'll invite all of your friends over! We'll show them all a good time they won't soon forget…**"

* * *

Her chest burned and her hooves were sore, but still Twilight ran. She ran over dirt roads and weaved around rocks, trees and artificial structures. She had quickly learned not to give her pursuers a clear line of sight to her, as the ever increasing number of gray soldiers chasing her had not hesitated to open fire on their quarry. After blasting her way out of her crate and escaping the building, Twilight had hoped it would take the rest of the troops a while to realize they had a loose alien in their facility. Instead, a blaring sound that Twilight could only guess was an alarm went off and she found herself with at least a dozen troops on her tail, taking pot shots at her whenever they had an opening.

Twilight wasn't sure why the prospect of high-powered projectile weapons hadn't terrified her before when she was in Blood Gulch. It was probably because the men in Blood Gulch weren't out to get her, let alone in such a ruthlessly organized fashion. Still, despite the numerous chances they had to shoot her, none of their shots hit their mark. Twilight assumed they were all either really bad shots or she was really lucky.

"Grenade out!" One of them yelled.

It was not until a small round explosive device about the size of her hoof landed off to her left and detonated that she realized that maybe they weren't trying to hit her at all. The concussive blast so close to her caused Twilight to panic and suddenly adjust her course to the right, turning to round the corner of one of the concrete metal bunkers. She ran up a slope into a darker area covered in the shade of the nearby cliff, and realized that she had been corralled right into the path of a large tank and a handful of other gray soldiers.

As she turned tail to run the other way, Twilight couldn't help but notice what looked like a small trench next to the tank that ambushed her. It looked like it lead to a rear entrance to the bunker she'd just run past. An idea to shake her pursuers formed in her mind as she ran back down the slope from the pursuing tank and infantry.

The tank fired a shot from its main cannon right over Twilight's head, the shell exploding several feet in front of her. The shot was meant to divert her left the way she came… right into the soldiers that had been chasing her on foot. Twilight knew better than to fall for it this time though, instead choosing to run through the smoke and settling dirt from the tank's blast.

Twilight ran straight for a cluster of large rocks, where she knew her pursuers would lose their line of sight on her again. Another bunker lay past the rocks and Twilight could see another handful of gray soldiers charging out of the building and climb into Warthogs parked outside. They would have had her completely surrounded if she didn't have a plan.

Diving between a pair of large boulders in a way so that she was completely out of sight for a moment, Twilight fired up her horn and visualized the trench in the shade of the cliff, remembering every last detail she could. After a bright flash and slight dizziness, Twilight was now once again standing in the shade of the cliffs with the trench leading into the base in front of her. The tank and squad of soldiers that had been here moments earlier were gone, now in the center of the facility where the rest of her pursuers were gathering.

Twilight turned to look at the distant rocks from which she had teleported. A small army of the gray soldiers were gathered around her former hiding place and looking around in confusion.

"Hmm… now where did you go...?" Twilight had to shove her own hooves into her mouth to keep from gasping again and carefully looked over to her left.

Standing on the roof of the bunker was the soldier in white armor who had started this whole chase: Wyoming. The man was currently facing away from Twilight; looking out onto the rest of the facility through a long scoped rifle just like the one Church had. He had likely been up there watching the chase since it began, and Twilight had the feeling that he was a much better shot with that rifle than Church was.

To Twilight's immediate panic, Wyoming lowered his sniper rifle with a frustrated grunt. Twilight dove into the trench as Wyoming began to turn in her direction. She hugged her back to the trench wall closest to him as tightly as she could and held her breath. Twilight's heart raced as she listened to Wyoming's footsteps on the dirt above her. She bit her lip as his footsteps grew louder and louder in her right ear, then began growing softer in her left.

After a few moments, Wyoming's footsteps were gone completely. Twilight slowly got back down on all four hooves and crept into the back entrance of the bunker. After descending a set of stairs, she carefully poked her head into the building and looked in each direction. Only after she was sure that no one was inside did she finally collapse through the gateway to relative safety and let out a huge breath.

Twilight stood in the empty room for several seconds, taking in huge gulps of air. Once she had caught her breath, Twilight began anxiously pacing, her brain running at full speed now that her body wasn't.

"Okay, Twilight! Calm down, remember the proper breathing strategies you've been practicing!" Twilight said as she took a long breath through her nose and letting it out through her mouth, "okay, don't panic. Panic leads to bad decisions! Need to think rationally…"

Twilight was aware that it was a possibility that someone could have heard her as she talked aloud to herself, but she didn't care. At that moment, she just needed to hear something that wasn't either the yelling of hostile soldiers or high-powered weapons-fire.

"Okay… plan. Plan, plan, plan…" Twilight muttered, "all I have to do is find a way to escape a big, secure, futuristic military base full of guys that are all looking for me and find the base Church was moved to despite having never been there before… Ugh! I am so bucked..."

Twilight shut her eyes and her mouth. Talking out loud was proving to be less helpful the more she did it. She decided she'd just tackle her problems one at a time.

First thing was first: escaping the facility. For a moment, Twilight considered teleporting again as an option, but quickly realized why it was a bad idea. In order for the teleport spell to work, she had to picture her destination clearly in her mind: the more detailed the mental image the more likely the teleport would be successful. The trench behind the base had been fresh in her mind at the time, but she wasn't sure she could picture any of the other places she'd been to thus far clearly enough to safely teleport again.

Not only that, but the act of teleporting itself was incredibly strenuous, especially with distance. Once, she had teleported both herself and a few of her friends across half of Equestria to escape a group of adolescent dragons and paid for it later on with a major concussion and the occasional migraine that plagued her even to this day. As Twilight had found out later, a teleport of that magnitude had only a 0.1 percent chance of succeeding without turning her brain into goo. No, teleporting was out of the question. Nopony in the history of creation could be that lucky twice.

Looking away to clear her mind of that grim train of thought, Twilight saw a sign with a silhouette image of a Warthog and the word "motor pool" with an arrow pointing down a nearby set of stairs. She decided she'd go with her initial plan of stealing one of their jeeps. It was all just a matter of whether she'd be able to drive one. Twilight was pretty sure she had the basics down from watching the guy driving the transport she arrived in, but figured there would also be more to it. She'd have to cross that bridge when she reached it.

The next thing Twilight had to figure out was how she would find Church. She knew the place he had been relocated to was called High Ground, but she didn't have the faintest idea where that was. She might be able to go find Tucker and Caboose at Rat's Nest, but even her knowledge of where that was relative to her current location was sketchy at best. If only she had remembered the details of the map on the datapad Church had given her…

Twilight's eyes suddenly shot open. That was it! Summoning more magic to her horn, Twilight quickly found and ignited the specific series of leylines that let her access her pocket dimension. A certain black rectangular object materialized before her.

Twilight smiled when she found the button to turn it on and was rewarded with the image of a map of the area complete with a functioning real time GPS.

"Maybe I'm not bucked!"

* * *

Arcane Star could not imagine things being any more bucked. Not much more than an hour had passed since Tome Reader found him unconscious inside the main research tent, asking him what had happened to the alien in black armor. Arcane Star wasn't sure how, but the creature had escaped the encampment without being seen by any of the guards or researchers.

The older stallion had just left the medical tent after being treated for minor head injuries. He briskly trotted towards the far side of the clearing, where the source of all of his problems lay protected by a magical barrier.

He approached the unicorn guard currently working on maintaining the shield spell over the ship.

"You there! I need you to let me into that barrier!" Arcane Star ordered.

The guard turned around and looked at him uneasily, "You sure? After everything that's happened?"

"It's _because_ of everything that's happened that I'm sure!" Arcane Star gave the unicorn guard an authoritative glare.

The guard seemed like he wanted to argue further, but knew better than to do so with a superior, "Okay, but I strongly advise against this, sir!"

The guard's horn glowed brighter for a split second and the shield covering the ship flickered briefly, indicating it was now safe for anypony marked as a "friendly" to pass through. Arcane Star did exactly that and marched right up to the small terminal in the side of the ship.

"Knock. Knock!" He said, scrutinizing the small screen intensely as once again words appeared.

_ Who's there?_

"A pony who wants answers!"

_ A pony who wants answers, who?_

"A pony who wants answers, _now!_"

There was a pregnant pause before new text appeared on the computer screen.

_ That one wasn't very funny._

"That's because it wasn't a joke!" Arcane Star spoke in a low voice as his brows lowered, "I want to know more about this ship. What was its purpose? Who's the person in black armor?"

_ This is a simple transport ship. Agent Texas is its pilot._

"No, there has to be more to it than that!" Arcane Star sighed as he ran a hoof through his mane, "both she and you either threatened to kill me or outright tried to. There must be something about this ship that has the both of you worried."

The onboard A.I gave no reply, "This is about the other A.I isn't it? The one that I converted? Omega?"

_ The Omega A.I is the least of your concerns. He, Agent Texas and myself all want the same thing: to get as far away from here as possible._

Arcane Star sighed and folded his hooves, "I assure you, you have nothing to fear from us! All we want is to learn from you!"

_ It is not you we are afraid of._

A cold chill suddenly washed over Arcane Star as more words appeared on the screen.

_ The Beacon was sent the moment we crashed._

It_ is coming._

_ It will come for me, Omega and Agent Texas. It will kill anyone that gets in Its way._

Arcane Star's eyebrows slowly made their way up, "It...?"

It took a few seconds for the program to formulate a response.

_ The Great Destroyer._

* * *

Lieutenant Miller raised a single eyebrow as a Warthog drove down the tunnel toward him. The Blue Team Leader had served at Outpost 28-A: Rat's Nest for a few years now and had served in Blue Army for even longer. As such, the man had seen a lot of strange things. The two new recruits that Command had sent to his unit were by far two of the strangest individuals the Lieutenant had ever met in his career and possibly his life.

One of them was just heading back from his first patrol with… something in the bed of his jeep. Lieutenant Miller pulled up the personnel files uploaded to his HUD so he could remember the name of the man in the greenish-blue armor that was driving down the underground tunnel towards him. Lavernius Tucker.

"Private Tucker! Back from patrol already?" Miller asked as Tucker slowed his vehicle, stopping beside his Commanding Officer.

"Hell yeah! Uh, sir!" Tucker hopped out of the jeep.

Miller didn't miss the way he said "sir" as more of an afterthought than anything else. His former Commander must have been pretty lax with formalities. Miller decided to press the issue later, instead focusing on what was really on his mind at the moment.

"And what exactly have you got in that big crate back there?"

Tucker turned to look at the crate in question, nustled snugly into the rear bed of the turretless Warthog.

"Oh, this? It's all the extra ammo I picked up!"

Now both eyebrows had reached the top of Lieutenant Miller's helmet, "extra ammo? Why Tucker, where did you ever get all of that?"

In truth, Miller's team in Rat's Nest had been starting to run low on ammo and the blue Lieutenant was getting worried they'd run out before the next shipment.

"Oh, uh… let's just say I have connections over at Red Base."

Miller tilted his head back and forth. He had his doubts when the new recruits joined his unit but Miller had to admit: Tucker was showing great initiative and had done his squad a huge service. Who knows? With time, the young man may prove to be one of his most trusted soldiers. Maybe the other man he was shipped with would prove useful as well. He did say he was a vehicle expert after all.

"Well that's nice work, Private Tucker! Why don't you take all of that into the base?"

"Sure thing, dude! Uh, I mean sir!" With that, Tucker hopped back into the jeep and drove past Miller, continuing down the expansive underground tunnel around the corner leading to Blue Base.

As Lieutenant Miller watched him go, he saw another one of his soldiers in blue armor with beige detail walking toward him.

"Something you need, Private Joe-Ennis?" Miller asked.

Joe-Ennis gave a frustrated sigh, something he did every time someone addressed him for some reason.

"We've got a problem, sir. It's the new guy," Joe-Ennis explained in his tired British voice.

"What, Tucker? He's been doing a pretty good job so far!" Miller then noticed the slight trail of crimson running down Joe-Ennis' leg.

"Not Tucker, sir. The other one."

Miller raised a hand to his chin, "Caboose?"

Joe-Ennis nodded.

"Okay. Lead the way, Joe-Ennis."

"Jones…" Joe-Ennis muttered with a sigh.

He turned and started walking back to base and Lieutenant Miller followed. As they walked, Miller couldn't help but notice Joe-Ennis was walking with a slight limp.

"What happened to your leg, Joe-Ennis?"

Joe-Ennis grunted, "you'll understand soon enough, sir."

Soon enough, Lieutenant Miller and Joe-Ennis reached Blue Base, more specifically the area outside of the base proper where they parked their vehicles. Lieutenant Miller understood.

"No! Bad Sheila! No more fire!" The other new recruit was standing on top of their now burning tank, scolding the flames as they consumed it.

"Private Caboose? What is the meaning of this?" Miller asked, dumbfounded.

Caboose turned and gave Miller a friendly wave as more fire appeared behind him, "oh, hi Principal Miller! I was just fixing the tank!"

Miller noticed the man was wearing a different helmet from when he first arrived. He had told both of the new additions to his squad that their armor was outdated and they needed to upgrade, but Caboose's current helmet actually looked like an even older model.

"Uh, Caboose? The tank wasn't broken," Miller said, putting extra emphasis on the word "wasn't."

"Yeah… but I wanted to make it better, so I made a few special modifications!"

"Caboose, I thought I told you: fire isn't a modification!" Tucker said as he came out of Blue base and joined the others by the burning tank.

Miller briefly turned to regard Tucker. He then looked over at Joe-Ennis, who was trying not to stand on his definitely bleeding leg.

"Caboose? What did you do to Private Joe-Ennis?" Miller asked.

"Jones…"

"Oh, I just helped him!" Caboose cheerfully explained.

"Helped him with what?"

"Helped him not drag me away from the tank!"

Lieutenant Miller groaned and looked at the floor before returning his gaze to the troublesome blue soldier, "I thought you said you were good with vehicles!"

"I am! I know exactly how to talk to a tank to make her feel special, but not uncomfortable!"

Lieutenant Miller gave his head a quick shake, "wait, are you telling me that all you've done to the tank is_talk_ to it?" Miller turned to face Joe-Ennis, "how the Hell did it catch fire?"

"_I don't know!_" Joe-Ennis cried.

"Hey, if I could spontaneously combust to avoid talking to Caboose, I'd do it!" Tucker said nonchalantly.

Miller just gave another frustrated sigh. How was it that he had gotten a very promising soldier at the same time as one who probably counted as a negative soldier?

"Lieutenant Miller, we've got company! Looks like someone from Command!" One of the other blue soldiers called out from the second floor of the base.

Miller turned around and spotted a soldier in gray armor approaching in a troop transport Warthog.

"Okay, Tucker. You try to get Caboose someplace where he can't burn anything else. I'll go see what this guy wants," Lieutenant Miller then looked over at Joe-Ennis and his red leg before addressing the rest of his team, "and would someone get Joe-Ennis here some medical attention?"

"Yeah, and while you're at it, why not get _me_ some medical attention because I have no idea who the bollocks_Joe-Ennis_ is!" Joe-Ennis muttered as Lieutenant Miller walked over to where the person from Command was waiting.

"Command, right? Lieutenant Miller, CO at Outpost 28-A," Miller introduced himself.

The gray soldier that Miller quickly realized was a woman cleared her throat, "Captain, you recently received two new soldiers for your squad, correct?"

"Yes, that's right," Miller decided not to mention his mixed feelings on the new guys.

"Well, it seems that Command made a slight mistake in shipping one of them to your unit."

Lieutenant Miller gave a sigh of relief and to his surprise, actually laughed a little, "of course, I should've known there'd been some kind of mix up! Thank you so much!" Miller sounded on the verge of tears, "you are taking him, aren't you?"

"Of course! Just tell Private Tucker to pack his things and we can get going immediately!"

"Sure thing, ma'am. You have no idea how relieved… wait a minute, _Tucker_? Not Caboose?"

"Yes, Private Tucker is the one with the experience that we need. We accidentally took the soldier with his rank from the local Red Team instead."

Lieutenant Miller turned back to where Tucker was leading Caboose away from the burning tank with a hot dog on a string. Sometimes he really hated being in charge...

* * *

Twilight sucked in a breath as she mustered all of the confidence and authority she could before trotting across the cavernous garage to its only other occupant. The motor pool was filled with jeeps, tanks and several other vehicles that Twilight couldn't identify. Additionally, crates and barrels of what Twilight assumed was fuel dotted the expansive garage.

The only other person in the chamber with her was a single guard in gray armor sitting in a chair somewhere around the middle of the garage. His arms hung limply at his sides, his head was tilted back and Twilight could hear soft snoring coming from behind his helmet. In truth, she had been the one to cast the sleeping spell on him in the first place, but it wasn't so that she could sneak past him undetected. Twilight still needed help figuring out how to operate one of these vehicles. Letting him think he had fallen asleep while on duty was all part of her plan to get him to… cooperate with her.

Twilight coughed once, slightly rousing the man from his magically induced slumber, "Rise and shine, soldier! W-we don't train you to nap on the job!" Twilight put all of her effort into making herself sound as loud and intimidating as possible by recalling the times she'd seen her brother drill the ponies in his regiment.

It worked like a charm, the formerly sleepy guard shot to his feet and sharply saluted, "S-sorry, sir! I was just resting for a bit, sir!" The man stared straight ahead, which was fortunate for Twilight, who remained standing behind him.

Twilight cleared her throat, "it's alright, private! Just keep facing that way and look at me for any reason!"

"Yes sir," The soldier lowered his arm to his side, but remained standing in one place, facing the end of the motor pool where the garage doors were, "I heard a lot of commotion out there earlier, sir. Is everything alright?"

Twilight had an answer prepared. It was what her brother Shining Armor would always fall back on when he was unable to give her the truth about an operation.

"It was just a training exercise. Nothing to worry about!" Twilight smiled to herself. It paid to be prepared for every possible line of questioning.

"If I may ask, sir: who am I speaking to right now?"

Right. Except that one. Twilight's smile fractured.

"You… are speaking to your Commanding Officer, of course!" She firmly said.

Twilight's heart skipped a beat when she saw the man start to turn around. Thankfully, he remembered his earlier orders and remained facing away from her.

"Commander Osgoode?" he asked.

"Yes! I'm Commander Osgoode!" Twilight winced and face hoofed at her mistake.

"Uh… since when were you a girl…? Sir."

Twilight nervously chewed her lip, "uh… I've always been a girl… on the inside!" Twilight stuttered, "I've been struggling with my identity all my life, and now I've finally figured it out!" Twilight prepared another sleeping spell. There was no way he was going to buy this.

"Oh, well congratulations on finally finding yourself, sir! Or, should I call you ma'am?"

Twilight immediately cancelled the spell, "um, sir is fine."

The soldier laughed nervously, "well, I can understand why you don't want me to look at you right now, sir! This must be a hard transitional period. But don't worry, I can be there for you if you need someone to talk to about it, sir!"

"Aw, thank you! That really means a lot to me to know that you troops care so much!" Twilight smiled. Sure, telling her friends and family that she was transgendered was going to be hard, but with such devoted men as him there to support her, she knew she would get through it.

Twilight abruptly shook her head several times. Wait… what had she just been thinking about? _Focus, Twilight_!

"Right, actually i need you to do something else for me," She said.

"Anything, sir."

"I want you to give me a brief primer on how to drive one of the jeeps."

The guard rubbed the back of his helmet, "but… don't you know how to drive a Warthog already? After all, you were the one who taught _me_ how to drive one!"

Twilight copied the guard's motion, "oh, this isn't for _my_ benefit. I... want to see how well you can instruct… in case I want to recommend you for an instructor's position!"

"Oh, of course!" The man double-timed it over to the nearest Warthog and Twilight carefully followed, making sure to remain in his blind spots, "first, you just slide the key into the ignition. Like so…"

He demonstrated by inserting a key into a slot next to the steering wheel, slowly pulling it in and out a few times. Wait… was he hitting on her?

Twilight shook her head until the last of those thoughts were flung from it. She'd spent _way_ too much time around Tucker. She was going to have to give her brain a good scrub when she got back to Equestria. Was that actually possible? There must be a spell in one of her books that allowed her to physically clean her brain...

"... And that about covers it. Any questions?"

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed when she realized she'd zoned out. Stupid Tucker…

"Uh, yes. Good… good job!" Twilight looked at the idling vehicle. At least he had started it for her. She could probably figure out the rest herself, "I'm going to go… patrolling with the Warthog. Can you get the door for me, please?"

"Yes, sir!" The soldier walked briskly towards the large garage door and pressed a small switch beside it. The massive door slowly opened, revealing the dusty arid plains covering the rest of the facility.

As he did, Twilight climbed into the driver's side of the Warthog and took a breath. This was it: time to learn through experience. Right away she noticed that she would be too short to reach the pedals underneath the steering wheel. She decided the best way to proceed was to sit on her haunches atop the driver's seat and manipulate the pedals with her magic while she operated the steering wheel with her front hooves.

"Well, have a good drive, sir! I have to say, I really feel like we bonded today! I hope that after this, we can remain friends..." The gray soldier trailed off when he turned around and saw a purple unicorn behind the wheel of the jeep he just started.

"Yes, we can definitely remain friends," Twilight said as her horn began to glow, "As it happens, I know a lot about friendship…"

Before the guard could react, Twilight cast the sleeping spell on him. Before he knew it, the man was slumped against the wall, snoring softly once again. With that settled, Twilight returned her attention to the open door in front of her, ready to drive out into the late afternoon sun.

Twilight pressed one of the pedals with her magic and her jeep lurched forward unevenly, then stopped. She tried another pedal and the jeep did the same thing. She moved forward out of the garage at a consistently uneven pace. Driving the Warthog was going to take some getting used to. For some reason that Twilight Sparkle could not fathom, it had six pedals.

* * *

Rainbow Dash couldn't keep the happy grin off of her face as she swooped down and landed in front of Fluttershy on the green hilly fields outside Ponyville. Sure, Twilight was still hopelessly lost on an alien world, but their own problems in Equestria were starting to come together. Pinkie Pie was getting treatment for her disorder and already seemed to be coming around.

In fact, she was already back to throwing parties. Pinkie had apparently rented out Town Hall for the evening for what she was calling a "special surprise party." One couldn't walk through town without seeing a flyer posted inviting every pony in town who could make it.

It was thus that Rainbow Dash was feeling confident enough again to continue about her daily routines. She and her foalhood friend Fluttershy were currently undergoing one of their favorite pastimes together: helping Rainbow work on her repertoire of tricks.

"Okay, so would you describe that last trick as cool, radical, or awesometastic?" Rainbow asked.

Fluttershy looked up from a particularly adorable butterfly gathering nectar from a small patch of flowers.

"Oh, um… it was… cool with a touch of radical?" Fluttershy smiled diplomatically.

Rainbow Dash just frowned and rubbed her chin, "so it needs work…"

Before either pegasus could say another word, they heard a quiet metallic tink as a small round metal object about the size of a hoof landed between them.

"Oh my, what could this be?" Fluttershy asked, bending down to take a closer look at the object.

Rainbow Dash picked up the round object in one hoof and stared at it with a single eye, "looks kinda like a ball. Maybe somepony's playing baseball nearby or something."

"It doesn't look like any baseball I've ever seen," Fluttershy noted. Her ears flicked as she noticed something, "um, is the ball hissing?"

Rainbow Dash just turned in the direction the "ball" had come from, the curious object still in hoof.

"Hey! Is this somepony's ball?" She called out loudly. After waiting a few seconds for a response, Rainbow Dash shrugged upon receiving none, "whatever, I have tricks to practice!"

With that, Rainbow Dash tossed the small metal ball over the hill from whence it came, turned around and took a step back towards Fluttershy. She stopped in her tracks when she heard a loud boom, the ball having apparently exploded behind her. Slowly, Rainbow Dash turned around to see a cloud of smoke and dust covering the area where she had thrown the mysterious object, the sound of shifting sediment prevailing as the dirt settled.

That didn't startle her quite as much as the shadowy silhouette that slowly materialized in the midst of the dust and smoke. Rainbow's ears drooped with her wings and her jaw drifted open at the sight of a figure emerging from the remnants of the explosion.

A tall, bipedal alien in black armor brought its fist together with its palm and tilted its head from side to side, emitting mechanical whirring noises as it did so. It then spoke in a harsh female voice.

"Okay… who's first?"

Rainbow Dash took a moment to relearn how to speak, "Fuh-Fluttershy? Any ideas?"

Rainbow turned to look at her butter-coated friend only to find that she was already a rapidly shrinking speck in the distance, looking about to perform a sonic rainboom of her own.

"Right… good idea!" Rainbow Dash muttered before repeating Fluttershy's patented strategy.

Both of them flew straight towards the closest point of civilization from where had been standing: Sweet Apple Acres.


	7. Act 1 Part 7 - On Your Knees

_A Memo_

_To: The Director of Project Freelancer_

_From: The Chairman of the UNSC Oversight Sub-Committee_

_Dear Director,_

_The Committee and I have just finished going over your reports on the apparent attack that occurred on the center of your operations. Suffice to say, we were disappointed with the lack of finer details regarding the alien attack. No where in your reports does it say the number of aliens that assaulted your Command Center and more importantly: how the incident began in the first place._

_Because the equine alien described does not match any of the known species encountered by humanity during the war, you surmised in your report that what we are dealing with is an entirely undiscovered race. As such, one would think that the details of the first encounter between the aliens and your forces would be a crucial part of your reports on the incident. The UNSC has protocols for dealing with first contact scenarios. I'm certain I don't have to remind you that anyone who doesn't abide by these protocols will face severe consequences._

_I sincerely hope that these minor grievances can be sorted out during our investigation of your program…_

Act 1 Part 7 - On Your Knees

"...Then I turned around and saw the purple unicorn sitting in the driver's seat. After that, I must have blacked out. I don't really remember…"

Commander Osgoode folded her arms as the man she had assigned to guard the motor pool; Corporal Jenkins, concluded his story. The cavernous garage they stood in was now filled with gray Command soldiers stripping the place clean for any clues towards the purple alien's whereabouts. Although she probably had everything she needed from her subordinate, the CO in gray armor with red detail was still miffed about one aspect of his story.

"Corporal, we've known each other for three years, correct?" She asked.

"Yes, sir!"

"So how in the _Hell_ have you not realized I'm a woman in that time?"

Jenkins shifted nervously, "well… you're a very gender neutral person! Plus, the unicorn said you were going through a gender identity crisis!"

Osgoode sighed, "whatever, is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Just that I'm here to support you if you're still confused about who you are."

"Trust me. Of the two of us, you're the only one who seems to be confused about gender," Osgoode deadpanned before turning to the man in white armor standing behind her, "Well that's the story, Agent Wyoming. Looks like the alien escaped in one of our Warthogs."

"Yes. That's fine work, Recovery Nine." Wyoming said, "Do you have the GPS tracking information of the missing Warthog?"

"Not yet, but it shouldn't be too hard to get. Do you want me to send it your way once I have it?"

Wyoming turned and began walking across the motor pool to one of the parked Warthogs, "no, that won't be necessary. Just send it along to Command and I'll get what I need to track it from them."

Osgoode gave a surprised grunt, "I wasn't aware you were still working with Command, Reginald."

Wyoming climbed into the Warthog and started the engine, "Oh, I'm not. But seeing as I have the best chance of tracking down that little alien of theirs, I'm sure I can get them to come to an agreement! Cheerio, love!"

With that, Wyoming stepped on the gas and the Warthog pulled out of the garage and out of sight. As she watched him drive towards the rapidly vanishing sun, Osgoode couldn't help but wonder what was going on in that brain of his. She had always known Wyoming as a fairly self-driven man, everything he did meant to benefit him in some way. Thus, she couldn't help but wonder how obtaining the small alien equine for Command was meant to benefit him.

* * *

The last thing Rarity had expected when she arrived at Sweet Apple Acres was to be assaulted by pastries.

Earlier that evening, Rarity had been sitting in Twilight's home, making sure a certain trio of fillies weren't going to burn the place down. It was then that she had received a surprise visit from a stallion in the gold armor of the Guard who had delivered some troubling news.

At first, Rarity thought he might have word of Twilight. Instead, the guard had told her that new developments at the alien crash site have potentially endangered herself and her friends. Frustratingly, the guard refused to divulge any further information, simply assuring her that his ponies were patrolling every inch around town.

Telling Spike to keep an eye on the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity had set out to inform the rest of her friends of the situation, starting at Sweet Apple Acres. Upon arriving, she had noticed Applejack's home looked hastily yet thoroughly fortified. Sand bags, overturned carts and various barrels and crates were piled around the central barn.

"Enemy sighted! Fire away!" Before Rarity could identify the elderly mare's voice that just echoed across the property, an onslaught of apple pies were flung in her direction.

Now, Rarity stood in place, spitting and coughing as she manically wiped bits of admittedly delicious apple pie from her face.

"Did we get it?" A familiar scratchy voice asked.

Looking up through her pie-clouded vision, Rarity saw four familiar ponies standing behind the makeshift blockade. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack and Big Macintosh all stood still as statues, staring at Rarity with wide eyes as they each held another pie aloft.

"Oh my… Um, Rarity? You're not an alien!" Fluttershy exclaimed, finally breaking the awkward silence.

"Clearly!" Rarity huffed, delicately spitting out more apple pie in a way that made her sound like a deflating balloon.

Applejack turned around, looked up to the roof of the barn and shouted, "Granny! I said to look out fer _aliens_! Rarity ain't an alien!"

An elderly green mare appeared over the edge of the roof. Granny Smith was wearing a large camouflage helmet with a pair of binoculars hanging down in front of her face.

"I thought the alien mighta shape-shifted!" She shouted back.

"What's all this about aliens?" Rarity asked.

"Little while ago, RD and Fluttershy came flyin' down here like their tails were on fire sayin' they'd seen an alien!" Applejack explained.

"Eeyup!" Big Mac helpfully added.

Rarity nodded skeptically, "Okay…"

"What're you doin' here, Rares?"

"Actually, I came to tell you that I received a curious bit of news about the…" Rarity trailed off as she put two and two together. Slowly, she looked over at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

"You both really saw an alien?"

Rainbow Dash nodded, "not just _an_ alien, Rarity. _The_ alien!"

Fluttershy nodded anxiously in affirmation while Rarity's eyes grew wide in understanding. So this was the mysterious danger they were in. Rarity quickly regained her lady-like composure as she reassured herself.

"Well, despite the situation, I don't think all of this is necessary," Rarity said, gesturing to the elaborate defenses set up around the barn, "I've recently been informed that there are guards stationed all over Ponyville. We'll know if any alien is coming a mile away!"

Rarity wasn't quite sure why the ears of the four ponies behind the barricade in front of her all folded back as their eyes went big, looking up at something in the sky behind her. Turning to look over her shoulder, Rarity had to dive aside with a yelp to avoid the empty cart that was hurtling through the air towards her and the others.

The cart crashed through the barricades in front of the big red barn, scattering the ponies behind it. Slowly, the five ponies all pulled themselves to their hooves and looked over in the direction the flying cart had come from. The oxygen was effectively sucked out of the air around the five ponies at the sight of the towering creature clad in black armor striding menacingly towards them on two legs.

"Well... it's _almost_ a mile away!" Rarity said shakily.

* * *

Twilight Sparkle wiped the sweat off her brow as she walked up the slight incline from the beach towards the fortress that she could only assume was High Ground. It was already pitch black, the moon and the stars illuminating the beach and the fortress wall in front of her. It had been a long afternoon and evening of travel for the little unicorn.

Shortly after taking the Warthog from the motor pool back at the Central Command base, Twilight had found that there was still no way to escape undetected. Thus, she did something unusually rash for a logical pony like her: she drove her vehicle off a cliff. It wasn't something she had done completely without thought: Twilight had spotted a river far below the cliff and as luck would have it, the body of water was deep enough to survive the landing.

Luck continued to favor Twilight when her vehicle had turned out to be moderately buoyant and carried her down the river like a makeshift raft. Twilight elected to let the river carry her as she checked the datapad in her magical clutches and found that the river eventually emptied out at the nearby ocean. High Ground was located on the coast not terribly far away.

It had been a long, tiring walk along the beach after reaching the coast, but Twilight finally arrived at the cove that High Ground was connected to. Tired and fairly hungry, Twilight had been relieved when she saw the concrete structure at the peak of the incline. However, her relief was replaced with a somewhat uneasy feeling as she approached the base and found it to be completely silent.

"Hello?" Twilight called out as she approached the firmly shut front gate.

Taking another look around the structure, Twilight noticed the place seemed fairly run down. The concrete walls were worn and completely collapsed in some places. The whole facility was quiet as a tomb. Was this the wrong place?

Twilight decided to risk venturing into the base by climbing up one of the collapsed concrete walls off to the right. She began walking left along the outer wall as she gazed further into the base. A concrete structure in the center was missing an entire wall in the side and there was a large metal device that looked like a piece of artillery that had fallen into disrepair. Furthermore, the base was still and silent.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Twilight yelped as the silence was abruptly interrupted by the familiar loud bang of a sniper rifle echoing through the air. She heard the ping of the projectile hitting a metal surface near her and actually saw the perfectly straight trail of smoke before it dispersed into the wind. She could recognize that terrible accuracy anywhere.

"Church, don't shoot! It's _me_!" Twilight shouted.

Twilight looked to where she saw the trail of smoke originate from and saw a familiar cobalt soldier step out of the hole in the structure in the center of the base.

"Twilight? Uh… of course I knew it was you! Otherwise I would have hit you!" Church said, clearing his throat conspicuously.

"I don't know… it looked to me like you just missed… again."

Church grip tightened on his lowered rifle, "how did you even get in? I have this place locked up tight!"

"I just climbed over one of the crumbled walls!"

"Right…" Church paused for a moment, "look, why don't you just come down here. You seem tired and look like you could use something to eat," Church turned to head back into the building he came out of.

Twilight had to walk along the outer wall for a bit before she found a set of stairs leading back down to the ground. From there she walked into the central building through the large hole in the side. After finding a carton of water and an MRE, Twilight sat down in front of the table and began giving her body the nutrition and hydration it desperately needed. Taking a look around the decaying building they were in, Twilight couldn't help but wonder.

"Is this High Ground?"

Church nodded, "yep. This is the new shithole I've been assigned to."

Twilight swallowed the food in her mouth, "It's just… it looks abandoned. Where are the rest of the soldiers stationed here?"

"I dunno, I'm the only one here."

"Doesn't that strike you as a little odd? Why would they separate you from your squad to station you alone in a run down base?"

Church shrugged, "Hey, I'm not complaining. It was actually nice not to have to speak to any idiots for a while…" Church trailed off when he spotted Twilight's disapproving glare, "I didn't say _you_ were among them, Twilight! Sheesh. You've gotta stop being so sensitive if you're going to spend more time around me!"

Twilight simply took another bite of her food, giving the obtuse man a glare.

"So, are we going to figure out how to find Tex's ship or not?" Church asked.

Twilight chewed her food as she thought. She had done a lot of thinking about many things on the long journey from Command. Mostly about the circumstances behind her arrival in Blood Gulch and based on what she learned of slipspace travel the night before, how she could replicate them. Twilight decided to get Church's opinion before she pitched any ideas.

"Okay, what do you have in mind?" She asked.

"Well, if you're from another planet the first thing we'd need to do is find a ship. Specifically one with an FTL drive…"

"Would that be hard to find?"

"For a guy like me? Yeah. They don't exactly rent out slipspace capable ships to anyone that asks," Church folded his arms as he continued, "anyway, before we even find a ship we have to know where we're going. You said there were coordinates on the computer in Tex's ship, right?"

Twilight nodded.

"Okay, think carefully. Gamma sent you here using the ship's _origin_ coordinates. Do you remember what the_destination_ coordinates were?"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin and squinted at the ceiling. She remembered a one… maybe a three… she was pretty sure there was a nine in there somewhere…

After a few more moments of contemplation, Twilight gave a loud groan, "No…"

"Figures…"

Twilight gave an indignant snort, "I'd like to see _you_ remember a complex series of numbers after being thrown onto a strange world full of heavily armed lunatics!"

"Right, right. Point taken. Command probably keeps a record of all of their ships' travel logs anyway," Church said, putting a hand to his chin, "all we have to is find where Command keeps them and pull up the file for Tex's ship! Then we just have to… find a ship that's slipspace capable and learn how to pilot it fast enough to steal it..."

Church's tone became more and more uncertain as he reached the tail end of his sentence. Twilight decided now would be a good time to share what she'd been thinking about.

"Actually, if we can just find a ship with a slipspace drive on it… I can probably get to Equestria without us having to actually fly it!"

Church slowly leaned his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his fist, "Go on…"

"I've been thinking: if that A.I was able to teleport me across the galaxy just because I was magically connected to the slipspace device in the helmet, I can probably teleport us back the exact same way! All we'd need to do is input the destination coordinates - assuming we can find them - into a ship with a slipspace device and turn it on. As long as I'm connected to it with my magic, I should be able to teleport us there directly!"

Church just sat there, staring at Twilight while leaning on his arm, "huh… if I understand it right, that sounds like it could actually work!"

Twilight nodded, unable to keep the proud grin from her face, "all we have to do is find the coordinates and the slipspace drive!"

With that, Twilight finished off her meal. For the first time since arriving on this planet she felt like she actually had a chance to get back home. Something else was nagging at the back of her mind, though. A mystery that's been right in front of her since making her deal with Church, but one she'd ignored until now.

"Church… if we're really going to go through with this, I have to ask: what's your stake in that ship? In that person in black armor?" Twilight leaned forward, giving Church a glare. It wasn't an angry or hateful glare, but one that simply expressed seriousness.

"Who's Tex?"

Church sighed and leaned back in his chair, "Tex is… complicated. Let's just say we used to be together."

Twilight's eyebrows went up, "she was your girlfriend?"

Church shook his head, "not for a long time..."

Twilight swallowed as she looked up at Church, "So… why try to find her?"

Church gave the most casual shrug he could manage, "closure, I guess."

Twilight gave a single solemn nod. As she looked at Church staring wistfully into space, Twilight's chest was inexplicably filled with a slight aching sensation. Was she feeling... sympathy? Twilight thought back to their argument in Blood Gulch when she first arrived all that time ago. Suddenly, the reason why Church had been so abrasive and cruel that day was crystal clear: he still wasn't over Tex. Twilight suddenly felt compelled to say something that a day ago, she never thought she would say to this particular individual.

"Church... I'm sorry if anything I said to you before offended you."

Church just shook his head, "Don't do that."

Twilight's eyes narrowed, "Do what?"

"Apologize. Let's be honest: I gave you plenty of reason to be mad at me. But you don't see me saying sorry to Tucker and Caboose every time I call them stupid do you?"

"No, but..."

"Exactly. And they never apologize to me whenever they call me out for being an asshole, either! That's our number one rule on Blue Team: no apologies." Church leaned back and folded his arms as he concluded. He then looked away as something occurred to him, "Wait... actually our number one rule on Blue Team is 'don't kill the leader,' but I guess 'no apologies' is the one we all actually follow!"

Despite everything, Twilight couldn't help but giggle a tiny bit. Maybe Simmons was right: these guys really aren't that bad once you get to know them. At the very least, Twilight thought she could learn to appreciate the absurdity of the lives they lead.

All of a sudden, Twilight's ears pointed straight up as she heard a sound. She struggled to identify it at first, then her heart sunk into her stomach as she recognized the sound as a Warthog's engine.

"Oh, no… they found me!"

* * *

The bipedal creature clad in black armor leapt over a petrified Rarity in a single bound and landed in front of Applejack. Big Mac wasted no time in getting between the armored biped and his sister. He reared up on his hind legs and swung his front hooves at the interloper, but received nothing but a swift punch across the face followed by an uppercut right to his nethers, bringing the big stallion down for the count. Applejack stepped past her sibling as he gasped for breath and angrily stared down the black alien.

"Try to deprive me of my future nieces and nephews, will ya? C'mere!"

Applejack tried turning around and giving the creature a good hard buck with her hind legs like it was one of her apple trees. The alien merely sidestepped her attack, grabbing a hind leg in one hand and the end of Applejack's tied mane in the other, swinging the farm pony around and sending her on a collision course with a thoroughly startled Rarity.

"Um… please don't fight…" Fluttershy's voice fell on deaf ears as Rainbow Dash flew up to retaliate.

As Rainbow began attacking the dark alien with a flurry of punches and kicks that the creature effortlessly blocked, Applejack groggily climbed off of Rarity and glared up at the roof of the barn.

"Granny! Why didn't ya warn us like you were supposed to?"

Although Applejack and Rarity couldn't see Granny Smith from where they were on the ground, the sound of loud snoring coming from the old mare's spot on the roof answered her question. The pair looked back down at the fight between Rainbow Dash and the alien just in time to see the creature catch one of Rainbow's punches in its hand, twist her foreleg behind her back and effectively punt her in Fluttershy's direction. The little yellow pegasus - who had merely been trying to gently talk to the armored creature - tried to catch Rainbow Dash as she flew in her direction, effectively getting clobbered by her friend.

"Alright, time to show this alien we Equestrialings mean business!" Applejack declared as she finished tying the end of her lasso to her tail.

The farm pony spun the looped rope above her head a few times before sending it straight towards the black armored creature. The alien raised an arm to protect itself, but Applejack still managed to rope it. Her lasso grasped the raised appendage firmly as around them, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Big Mac pulled themselves to their feet.

"Hah! Gotcha!" Applejack exclaimed.

Applejack's smug grin disappeared in an instant as the dark creature grabbed her rope with the very arm that had been lassoed. With a sharp upward yank, Applejack was pulled up through the air toward the creature before it harshly pulled her back into the hard ground. Applejack was helpless to do anything as she was thrown into the air and brought down into the ground numerous times by the rope connecting her tail to the biped's arm.

The other four ponies all closed in around the alien in an attempt to help their friend/sibling. Noticing this, the black alien spun the roped Applejack above its head, effectively turning the farm pony into a flail. The alien utilized its new weapon well, and Applejack was sent into her friends and brother at lightning speeds, the alien moving gracefully as it used her to attack each of them again and again.

Realizing something had to be done lest she continue being used as a weapon against her friends, Applejack gathered all of the strength she could into her aching body to fight the momentum of the flail she had become to reach the rope attached to her tail. She hastily bit through the rope with her teeth but was still sent flying into her brother from the momentum, sending both of them crashing through the front door of the barn.

Deciding she'd had enough of this creature making fools out of her friends, Rarity charged up her horn to perform one of the offensive spells Twilight had taught her. As she did so, Rainbow Dash took off again and circled around to dive bomb straight at the creature. The alien reacted quickly, grabbing a pitchfork and a sickle.

The black armored entity tossed the pitchfork like a javelin straight up at Rainbow Dash. She was able to avoid the dangerous projectile, but doing so put her off course of her dive bomb. She was now flying at full speed straight towards the side of the barn and wasn't able to slow down or maneuver fast enough to avoid crashing through the top story window.

The alien immediately followed up with a swift toss of the crescent shaped sickle in its other hand straight at Rarity. The unicorn moved her head to dodge the deadly blade, causing her to misfire her spell and blow up a couple of barrels instead of the black alien. Rarity felt the sickle brush against her mane as it flew past and her heart stopped when she realized she had not survived the attack unscathed.

A lone strand of purple hair drifted down before her, resting pitifully in the dirt.

"_You_…" Rarity's usually delicate, elegant voice was covered in a layer of unbridled fury, "you _monster_! Does a perfectly styled mane mean nothing to you?"

Like a mare possessed, Rarity charged at the alien and attacked it with a storm of magically aided punches. The alien managed to block the furious mare's attacks, but was nonetheless driven back towards the barn behind it.

"Do you know! How! Long! It takes! To get! My mane! Looking! This! Fabulous?" Rarity punctuated with every punch.

Rarity finished her combo with a powerful blast of magic from her horn, sending the alien flying through the entrance of the barn. Calmly trotting up to the inert black form, Rarity huffed.

"Serves you right, ruffian!"

In an instant, the alien sprung back into action, spinning on its head in a move resembling a break dance move, delivered a powerful kick to Rarity's face before flipping back on its hind legs. Rarity was sent flying back into Fluttershy, who didn't even seem to want anything to do with the fight anymore.

"Hey! Over here, ya overgrown tin can!"

The black armored beast turned around to see Applejack standing at the other end of the barn, crouching low and giving the creature a challenging glare. With a few stretches of its neck accompanied by the sound of mechanical whirs, the alien in black took a few steps toward Applejack, unaware it was stepping under a large cube of hay suspended from the ceiling of the barn.

"Big Mac! Now!"

From his position up in the loft, Big Mac bit through a rope connected to the suspended hay bale by a series of pulleys. The alien looked up just in time to see the large cube of hay falling towards it. With impressive reflexes and incredible strength, the dark alien caught the falling bale of hay that would have outright crushed even the strongest stallion. The incredibly heavy object did put the alien off balance, and it fell to one knee as it continued to hold the large cube of hay aloft with both arms.

Seeing this, Big Mac leapt from his position in the loft and landed on top of the hay bale the creature was struggling to lift, the force of his weight completely crushing it under the dense hay.

"Um.. d-did we get it?" Fluttershy asked as she and Rarity climbed to their hooves and Rainbow Dash stumbled down from the loft.

"Eeyup!" Mac declared, standing atop the packed hay looking all too proud of himself.

The expression on the large red stallion's face quickly turned to one of concern as the hay beneath him started to shake. Big Macintosh and the bale of hay were both abruptly thrown straight into the air and the thing in black armor was suddenly back on its feet. The alien delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the packed hay as it came back down, sending the heavy cube flying towards Applejack.

The alien brought its leg around in the same fluid motion and kicked Big Mac in the groin again on his way down .

"ENOOOOOPE!" Mac squeaked as he was sent flying into a surprised Rainbow Dash. The pegasus in question had been trying to creep up on the alien unnoticed.

"What is your problem with my brother's balls?" Applejack grunted as she climbed to her hooves with the rest of the ponies.

Each one of them were taking longer and longer to recover as each of them were feeling the effects of their battle with the extra-terrestrial. Despite their tired aching bodies, each of them lowered their bodies into fighting stances and prepared to charge again. The creature in black simply raised its fists and beckoned them forward with a wave of its digits, seeming not to have tired in the slightest. The ponies all charged at their opponent, hoping that if they could attack it from all sides at once...

"_EVERYPONY STOP!_" The ponies all skidded to a halt and even the black alien looked around in confusion.

Every body in the room turned to the source of the voice and saw a certain meek yellow pegasus fluttering up to the alien with a forceful, angry look in her eyes.

"Who do you think you are going around attacking innocent ponies like this, _huh_?" The usually soft-spoken Fluttershy said, giving the alien a furious glare, "I know you can talk! So instead of picking a fight with everypony you come across, why don't you _talk_!"

The alien took a step towards Fluttershy and glared right back at her, but to everypony's surprise the little yellow pegasus didn't back down. Finally, the creature gave an annoyed grunt.

"Listen, I know Omega is inside _somepony_ and now that he can jump into anyone without the need of an A.I slot, it's pointless to try and figure out who it is!" The alien declared in a gruff female voice with a slight accent that sounded a bit like Applejack's.

"Is that any reason to attack my friends?" Fluttershy asked firmly.

"Normally I'd say yes, but…" the alien looked at the ponies around her, "based on what I've seen, Omega isn't in any of you."

Satisfied that the alien no longer seemed inclined to attack, Fluttershy pulled back a bit and crossed her forelegs, "See? If you'd just asked from the beginning all of this violence could have been avoided!"

"Meh. I never really cared much for diplomacy."

Fluttershy nodded and extended a hoof, "I'm Fluttershy. What's your name?"

The alien hesitated for a moment, as if considering whether or not it should answer, "Call me Tex. And I'm still not finished with you all. Not until I know where Omega is!"

"Well, maybe if you told us what exactly an… 'Omega' is..." Rainbow Dash suggested.

"Omega is my A.I. Or he was. Guess he's what you guys call an 'M.I' now. He has the ability to jump into people's heads and control them, making them act… aggressive," Tex looked at each of the gathered ponies, "has anyone you know been acting strangely lately?"

Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy all exchanged knowing glances.

"Er… is it possible this Omega thing has been calling itself 'O'Malley?'" Rarity asked.

Tex took a step toward the farm pony, "Where can I find him?"

Before any of the ponies could answer, they heard the sound of a prepubescent male voice call out from outside.

"Hello? Applejack? Anyone here?"

"In here, Spike!" Applejack answered.

In a few short moments, Spike walked into the barn with a piece of paper in one of his claws.

"There you guys are!" Spike paused to take a look around the barn, "jeez, this place is a mess! And you all look really beaten up! What have you been doing in here?"

"Spike, I'd like you to meet someone. This is…" Rarity trailed off when she looked over to where Tex was standing to find that the black clad alien was no longer there. She had completely disappeared, "... Big Macintosh!" Rarity quickly remedied.

"Uh… I already know Applejack's brother, Rarity!"

"Eeyup!"

Rarity laughed awkwardly, "yes… just making sure! Haven't exactly seen you two together before and you're both such lovely young gentlemen!"

"So what's up, Spike?" Applejack asked, not so subtly trying to change the topic.

"It's Pinkie Pie. Her party at Town Hall just started and she wants to know where you all are. After all, she threw it just for you!" Spike said, holding up the piece of paper he was holding in his claw.

"Is that so?" Rarity asked, taking the flyer in her magic and looking at it.

Sure, she had seen the flyers advertising Pinkie's latest party all over town that day, but she hadn't really gotten a good look at one until now. Along with information detailing the time and place of the party, the flier mainly featured an image of Pinkie Pie, pointing at the viewer with a hoof and smiling at them. Right away Rarity noticed that something about Pinkie's smile was off. It wasn't a normal Pinkie Pie smile, but something darker and far more sinister.

"Pinkie just kept saying that she couldn't _properly_ start the party until you guys all arrived. She kept saying that you would simply _die_ when you found out what she has in store and then laughed a whole lot!"

* * *

"Twilight, what the Hell's going on?" Church asked as he followed Twilight up to the outer wall.

Twilight's heart raced as she looked down below and saw the still running Warthog sitting in front of the base, its bright headlights shining through the darkness onto the front gate.

"What? Who's fucking car is that? They can't park there, it's illegal! I put up a sign!" Church exclaimed.

"Oh, don't fret mate! I'm only idling while I run a quick errand!"

Twilight's heart nearly jumped out of her chest at the sound of the familiar accented voice, the source of which was up on the wall with them. Twilight and Church hastily turned in time to see Wyoming standing on the wall a few feet away. Church immediately raised his sniper rifle in Wyoming's direction as the man in white did the same.

"Don't do anything rash now, little pony. I see so much as one spark come out of that horn of yours and I'll shoot it off!"

"_Wyoming?_ How the Hell are you here?" Church asked.

Twilight looked up at Church in surprise when she realized he knew the English Freelancer's name.

"Simple: I went through the gaping hole in your defensive wall!" Wyoming tsked,

"No, I mean how the Hell are you not dead? I watched Tex shoot you!" Church exclaimed.

"Correction: you watched Tex shoot _one of me_. You don't think I'd be daft enough to put _all_ of my chips on the table at once, do you?"

Twilight looked back and forth between Church and their opponent, realizing all too quickly that there was some history here she didn't know about.

"To tell you the truth, I was originally planning on simply letting you all think I was dead, taking my payment from Command and moving along with my life. Perhaps retire! However, an opportunity recently presented itself that I couldn't possibly pass up!" Wyoming continued.

Twilight gave Wyoming a cautious glare, realizing exactly what he was referring to, "What do you want with me?"

Wyoming gave an amused chuckle, "it's not what I want, my dear. It's what Project Freelancer wants!"

"And what do those assholes want? To experiment on her like they did with Tex and the ?" Church asked, sniper rifle aimed unflinchingly at Wyoming.

Twilight wasn't as concerned with that as she was about another detail she recalled from their last encounter.

"When you first saw me back at Command, you knew what I was as soon as you saw me," Twilight said, never letting her wary eyes leave him, "How?"

"How indeed? There's only one way you're going to get the answer to that question, and you know exactly what that is!" Wyoming stated, taking a step toward the pair.

Church responded in kind, sniper rifle aiming straight at… Wyoming's general direction, "she's not going anywhere with you!"

"What's this? First class narcissist Leonard Church is protecting a little pony? Truly touching! I always knew there was a heart of gold underneath the bastard-coated exterior!" Wyoming snarked.

"Listen, Twilight and I have _prior arrangements_! So if you take another step closer I'm gonna put another hole in your head. Who knows? A little extra air might actually do your brain some good!"

Wyoming gave a condescending chuckle, "Yes, go ahead and shoot. You might actually come close to hitting something if you keep at it long enough!" Wyoming's tone suddenly became deadly serious, "Face it, there is nothing you or Twilight can do to stop me, so you might as well just let her come along with me!"

Twilight gritted her teeth together as she glared at Wyoming. The man was rapidly getting on her nerves, much to Wyoming's own amusement. What annoyed her the most was that Wyoming was right. Twilight wasn't sure whether he was bluffing about his ability to shoot her horn off but she also didn't want to test him. And even though Church had his sniper rifle trained at Wyoming, she knew his chances of actually hitting him weren't good.

It was a shame, because from where she was standing she could kind of tell where Church was generally aiming. If she just had a way to help him adjust his aim without Wyoming catching on...

Twilight's ears suddenly perked up as she thought of an idea.

"Bark!" Both Church and Wyoming looked down at Twilight with confusion.

"Uh… what?" Church asked.

Twilight just looked right up into Church's eyes with confidence, "Bark," she said again, gesturing with her head in Wyoming's direction.

Church tilted his head up and nodded once, suddenly realizing what Twilight was doing. He looked back along his sniper rifle's sight and began adjusting his aim.

"Bark…"

Church compensated to the left.

"Bark…"

Church stopped and re adjusted slightly to the right.

"Come now, dear. Pretending to be a dog will only work so many times…" Wyoming started.

"Bark-bark! Bark-bark!"

The loud bang of the sniper rifle rang out as Church took the shot. It wasn't a perfectly placed shot, but it hit its mark.

"Aah!" Wyoming cried out as the sniper round pierced his shoulder, the force of the shot causing him to spin out and collapse on his stomach.

"YES! I ACTUALLY HIT HIM! I AM AMAZING WITH THE SNIPER RIFLE!" Church shouted.

The celebration was short lived as the pair of them heard a hissing sound. Twilight looked over at Wyoming just in time to see the prone man toss a glowing, pulsating blue orb in their direction, landing between them.

"What the heck is _that thing_?" Twilight asked.

Church wasted no time in grabbing a startled Twilight under his arm, "It's like a spider!"

Church jumped off the fortress wall as an explosion of blue plasma where they had previously been standing briefly lit up the night behind them.

"A very _deadly_ spider!"

Church immediately hauled ass toward Wyoming's Warthog with Twilight under his arm, inelegantly tossing the unicorn into the passenger's seat before running around to climb into the driver's side.

"This is why you don't park illegally where I come from: you get towed bitch!" Church taunted. A sniper rifle shot shattering the windshield was Wyoming's reply, "AH! Son of a bitch!"

Throwing the jeep into reverse, Church drove them backwards all the way down the incline towards the beach and away from High Ground, Wyoming taking potshots at them from his place on the fortress wall as he struggled to stand. Church turned the Warthog around with an impressive slide and drove straight along the beach, putting High Ground and its current only occupant out of sight.

* * *

For the fifth time in the past minute, Church glanced beside him at Twilight Sparkle as they continued to drive along the dark road surrounded by trees, the only source of light coming from the front of their own Warthog. The two of them had been driving along for several minutes now. They had already come up with their next course of action: lay low until they figure out a solid plan. As much as Church didn't like it, Twilight eventually got him to agree to go to the only place where they had friends: Rat's Nest.

Now, Twilight continued to stare at him with a serious, expectant look from her place in the passenger's seat. Church returned his attention to the road in front of him. He knew exactly what it was she wanted.

"Right, explanations. That asshole back there was Wyoming. He's a Freelancer," Church explained.

Twilight gave an inquisitive tilt of her head, "you mean like a sellsword?"

Church lifted a hand off the wheel and tilted it back and forth, "eh… yes and no. Wyoming's a free agent. Works for whoever pays best, but the term 'Freelancer' is also a codename for the special agents of the military program he used to be involved with."

"And that would be this… 'Project Freelancer' he kept mentioning?"

Church nodded, "put simply, Project Freelancer is bad news. They were a program that tried to create super-soldiers by implanting aggressive A.I into their agents' heads."

Twilight looked away, a distant look in her eyes, "of course… an A.I can think and act faster than any person ever could. But, wouldn't sharing your mind with something like that cause… problems?"

"Fuck yeah, that's what I meant by 'bad news!'" Church briefly looked at Twilight again, emphasizing the seriousness of what he was saying before returning to watching the road.

"Everyone in the program was paired with an A.I. Wyoming had Gamma. I'm sure you remember _him_. Tex had Omega, who turned anyone he was implanted with into a murderous psychopath. I even heard there was one guy whose A.I went nuts and killed itself _inside his head_!"

Church studied the way Twilight just stared straight ahead, mouth slowly drifting open. He was glad that she was understanding his low opinion of Project Freelancer. Of course, Church then realized that the look of horror growing on Twilight's face was her coming to the realization that the people behind all of the terrible stuff he mentioned were now after her.

* * *

Cold and sterile. Those were the words that best embodied the depths of Freelancer Command. While on the surface Command was a series of fortified bunkers stretching across a desert-like plain, they connected to a deep underground network of labs and research facilities. The place was a complex, well oiled machine: lifeless and efficient.

A man in dark gray armor with yellow detail marched down the gray metal halls, listening to the droning announcements being broadcast throughout the facility by the female A.I that controlled it. He ignored the blinking red eyes of the surveillance cameras following him as he walked past a pair of Command soldiers into a communications room.

The room was small and dimly lit, dominated by three massive screens on the far walls. The only furniture was a few filing cabinets and a table with a couple of computers on it. The large monitors came to life as the man in gray and yellow armor reached the center of the room. The image of a dark man obscured in shadows loomed over on the three monitors.

"Hello, Agent Washington," the man on the screen greeted in a surreal, soft voice partially distorted by the speakers through which it was broadcast.

"Counselor," the man in gray and yellow armor returned the greeting in a serious, icy tone, "I'd say that it's good to see you again, but I'm told that dishonesty is unbecoming of a soldier."

The Counselor kept his shadowy face carefully neutral, "Indeed. I imagine you know what you're here to discuss."

"The Recovery Beacon," Washington affirmed. He'd heard the familiar sound like electronic ringing bells playing through his helmet earlier on: Project Freelancer's way of keeping track of their precious equipment. The Recovery Beacons were designed to transmit from their agents' armor when said agents were either dying or dead. As a Recovery Agent, it was Washington's job to find and recover Freelancer's equipment.

"Yes. I thought you might have heard it while in the infirmary..."

"Don't think I've forgotten why I had to be in the infirmary in the first place!" Washington said, a bitter edge in his tone.

"Indeed. Agent South Dakota's actions during your most recent assignment may have been… partially our responsibility."

As if to drive the point home, Washington was graced with a holographic projection of a recorded video feed from someone's helmet. He watched himself run forward toward the enemy from the perspective of his former comrade, and then watched as said comrade fired a burst from her Battle Rifle into his back.

"What part of that is only _partially_ your responsibility?" Washington asked.

"The part where Agent South went rogue, taking the Delta A.I she was meant to recover."

Washington scoffed.

"Agent Washington, I hope you know we didn't give Agent South any orders that needlessly put your life in danger. While she may have mislead you to the ends of setting up a confrontation with our elusive enemy, her decision to betray you and escape was her own. Project Freelancer values the lives of _all_ of its agents."

"Yeah, you guys are real paragons..." Washington muttered.

The Counselor raised his chin, eyeing Washington curiously, "are you having... reservations about continuing to work with us, Agent Washington?"

"It doesn't make me happy. But, you can continue to rely on me… at least until I track down South," Washington decided against telling them the _real_ reason why he was still willing to cooperate. At least not yet. He then hastily decided to change the topic, "so about the Recovery Beacon…"

"The beacon belonged to one Agent Texas."

Washington raised an eyebrow, "And Omega? Where did the beacon originate from?"

"That's the interesting part. Tex's Recovery Beacon originated from Caballinus IV."

Washington looked up, suddenly focusing on the Counselor with interest, "Caballinus IV? Isn't that the planet where…?"

"Yes." The Counselor hastily said, "the planet in question is - for the time being - irrelevant to your assignment."

"Wait, am I not to go there to recover the Omega A.I?"

The Counselor shook his head, "No. As it is, Agent Texas' Recovery Beacon stopped transmitting some time ago. I trust you know what this means."

Washington nodded. Recovery Beacons were designed to transmit continuously, only ceasing to do so when the A.I they were associated with were recovered. Either by a Recovery Agent from Command or by someone else.

"Well, I take it since we're having this discussion, it wasn't one of our people that found Omega. Do you think the Meta could have gotten to him?"

"It's difficult to tell at this time. Omega could have been taken by the Meta, Agent South or another rogue agent. Even one of the locals of Caballinus IV could have found and removed him. Either way, the Omega A.I's current whereabouts are unknown.

"We've decided that the best course of action would be to return to Omega's last known whereabouts. You may be able to discern Omega's original intentions from the simulation troopers there that have dealt with him before."

Washington nodded, eager to get out of the oppressive room with the Counselor's image bearing down on him, "Got it." Washington knew the Counselor specialized in psychology. Perhaps he had designed this room with the idea of creating an oppressive atmosphere in mind?

"Speaking of the locals of Caballinus IV, I have one more point to bring up before you are dismissed, Agent Washington."

Washington wasn't quite able to hide his curious posture at the mention of the enigmatic planet again.

"Perhaps you have heard about the recent attack on our facilities…" The Counselor continued.

"Word going around is that it was an alien species never before encountered by humanity."

The Counselor leaned forward, "You and I both know better, don't we Agent Washington?"

Another holographic image appeared in front of the central screen where the Counselor looked down into the room. The footage playing this time was what appeared to be security camera footage from somewhere inside Freelancer Command. What appeared to be a small purple unicorn was anxiously pacing around the room, muttering aloud to itself.

"Now that our program is under investigation, the Director feels that having an 'undiscovered' alien running around our facilities would create… complications," the Counselor explained as the holographic image of the unicorn disappeared.

"While your primary objective is still to locate the Omega A.I, the acquisition of this creature has become one of Project Freelancer's top priorities."

Washington nodded, "What are my orders should I encounter it?"

"We want this particular subject alive if possible. Of course, what's most important is that we not allow it to create more complications..."


	8. Chapter 8

_A Response_

_To: The Chairman of the UNSC Oversight Sub-Committee_

_From: The Director of Project Freelancer_

_Dear Chairman,_

_First, let it be known that I disagree with your decision to start an investigation of Project Freelancer over a matter as _unrelated_ to my program as the recent alien attack. That being said, Project Freelancer has always worked within the laws and regulations of the UNSC. Thus, I am more than willing to cooperate with you fully in this investigation, if only so that I may return to my research more quickly._

_As to your request for more details on the alien attack on Freelancer Command, I'm afraid I simply don't have the information at the present time to satisfy your needs. Rest assured, my men are working around the clock to track down the aliens in question as well as find out what happened within our own ranks._

_I am certain that sooner or later, the details of how Project Freelancer first made contact with the Equine aliens will be made apparent…_

Act 1 Part 8 - Big Prize

"Oh no! _Hell no!_ Excuse me, sir. But _no Goddamn way_!"

"You must be Lieutenant Miller…"

Church silently watched the scene at Outpost 28-A unfold from a safe distance away. The CO of the local Blue team was storming out of the area that served as Blue Base here in Rat's Nest yelling at the top of his lungs about something or other. What really concerned Church though was the soldier in gray armor with yellow detail on his helmet and shoulder pads that the CO was yelling at.

"Crap…" Church muttered, turning on his radio, "Twilight, do you copy? We have a problem over here!"

"What do you mean, Church?" The little unicorn's voice came in through Church's helmet. Church was glad that he and Twilight had agreed that she should stay with the Warthog a short distance away while he scouted out the situation at blue base.

"I've just arrived at Caboose and Tucker's new base, and there's a Freelancer here!"

"_What_? Is he looking for me?" Twilight's voice raised in pitch as panic overtook it.

"Not sure. Just stay put, Twilight. I'm going to take a closer look," Church then switched off his radio and started walking closer to the blue CO and the Freelancer he was talking to.

As Church got closer, he noticed that the blue CO (who the Freelancer had referred to as Miller if Church wasn't mistaken) wasn't yelling anymore.

"Wait a minute… you're _taking_ Caboose? And I don't have to pay you, or anything like that?"

"Wait a minute, he's taking Caboose?" Church asked, resulting in both Lieutenant Miller and the Freelancer to turn in his direction.

"I know, right? Isn't that just the best news you've ever heard?" Miller exclaimed. He then raised an uncertain finger in Church's direction, "wait, you're not a member of my squad, are you?"

"No actually, I'm a member of Caboose's old squad," Church said. Although he had originally come to Rat's Nest hoping to seek refuge based on that fact alone, Church instantly regretted saying as such when the Freelancer in gray and yellow armor took an eager step toward him.

"Wait, you were with Private Caboose in Blood Gulch?" the Freelancer asked in an intense, serious voice.

An uneasy feeling filled Church's body. A Freelancer this excited about something was never a good sign. Unfortunately, Church had already established his connection to Caboose, so there was no point in saying otherwise.

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you with your own squad?" The Freelancer asked.

"I don't have a squad... At least not anymore! They were wiped out by the Reds," Church answered truthfully. Indeed, he was the lone survivor of a blue squad on Sidewinder, but that was years ago, "what do you want with Caboose and I, anyway?"

"It might be best to wait until Caboose gets out here before I explain everything."

Church suddenly realized something was wrong. Why was this Freelancer _only_ here for Caboose? "Wait, what about Tucker?"

"Private Tucker was taken in by Command for something. They were all hush-hush about it too, of course…" Miller lamented before he turned toward Blue Base, where the rest of his men were gathered on the second level, "Private Joe-Ennis! _Joe-Ennis_! Where the Hell are ya?"

A blue soldier with beige detail on his armor stepped forward, "Sir, for the millionth time. It's pronounced Jones! _Jones_!"

"Shut up, Joe-Ennis!" One of the other blue soldiers said.

"Lot's of people have the name! It's very common! Seriously, how am I the first person you've met called Jones?"

Church tried to suppress a groan. It seemed that pointless bickering wasn't unique to his squad.

"Listen up, Joe-Ennis. I want you to go down to the brig, untie Caboose and bring him up here!" Miller ordered.

"You keep him in the brig?" the Freelancer asked, sounding genuinely shocked.

"We keep him _tied up_ in the brig!"

"That's... actually brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?" Church exclaimed.

"You want me to get Caboose? _Alone_?" Joe-Ennis asked, sounding incredibly nervous.

"Actually, that guy brings up a good point," Church said, walking towards the stairs leading up to the second level of the base, "I should probably go with him. Make sure Caboose doesn't kill anyone!"

Without any further words, Church met Joe-Ennis on the second floor platform of the base and together the two of them went inside. As they disappeared through the door, a Warthog violently skidded around the corner and came speeding towards Blue Base. In addition to the sound of the vehicle's engine, the gathered soldiers heard another sound like a man screaming.

"What in the Hell?" Lieutenant Miller muttered as the warthog went speeding past and came skidding to a stop a few feet away.

When the sound of the Warthog's engine stopped, the gathered blues and one Freelancer were able to hear the sound of screaming more clearly and realized it was coming from the driver. A blue wearing armor with brown detail jumped out of the driver's seat, still screaming.

"Private Mickhead? What's going on? Why aren't you out on patrol right now?" Miller asked.

The soldier's response was simply to give another terrified scream before pointing inside the warthog he arrived in. Lieutenant Miller and the Freelancer both moved forward to take a look into the vehicle and found the subject of Private Mickhead's terror: a small purple unicorn with a black eye looking dazed as she sat in the passenger seat.

* * *

Six ponies and a baby dragon made their way through a rapidly darkening Ponyville towards the center of town. At the head of the group was Applejack, the farm pony trotting along at a nervous, brisk pace.

"Ya sure yer not an alien, missy?" Granny Smith asked, squinting at Rarity through old eyes.

"For the last time, _yes!_" Rarity snapped.

Normally, Applejack might have chided her fashionista friend for being so short with her grandmother, but normally Rarity would not have been so short to begin with. Truth was, they were all very on edge at the moment, having just survived a brutal brawl with the alien called Tex only for the thing to just disappear to who knows where. The seven of them were now on their way to the party that Pinkie Pie was so keen on seeing them at. The very same Pinkie who was now under the influence of an aggressive alien intelligence. On top of that, Applejack kept thinking she'd seen movement out of the corner of her eyes throughout the whole trip through town, but every time she'd turn to look she'd see nothing.

Letting out a nervous breath, Applejack looked back at her friends. They met her eyes and once again she found herself under their lost, expectant gazes. Applejack immediately looked away. She knew what they wanted from her, but she also knew she couldn't deliver on what they wanted. What they _needed._

Applejack had tried to take charge when she first heard word of the alien Tex in Ponyville. Her plan had been simple, but not enough and now her friends were still feeling the painful effects of that mockery of a battle. Even now, her poor brother was hobbling along with his hind legs closer together than normal. Applejack just couldn't stop thinking about how close that encounter had been to complete disaster.

As Applejack closed her eyes and tried to push those thoughts from her mind, Rainbow Dash - who had been hanging back with Fluttershy and Big Mac - took off, swooped around and started hovering alongside Applejack.

"So… it's pretty obvious that this party we're going to is a trap of some sort," Rainbow Dash said.

Applejack nodded and gave a noncommittal grunt.

Spike increased his pace so that he was walking beside the two of them, "So… do you have a plan or something?"

Just like that, Applejack stopped walking, halting the whole group in their tracks.

"Why're you askin' me?"

The others looked at her in confusion.

"Uh… come again?" Rarity asked.

Applejack turned around to face the rest of them, "Why am _I_ the one y'all look to for leadership?"

Her friends fidgeted awkwardly for a few moments.

Finally, Fluttershy made a slight squeak as she cleared her throat, "Um… well, it's just… you do such a good job managing your farm, and… "

"And what? That makes me qualified to take charge when danger comes knockin'?"

"Uh, Eeyup?" Big Mac asked.

"But it doesn't! Every plan I'd come up with to deal with that Tex thing was a disaster! If Fluttershy hadn't stepped in, we might all have…" Applejack trailed off, unable to finish that train of thought.

When she continued, Applejack just sounded spent, "You guys want a leader? Find some pony else. I just ain't cut out for it…"

With that, Applejack continued forward, making sure her lasso was tied and firmly tucked into her tail as she approached Town Hall. The place was decorated with balloons and streamers just like any other of Pinkie's parties. A giant poster hung on the facade of the building, featuring Pinkie Pie - or something resembling her - staring dramatically at something in the distance. Across the image were the words: "Bringing an evil-er tomorrow… Yesterday!"

Applejack couldn't help but wonder why it looked like a political campaign ad.

* * *

"Just stay put, Twilight. I'm going to take a closer look."

With that, Church's voice cut out and Twilight once again heard nothing but silence in her ears. Now that she was alone with her thoughts, Twilight took a moment to reflect on her situation. She couldn't decide whether she was better off in Blood Gulch dealing with a bunch of idiots that refused to help her. It sure beat being relentlessly pursued by a scary, enigmatic military faction.

Leaning back in the passenger seat of the warthog she sat in, Twilight took in her surroundings. There wasn't much to look at in the large underground tunnel system designated "Rat's Nest." The tunnels themselves were large and towered high above the vehicle Twilight sat in. The concrete walls surrounding her were grimy and covered in mould. A large rusty pipe followed the path of the tunnel along the ceiling and the whole place smelled dank and unpleasant. Occasionally, Twilight would hear the distant voices of other red or blue soldiers echoing down the tunnels.

"Hmm? What's this Warthog doing here?"

Twilight's ears rose to attention. That voice sounded a lot closer than the others. On top of that, it was accompanied by the sound of footsteps. Twilight realized that the Warthog the voice had referred to was the one she was sitting in all too late as a soldier wearing blue armor with brown detail climbed into the driver's seat beside her.

Slowly, the blue and the pony turned their heads to look at one another. After a few awkward seconds of silently staring, Twilight decided to initiate communication. Slowly, she raised a foreleg and gave a little wave.

"Um… hi," Twilight said carefully.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Of all the reactions Twilight expected, screaming in terror was not one of them. Twilight raised both front hooves up in a desperate attempt to placate the panicking blue soldier.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, sir! I mean you no harm-"

The same could not be said of the screaming blue soldier, who proceeded to punch Twilight in the face, severely rattling her brain inside her skull and disorienting the little purple unicorn. Twilight didn't want to be mad at him. The punch was probably just a fear reaction. Still: it _really_ hurt!

Twilight curled up in her seat, covering her likely bruised face with the hooves she was using earlier to try to calm the frantically screaming individual. As she lay there in the passenger's seat with her hooves covering her throbbing head, Twilight became vaguely aware that she was moving. Removing her hooves from her face, Twilight was greeted by the blurry, unfocused sight of the tunnel walls whooshing past before returning her hooves to her aching head. Twilight realized the panicking blue soldier that had hit her was still screaming, but the sound was distant in her ears.

After a while, Twilight heard the sound of other voices. As her senses returned, Twilight noticed that they were no longer moving. She opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear the fogginess until she could see everything with clarity again. Twilight's heart nearly jumped out of her chest when she found herself looking into the helmet of a man wearing gray armor who could only be the Freelancer that Church mentioned.

Gasping, Twilight sat up against the backrest of her seat in the Warthog. The Freelancer immediately responded by raising his rifle at her. The sight of the barrel mere inches from her face immediately caused Twilight to freeze in place.

"You're the alien they're looking for!" The Freelancer said in a voice that was as serious and cold as the agency he worked for, "the one that attacked Command!"

"What? I didn't attack anything! They tried to take me and I ran!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Uh, huh… talking purple alien horse… guess your reaction was kind of justified there, Private Mickhead!" A blue soldier who appeared to be the CO said to the man who had freaked out and punched her.

"And to think, I joined the army to _get away_ from the farm animals," Mickhead sighed, "stupid Equinophobia…"

Twilight took a stuttering breath as she continued to stare down the barrel of the Freelancer's weapon, the accumulated anxiety of the past couple of days making her start to feel ill.

"What do you people even want with me, anyway?" She croaked.

"Well I can't speak for Project Freelancer, but personally I'd like to know how you got here from your world," the man in gray armor stated, his rifle remaining unnaturally steady.

Twilight sighed, rapidly getting tired of repeating her story, "one of your ships crashed on my world and when I was sent to investigate, an A.I called Gamma teleported me here."

The Freelancer actually lowered his weapon a bit, moving a little closer to a very surprised Twilight, "_Gamma_? Shit, why didn't we receive Wyoming's Recovery Beacon?"

Twilight tilted her head. She was about to ask the man just what he was talking about when he raised his weapon at her again, "Were there any other on board?"

"No, it was just…" Twilight trailed off when an important detail occurred to her. Something that she'd completely forgotten about until that very moment.

"Wait… there was that other A.I. The one Arcane Star pulled out of Tex."

"What happened to it? Where's Omega now?"

Twilight raised her eyebrows at the mention of the name, "Arcane Star tried a conversion spell on it to turn it into an M.I, but it failed. The thing just vanished afterward," on further reflection, Twilight figured that was probably the reason she'd never thought to mention the other A.I before now.

"Shit," The Freelancer fully lowered his weapon this time, "for your sake, I hope that the conversion failed. Otherwise, your friends back home are in a lot of trouble!" The Freelancer then looked away and muttered, "though, they might still be in trouble either way..."

Another uneasy sensation filled Twilight's chest with the Freelancer's words. She was about to ask him what he meant when another voice filled Twilight's ears via the radio headset she was wearing.

"Come in, Recovery One. Recovery One, do you read?" The voice was not Church, but that of a cold, distant sounding woman that Twilight had never heard before.

"This is Recovery One. Go ahead Recovery Command," it was only when she heard the Freelancer's reply over the radio that Twilight realized her headset must have been tuned to his frequency.

"Recovery One, what is the status of your search?" The voice of Recovery Command asked.

"I've arrived at Outpost 28-A. There are two sim troopers here that have extensive experience with the Omega A.I."

"Copy that, Recovery One. Any word on the priority target?"

It was when the Freelancer looked in Twilight's direction that she realized the "priority target" in question was her. Panicking, Twilight looked around, searching desperately for an escape.

"Negative, Command. No sign of the alien yet."

Twilight slowly turned her head to look back at the Freelancer as the voice of the woman at Command continued in her ears.

"Copy that, Recovery One. Command out."

A strange silence prevailed between Twilight and Recovery One as the static of the radio disappeared. Finally, the Freelancer spoke.

"You said earlier that you're trying to get home, correct?"

Twilight nodded, an uncertain look to her eyes. Still, she was beginning to feel slightly more at ease in the presence of the Freelancer.

"I'm Agent Washington. I think you and I share a common goal."

* * *

"**Attention Ponyville… ites? Ponyville… Ponyvillians? Ponyvillegones?**"

Standing in the tightly packed crowd of ponies inside Town Hall, Applejack and the others looked up at the balcony/stage above where a certain pink pony stood, a hoof below her muzzle as she struggled with the proper term for citizens of Ponyville. As soon as "Pinkie" had been sure that the rest of her friends had arrived at the party she had disappeared to the combined annoyance and concern of Applejack and the others. They barely had time to go to the refreshment table for punch when she appeared on the elevated stage. It was only fitting: the thing that had taken Pinkie's body and mind was standing exactly where Nightmare Moon had - who had done the same to Luna - back when the six bearers of harmony first met.

After deciding that what Ponyville ponies were actually called didn't matter, Pinkie resumed her dramatic speech with an unsettling smile. Her voice echoed throughout the wide open finely crafted Town Hall, its tasteful architecture covered in more multicolored streamers and clustered balloons. Behind Pinkie… no, behind Pinkie's body was another looming image of the party pony that resembled a campaign ad.

"**I have an announcement: I'm campaigning for Mayor! Hee hee ha ha!**"

At this, all of the gathered ponies looked around at each other, a low murmur of confusion and intrigue prevailing throughout the expansive room. Applejack found her gaze falling on a certain tan mare with a gray mane.

"Now, wait a minute. There's procedures for that…" Mayor Mare started, but O'Malley continued.

"**The platform I'm running on is a platform OF OBLIVION! Mwa ha ha haaa!**"

"Also, less taxes on party supplies!" Pinkie herself cheerfully added. So there was still a little of their friend in there after all.

"**Yes, I'm going to make many changes around here! For starters, I'm going to bring down the old governing body!**" O'Malley then brought Pinkie's hoof down and brought it back up with a lit match, "**and by that I mean I'm going to DESTROY THIS BUILDING AND EVERYONE INSIDE! HA HA HA HAAAAA!**"

O'Malley then lit one of the streamers lining the wall and to everypony's surprise the flames moved along the streamers like a spark along a wick. O'Malley then used Pinkie's mouth to bite through a series of strings holding in place clusters of balloons of various colors on the walls opposite to the stage. The balloons floated up to the rafters revealing the literal dynamite attached to the wall at the end of the wick of streamers burning their way across the chamber.

"**First Ponyville, THEN THE UNIVERSE!**"

Panic ensued as every pony in Town Hall began shrieking and stampeding toward the door, but the front entrance to the Town Hall was firmly locked. Rainbow Dash wasted no time in flying up to the rapidly burning streamers and flapped her wings rapidly in an attempt to put the flames out. Instead, she only encouraged the flames forward. Upon looking at the slightly damp streamers, Rainbow realized O'Malley must have used the same "Odorless Pranking Liquid" as he had on Rarity's boutique.

While everypony else was desperately trying to find a way out, Applejack looked up at the source of the chaos, hoping to bring them down with her lasso. Her eyes widened when she saw that a familiar colorful piece of artillery had materialized in front of O'Malley. The entity took hold of Pinkie's party cannon and fired a shot straight down at Applejack. The farm pony leapt out of the path of a table complete with a cloth and desserts that inexplicably exploded upon impact with the ground that Applejack had previously been standing on.

O'Malley next turned Pinkie's weapon on Rarity, whose horn was glowing as she tried to summon a spell. As she climbed to her hooves, Applejack noticed the way the light coming out of the fashionista's horn was flickering out as Rarity continued her attempts to cast. Seeing that her friend was in danger, Applejack swiftly tossed her lasso forward, roping up the white unicorn and pulling her out of harm's way just as a triple decker cake from Pinkie's party cannon landed and once again burst into flames for no readily apparent reason.

"Thanks for that. I guess I exerted all of my magic in our earlier fight with Tex," Rarity said as she caught her breath.

"HEY! A little help up here?" Rainbow's raspy voice called out.

Applejack and Rarity both looked up in the pegasus' direction, who had now resorted to punching the flames eating away at the streamers getting closer and closer to the wall mounted explosives. Fluttershy suddenly joined Rainbow alongside the burning streamers with the jug of punch from the refreshment table in her hooves. In a single douse the flames were extinguished and the four friends breathed a sigh of relief.

With that taken care of, Applejack looked back up at O'Malley. He still had Pinkie's party cannon in her forelegs and was currently aiming at someone on the ground floor, tongue out sideways as Pinkie's eyes were squinted in concentration.

"_SPIKE! GET UP! MOVE!_" Rarity's distressed cry told Applejack all she needed to know, but she wasn't sure what she could do. Applejack doubted that her lasso would reach all the way up to where O'Malley stood.

She then noticed Pinkie's ears twitch curiously as something moved behind her. Applejack noticed something akin to a shimmer on stage behind Pinkie, like she was looking at that part of the air through distorted glass. O'Malley then turned Pinkie's body around and found himself looking up at a tall armored figure in black as it materialized in place of the distorted air.

"Hey, Omega!" Tex greeted.

Pinkie's eyes widened, "**_Alison?_**"

Tex then delivered a hard kick straight to Pinkie's face, sending the pink pony and the foreign entity inhabiting her plummeting off the elevated stage and crashing to the floor below in a pile of pink limbs. The other four ponies and baby dragon all ran up to the inert Pinkie Pie, whose face was twisted in a rather comical grimace as she and O'Malley lay unconscious.

As Tex landed beside them on a single knee and palm, Applejack uncoiled her rope, "Reckon now would be a good time to use this, huh?"

* * *

As Church followed Joe-Ennis into Blue Base, he heard the sound of a Warthog engine outside followed by horrified screaming. Church was curious about what was going on, but decided to ignore it. He didn't feel like getting involved with any more of other peoples' problems. He had enough on his plate as it was.

Church cleared his throat as the two of them continued walking along the second floor of the base, "so… locked Caboose in the brig, huh? What exactly did he do?"

"Oh, he just mullered everything all over the gaff. It was mental," Joe-Ennis replied in his Oxfordshire British accent,

Church did a double take, "Uh… what?"

"He flumped our tank into a heap. He bunced me right in the gob and then bipped my leg. Was bloody lamped! Yeah… he's just generally been an absolute mong!"

As the two of them reached a flight of stairs going down, Church stopped in his tracks.

"What the fuck did you just say? Was that even English?"

Joe-Ennis stopped walking and turned to face Church "Of course it is, you bloody ponce! It's the _Queen's_English!"

Church just stared straight at Joe-Ennis, still as a statue, "I can't… I didn't understand a one word you just said. It's like you're doing a scene out of fucking _Harry Potter_!"

Joe-Ennis just shrugged and turned back around, continuing down the stairs, "Whatever man, don't be a pleb! Caboose is right down here. Christ…"

The pair of blues descended the stairs and then turned to face a green metal door. Joe-Ennis unlocked the door by pressing a glowing yellow button on a panel to the side and the door slowly swung open. The two of them stepped into the brig and immediately noticed a slight anomaly.

"Where's Caboose?" Church asked.

Sure enough, the dark brig was completely empty save for a single pile of discarded cables likely used to keep Caboose safely bound.

"Hello? Caboose? Caboose, are you in here?" Joe-Ennis asked, fear causing his voice to increase in pitch as he pulled out his pistol and walked cautiously forward, "Caboose? Caboose…?"

Joe-Ennis paused before he tried to address the missing man by his first name "... Michael?"

At that moment a blue blur fell from the ceiling and landed on top of Joe-Ennis, knocking the British blue to the floor.

"AAAH MICHAEL! MICHAEL PLEASE!" Joe-Ennis shrieked, his high-pitched accented voice making his exclamations of Caboose's first name sound more like "Mi-cool."

Joe-Ennis' screams were abruptly cut off as his blue assailant quickly picked up the pistol he dropped and fired a single shot into his back.

"Be careful!" Caboose stated pleasantly as he stepped off of Joe-Ennis' inert gurgling form. The dim young man then looked at Church standing in the doorway. Church didn't move, hoping that if he remained still Caboose wouldn't be able to see him.

"Hi Church!" No such luck.

In all honesty, Church probably should have been more concerned that Caboose had just killed a man in front of him. Instead, a single detail about his comrade had completely taken over Church's attention.

"Caboose? What the fuck is with your armor?" Indeed, Caboose's helmet was the same model as the one they'd all been wearing for the past few years only more rounded. Somehow, it gave Caboose a more child-like appearance.

After a short argument between Church and Caboose about his downgraded armor, the two of them turned around and made their way to the front entrance to Blue Base, having established that Blue Team is in fact _not_ a top ten list.

"Seriously, do I look like a fucking Late Night Show host to you?" Church asked irritably as they stepped out into the wide open underground tunnel of Rat's Nest.

"Well if you were, I'd totally be your cool musical sidekick!" Caboose said, miming playing a keyboard and stomping his foot on the ground repeatedly as he sang, "_rack-a-frack-a-rack-a-hoedown!_"

Church groaned, looking away from Caboose to find that Freelancer who wanted to talk to them. Church still wasn't sure what to do about him yet. He hoped the man would only have a few questions to ask him and Caboose before being on his way so that Church could get back to figuring out a plan with…

Church stopped dead in his tracks. There was a Warthog parked in front of the base that wasn't there earlier. What frightened him about it was the fact that a certain purple unicorn was sitting in the passenger seat with a certain Freelancer in gray and yellow armor standing over her.

"Fuck! TWILIGHT! RUN!" Church exclaimed, raising his sniper rifle at the mildly surprised looking Freelancer, who turned in Church's direction but made no move to attack.

Twilight wasted no time in jumping out of the passenger seat of the Warthog, but instead of fleeing like Church told her to, she placed herself between him and the Freelancer.

"Wait, Church! Agent Washington isn't our enemy!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Bullshit! He's a Freelancer! Even if he wasn't under orders to bring you in, they can't be trusted!"

"Unless helping you people is beneficial to my mission," the Freelancer apparently called Washington said, taking a few steps toward Church and Caboose.

Caboose suddenly looked over at Twilight, apparently just noticing her for the first time.

"George! You're alive!" Caboose exclaimed, running toward Twilight arms outstretched, "The power of our love has brought you back!"

A look of sudden panic appeared on Twilight's face as her eyes widened. As Caboose made to scoop her up into a death-hug, Twilight disappeared in a bright flash of light and reappeared moments later behind Church. Caboose whirled around and moved to hug Twilight again, but stopped as his visor came within inches of Washington's.

"And you're… Caboose?" Washington asked uneasily.

"Some people call me that…" Caboose said whimsically, "others call me 'moron.' And only one calls me 'Mi-cool.'"

"And… you're the one who has experience with the Omega A.I?"

"Yeah… I had O'Malley in my head for a while. He was a pretty good roommate. Always did the dishes. Didn't leave the toilet seat up…"

Washington tilted his head back, "What?"

"I'm still kind of sad we never had a proper hoedown together…" Caboose lamented before he once again began forcefully stomping his foot on the ground in a somewhat rhythmic manner, "_rack-a-frack-a-rack-O'Malley!_"

Washington looked over at Church, who had his sniper rifle raised at Caboose.

"Goddamn it, Caboose if you don't shut the fuck up I will _end you_!" Church hissed, "you already killed me once, don't think I won't return the favor!"

Washington looked back and forth from Caboose to Church, his gaze finally resting down on Twilight, "So, a talking purple unicorn is the most normal one out of all of you… that must be a new achievement in insanity!"

Twilight gave Washington her best sympathetic smile, "You get used to them."

"Alright… Washington, is it? You have some explaining to do," Church said, lowering his rifle, "you said you were willing to help us. Why?"

"I'm on a mission to recover the Omega A.I, and as your equine friend here informed me, it's somewhere on her home planet. The very place the two of you are trying to get to!"

Church rounded on Twilight, "What the fuck, Twilight? You told him all that stuff?"

Twilight glared right back at Church, "He's offered to help us, Church! He had the chance to turn me in to his superiors but he didn't!" Twilight ran a hoof through her mane as she collected herself, "Look, even with the plan we have now, we're still no closer to actually finding a way back to Equestria! As a top Freelancer, Washington actually has a realistic chance of getting us there!"

Church wanted to tell Twilight why she was wrong. He wanted to tell the naive little alien why Washington couldn't be trusted and why they were better off without him. Except he knew she had a point. By themselves, Church and Twilight could never hope to make it to Equestria. They simply didn't have the knowledge or experience to actually go through with their plan. With a top Recovery Agent on their side though, they could actually do it.

"Fine. Still doesn't mean I trust him!" Church said, giving Washington a cautious glare.

"Okay. What do you guys have so far?" Washington asked.

And so Twilight and Church explained their plan to find the travel log of Tex's ship and a slipspace drive Twilight can use her magic on. As they did so, Lieutenant Miller pulled Caboose aside to have a few final words with him. Church wondered if the Lieutenant had come to actually care about Caboose in their short time together. If that was the case, at least Caboose would have somewhere to go back to should things turn out for the worst.

Washington listened in silence as Twilight and Church explained their plan.

"So, what do you think?" Twilight asked when they finished.

"Well, you have one thing right Twilight: as a top Recovery Agent I have the clearance to access Command's records of their ships' travel logs. All we need is a place to access them from," Washington explained, "I would need a computer. I know that a few Freelancer bases have ones with a line to the Command server, but not many. The question is where to find one…"

Church put a hand on his chin as he recalled all of the bases he'd been to over the past five years. It didn't take too long for a realization to hit him.

"A computer, huh? I think I know where to find one…"

* * *

The Warthog carrying two blue soldiers and a purple unicorn drove out of the tunnel that served as the entrance to Rat's Nest, unaware that they were being watched from a distance. The watcher tracked the Warthog through the scope of his sniper rifle before focusing on another vehicle following shortly behind. A soldier in gray armor with yellow detail was following behind on an ATV.

"Well, well. If it isn't dear old Agent Washington. Just what are you playing at?" Wyoming lowered his sniper and watched the distant vehicles disappear into a line of trees from his position atop a distant cliff.

Wyoming hadn't known Washington too well during their time in Project Freelancer together. Frankly, that was because Wyoming hadn't thought much of him at the time, considering him nothing but an inexperienced rookie. Something had clearly changed Washington in the time since, as now he was Command's top Recovery Agent. Now here he was, apparently aiding the little alien pony and her blue friends; no doubt against direct orders from Command.

Wyoming didn't fancy his chances against the combined strength of the pony, the blue soldiers who had caused him plenty of trouble in the past and a Freelancer of equal skill as he. No, Wyoming was going to need some help and he knew just the way to acquire it.

Turning away from the cliff overlooking the expanse of rock and trees, Wyoming slung his sniper rifle over his back and turned on his helmet radio. He then cleared his throat and proceeded to put on his best impression of a boorish American accent to disguise his voice.

"Come in, Red Base. This is Command. Do you read?"

Without hesitation, the oafish red Sergeant answered, "This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Go ahead, Command!"

"We have new orders for ya… partner…" Wyoming said in his version of a Southern accent.

"Roger that, Command. Y'know, it's funny. Your voice sounds mighty familiar!"

Wyoming flinched slightly, thinking for a moment that the Sergeant had figured out who he really was. It was then that it occurred to him: his voice when imitating an American accent sounded remarkably like Sarge. It was almost as if he was talking to himself. Wyoming dismissed the thoughts, focusing on his reason for contacting Sarge in the first place.

"Agent Washington has betrayed Command and reassembled the blues," Wyoming chuckled quietly after he stopped transmitting. Outright lying to manipulate others was one thing. It brought him an entirely different level of satisfaction when he could technically use the truth to achieve the results he wanted.

"_I knew it!_ I knew he was a Blue!"

"Yes, you're a very astute man. Now, gather your team. The blues are in possession of a purple equine alien that is vital to Command's operations…"

"Wait a minute, do you mean Twilicapernicus?"

Wyoming grunted in surprise. Although it sounded like Sarge had thoroughly butchered the alien's name, the fact remained that he knew about her existence. Wyoming decided it didn't matter. He probably didn't know enough to compromise Freelancer anyway. Just in case, Wyoming made it a point to deal with him and his squad as soon as the alien was in custody. After all, he couldn't have them taking his big prize to Command themselves.

"Yes. We want you to eliminate the Blues but take the alien alive! Understood?"

"Yes, sir!"

Wyoming grinned under his helmet, "Good. Command out."

"Wait just a second! Any word on that soldier poison I ordered?" Sarge chimed in quickly before Wyoming had a chance to disconnect.

"Uh… what?"

"You know, the green stuff that let's ya infect one of your soldiers and send him into the enemy's midst where he'd spread disease through noxious clouds that come out of all of his orifices and infect nearby enemies and turns them into legions of the undead that would be perfect for dealing with using a shotgun?"

"I… don't think that's a real thing…"

"Oh… well how about the robot bull that attacks whatever colors you program it to hate?"

"No…"

"Hypno ring?"

"No."

"Full body pillow of disassembled robot?"

"NO!"

"Well why the Hell am I subscribed to Red Army Catalogue if you don't have any of that stuff in stock? I'm startin' to think I'm being ripped off!"

"Perhaps that's because you _are_ getting ripped off you bloody buffoon!" Wyoming's palm went straight to his face when he realized he'd let his accent slip about two "Nos" ago.

Sarge remained silent for a little while. Surely he'd figured out who he was talking to by now…

"So are you telling me the armless man who gave me this subscription wasn't legit?"

Wyoming groaned, "Command out."

Whatever Sarge was about to say next was cut short by Wyoming disconnecting their conversation. Turning to look back out in the direction Washington and the Blues had gone with the alien, Wyoming sighed.

"Some help is better than no help at all…"

* * *

"While normally I don't need anyone's help dealing with this asshole, this is going to be a problem," Tex said.

Spike looked up at the imposing creature in black armor beside him. Despite the others assurances, he still felt nervous around the large alien synthetic. Especially after hearing what it was capable of.

Four ponies, one baby dragon and one robot in black armor all stood in the middle of the tree library around an unconscious Pinkie Pie, who was firmly tied up in a cocoon of rope courtesy of Applejack. Not that the rope would do any good if O'Malley decided to switch bodies. They only hoped that he and Pinkie would remain unconscious until they figured out a solution.

"Well what exactly can we do?" Applejack asked, "Much as we wanna help our friend, you know more about this thing that's in her head than we do!"

"You said you dealt with this O'Malley before, right? So... how did you do it then?" Fluttershy tentatively asked.

"Before, I had a way of getting inside the heads of anyone he possessed so I could kick him out from the inside," Tex explained, "won't work now, though. I'm still an A.I and can only jump into people with an A.I slot and a radio signal to travel along."

Spike stomped a foot on the ground, unable to take any more negative facts, "Well we have to do something!"

Rainbow Dash shot up into the air and hovered in place, "Yeah! It's not like a solution is just going appear out of thin air!"

Spike suddenly felt slightly nauseous as a familiar burning sensation rose from his stomach to his throat. With a loud belch, a plume of green fire burst from the little dragon's mouth a few inches from Rarity's face and a scroll popped into existence, dropping to the wooden floor.

"Spike dear, you really ought to cover your mouth when you do that," Rarity said, waving a hoof in front of her face to dissipate some of the residual smoke.

Meanwhile, Spike bent down to pick up the scroll and wasted no time unfurling it. His face beamed when he saw who it was from.

"Princess Celestia responded to my letter!"

At Spike's exclamation, the four mares in the room excitedly gathered around the baby dragon and even Tex casually strode up to read over him. Spike cleared his throat as he prepared to read aloud.

"_Dear Spike,_

_I apologize for not replying to you sooner, but I have had my hooves full dealing with this alien ship alongside my regular duties. First of all, I'd like to address the issue of the Guard contingent I've sent to Ponyville. I'm not sure how much they told you, but the creature discovered at the crash site has escaped and may be after you and the girls. Even with the guards in place, I strongly advise caution to all of you…_"

"Little too late for that, Princess…" Tex snarked.

"_As for the matter of Pinkie Pie's strange behavior, I've dealt with something similar in the past, which is why I sent the expert along with the guard contingent. I'm sure that she's already explained the situation to you and has worked out a solution. Please let me know if there is anything else troubling you or the girls._

_Sincerely,_

_Princess Celestia._"

"Expert? Whatever is the Princess talking about?" Rarity asked.

Before Spike could confirm that he had as much of a clue as the rest of them did, there was a sudden and firm series of knocks at the door.

"I'll get it," Spike said turning toward the library's front door.

"Ooh! Maybe it's the expert!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"C'mon RD, after we were literally just talking about them? What would the odds of that be?" Applejack asked.

Spike opened the door and was greeted by the sight of a tan unicorn mare with a wild red and yellow mane like fire.

"Guess you're Spike, then! I came by earlier but no one was here," she said.

Spike's face lit up, "Oh, you must be the expert Celestia sent to help!"

The unicorn mare nodded, "Name's Sunset Shimmer. I hear you're having problems with an M.I!"


End file.
